Category Archives: affection

Blessed

Proverbs 31:10, 28 

Who can find such a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies….
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

This last chapter of Proverbs has provided the male contributors to Proverbial Thought with several opportunities to reflect on the blessing of a good wife. Perhaps that is something all husbands should do more frequently. Perhaps by taking stock more often husbands would be prompted to praise their marriage partners instead of taking them for granted.

This challenge applies to our children too. How often do children fall into the same trap as their father and fail to appreciate just how blessed they are by their mother? This does saddle fathers with additional responsibility. If children see their father taking their mother for granted then it seems inevitable that they will fail to truly value the blessings they receive from their mother.

Marilyn and Reuben copySo here in my final entry as a contributor to Proverbial Thought I want to take the opportunity to thank my wife Marilyn. It is difficult to adequately express my gratitude. In two months we will celebrate our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. As I look back on those thirty-five years I know that God has blessed me beyond anything I have ever deserved in a wife, and I thank Him for what I consider to be an arranged marriage. When God chose us for each other He knew what He was doing. He always does.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19: 3-6 NIV)

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Planting a Vineyard

Proverbs 31:10,16 

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies….
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

P1010626 copyMy wife is blessed with many gifts, talents, and abilities, but growing or sustaining green things is not one of them. While there is little chance that Marilyn would consider buying a field and planting a vineyard, the fruit of her hands is evident in many other ways. For a start, there are the five children she has raised, and two grandchildren she also pours out her love upon. Then there are the other lives she has touched in so many different ways. Most of the time folk wouldn’t even know that Marilyn is there because she prefers to work away quietly in the background. You won’t find Marilyn up on the stage at church, but you will see her serving coffee and tea in the lobby to welcome people to the morning service, and she is often busy behind the scenes in the church kitchen, or producing cakes in huge quantities for church events, and as gifts to people she loves. And she is the same outside of home and church.

The fruit of Marilyn’s hands is evident in my life too. I cannot place a value on her loving support over nearly thirty-five years of marriage. If I consider the investment Marilyn has made in being a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, and friend, then it could be compared to a field. Marilyn has taken that field and transformed it, and through the fruit of her hands she has benefited the lives of many. Without knowing it she has set an example. Without deliberately seeking to demonstrate the love of God through her life, she has done just that. Quietly, effectively, and always without seeking acknowledgment or praise.

Who can find such a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.


Kissing the Truth

Proverbs 24:23-26

These things also [belong] to the wise. It is not good to have respect of persons in judgment. He that saith unto the wicked, Thou art righteous; him shall the people curse, nations shall abhor him: But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them. Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer.

Ultimate Turnoff

There are a lot of things which we could cover in today’s proverb, but I will focus on only one: attraction.

What attracts you to other people? Their good looks? Their personality? Their sense of humor? You could probably create a long list of attractive qualities, but the last on your list, I would bet, is prejudice. And more than that, I bet people who lie on the witness stand or render prejudiced verdicts from the bench disgust you, don’t they?

According to this proverb, those who call the wicked “righteous” and let criminals walk free are the scum of the earth. Nobody likes them (except the wicked). People from all walks of life “abhor” prejudicial judgment; it’s the ultimate turnoff.

Ultimate Attraction

According to verse 26 the most attractive thing is truth. Now, I am not one who goes around kissing everyone who gives me a correct answer. For instance, I’ve never kissed anyone who gave me truthful directions. I’ve never kissed my daughters every time they answered a spelling question correctly.

When I asked my dog, “Did you do this!?” I did not kiss his wet nose the moment he bowed his head in guilt. But, I did kiss my wife when she said, “I will.” I assumed that was the right answer.

What Solomon is trying to express is the refreshing joy we feel when someone tells the truth, especially when the wicked are being judged. Truth makes the system work. Truth gives us hope. Truth brings justice. Truth is not prejudicial. That is why the wise are drawn to it.

Note: Isn’t it interesting that Judas, the most abhorred man in history, betrayed Truth with a kiss? (Matthew 25:48-49)


People Preferences

Proverbs 22:2

The rich and poor meet together: the Lord is the maker of them all.
Rich and poor have this in common: The Lord is the Maker of them all.

Personal Preferences

We all have people we like more than others. This is why we have friends and families. There are just some people we like having around more than other people.

There is nothing wrong with liking some people more than others. Even Jesus had close friends (see His Twelve Disciples, and of those Peter, James, and John who were His closest friends).

The real danger comes when we show preferences for others for selfish reasons, when love for others is not the primary cause.

Favoritism

We must remember that God sees all people equally: as His loved children.

He does not love one more for having money and possessions or for not having money nor possessions.

God cares most for those who express their love and devotion for Him, yet He still shows love and grace to all people in some fashion.

We should do likewise, and, in fact, we are commanded to.

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
James 2:1-4, ESV

Our Great God, thank You for Your love and grace. Help us to live out that love and grace with all people, regardless of wealth or social standing. Help us to love everyone as You have loved us through the cross.


Panic Room

Proverbs 21:18 

The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous, and the transgressor for the upright.
The wicked are punished in place of the godly, and traitors in place of the honest. (NLT)

The fact that wickedness exists in the world can be traced back to Adam and Eve and their family. The fall, when Adam and Eve disobeyed the one rule God gave them, ultimately led to the first murder when Cain killed his brother Abel. It seems incredible that one apparently small event in The Garden of Eden could give evil such a foothold in the world. It is not necessary to look back in history to see the consequences. We only have to view the TV news or read a newspaper. God’s world seems to be overrun by evil; but worse than that – it seems that those who are wicked prosper (see Psalm 73). Perhaps they do, but this proverb, and other Scriptures confirm that the time will come when the wicked will be judged and pay the penalty for the way that they have lived.

We have to remember that God is watching us, and watching over us. He sees everything, and He hears everything. This proverb confirms that God has a concern for the godly, the righteous and the honest. However hard we struggle with thoughts about the inequalities in our world, or with the harsh realities of human behavior, we know that God is just, and we know that He keeps His promises. That is what this verse shouts at me.

In Psalm 73 it is only when Asaph enters God’s sanctuary that he begins to understand. This leads Asaph into an attitude of worship and the wonderful words, “Whom have I in heaven but You?” When we come into God’s sanctuary and open our ears then we allow Him to speak into our situation, to answer some of our questions, and to remind us that it is good to be near to Him. In a world we struggle to understand, God is our panic room.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73: 23-28 NIV)

Getting Spanked

Proverbs 20:30

The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.
Blows and wounds scrub away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being. (NIV)

Earning a Spanking

Growing up, I was not always the most well-behaved child.

My parents would tell me to do something or not to do something, and I every so often I would ignore their commands.

What was the result?

Most times, I would be laid over a knee and spanked two or three times.

I eventually learned that there are consequences to my actions, and sometimes those consequences hurt.

Western culture may frown on such things today, but the Bible tells us of the benefits of a good spanking (or other such discipline).

Spiritual Spanking

As a whole, we tend to ignore God on a relatively consistent basis.

This could be by not doing something we know we should, doing something we know we should not, or doing or not doing something that we understand from common sense needs to be done or not.

And God reprimands us.

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” (Proverbs 3:11-12)

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.
Hebrews 12:4-8, NIV

Do not look at hardship, beatings, and pain as necessarily bad. They could be God’s spankings that are the means of growth and understanding.

Heavenly Father, purge us of all evil and give us the wisdom to understand that it is happening. Help us grow in Your righteousness.


She’s a Good Thing

Proverbs 18:22

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

(originally posted in 2013)

What She Says

It’s a bad one for you to have, honey, unless you’re going into dream land.” That’s what my wife said when I showed her the text about which I was going to write. In other words, my wife, Valerie, does not think of herself as a “good thing.” She does not see that the Lord showed me favor; she thinks of herself more like a burden.

For the last several years my wife’s health has been going down hill. No longer can she do many of the things she used to do. She is constantly battling pain – pain that won’t even allow me to hug her tightly, flirtatiously squeeze her thigh, or even rub her neck. The pain restricts her, limits her, and robs her of the many things of which she was capable just a few years ago. She still has her mind, but even that, because of the distraction of pain, can be affected.

Not long ago, when Valerie was suffering through a pretty bad day, between sobbing she cried, “Why would you even want to stay with me? I’m worthless. I’m a bad wife. I’m a bad mother. All I’m doing is holding you back. Surely you can’t love me; it’s just that you don’t want to break a promise.

What I Say

Well, I do love Valerie. She is my Sunshine. She’s my Baby Honey. She is my “good thing.” And I truly believe that the Lord blessed me more than I express, except maybe through the words of a song I wrote for our anniversary a few years ago…

You don’t have to be everything I ever wanted / You don’t have to be a beauty queen to catch my eye / I don’t really need another Eve to walk beside me / I’ll survive, I’ll be alright with second best / That’s a lie!

You don’t have to make every day a day worth living / You don’t have to be the brightest star up in the sky / I don’t really need to be complete, so don’t you worry / You could stay, or you could go…I’d be all right / Oh, that’s a LIE!

Chorus:

I need you….I need you / Nothing less would ever do / You were made for me; it’s plain to see / By God’s design we were meant to be / And I won’t settle for less – I need you.

I Need You” Copyright © 2007 Anthony C. Baker, BMI

What He Says

“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” – Proverbs 18:22 NLT

“Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.” – Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 KJV


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