4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
I was engaged to be married once, before I met my wife.
There were a lot of good qualities about my ex-fiancée, such as being intelligent, beautiful, and creative. She also had some qualities that were not as good, but the strongest of these is that we were not really a good match.
During our relationship, we both walked dangerous paths. We drank a lot of alcohol, together and separately, much of the time. We got into smoking many things (all of the legal variety). We began “sleeping together” about half way through our relationship. We became bitter and even mean toward others and eventually ourselves.
That relationship wore me out: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I call much of our relationship “the time I should not have called myself a Christian,” because … well … read Galatians 5:19-21, and I/we at least seriously considered or at worst did almost everything on that list.
When I met the woman who became my wife, we did things differently.
The relationship began with a promise of purity and a dedication to God. Even when we are angry with each other (yes, it happens in good relationships, too!) we still find good things to say to each other. (To be honest, our “fights” last mere moments, and our anger subsides in even less time … often instantly)
We lift each other up in prayer, worship God together, and find ourselves sacrificing in some way for the other on a regular basis … only to receive the greater blessing of joy and happiness, as we both enjoy much of the same things, anyway!
This may not be the exact picture of all strong couples, but there will always be similarities.
Now consider this: Jesus Christ has called the Church His Bride (As evidenced in Ephesians 5 and Revelation 21-22).
How do you treat the Husband?
Do you lift up and bless or cause shame and bitterness?
O God, strengthen our relationships with love and grace. Give us the wisdom to know when a relationship is healthy or not. Guide us in all righteousness that we may bless You with our lives.
September 29th, 2012 at 6:35 am
September 30th, 2012 at 12:51 am
Thanks for being willing to share this part of your life. Many would benefit from your advice if they would only listen.
September 30th, 2012 at 1:33 am
I have said in places online before that I have learned to share my story so that a) others can help keep me accountable and b) perhaps it will help keep others from doing the same.
Sometimes I still need help listening to my advice!
September 30th, 2012 at 1:36 am
But where are the people that should be telling me that I need to be in bed, instead of reading blogs at 1:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning?
September 30th, 2012 at 1:40 am
Funny story: my wife and I were just debating going to bed or staying up a little longer to eat a bowl of cereal.
September 30th, 2012 at 8:48 am
Ahh, cereal before bed. That’s what we old people do, you know.
September 30th, 2012 at 9:46 am
Anthony, Be careful with that old people thing! My wife and I where up at 1:30 a.m. and we were not eating cereal or online, and we are older than both of you and Daniel. I guess we all can go to Denny’s For our senior discount, I know I can!
September 30th, 2012 at 12:20 pm
I have not done a middle of the night Denny’s run in … 3.3 months! The misses and I went with my sister at 1:30 am in the middle of June (while visiting family and friends).
October 2nd, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Don’t do Denny’s. There’s just one in our area, and I don’t trust it. Waffle House, maybe?
October 2nd, 2012 at 10:17 pm
We have a few good Denny’s around here, and also good Waffle Houses! If we want to be out quicker, WH is probably the way to go.
October 2nd, 2012 at 9:47 pm
Maybe it’s the alligator meat.
October 2nd, 2012 at 4:00 am
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