Category Archives: Friendship

Am I offending people?

There is wisdom and there is stupidity. God is kind enough to alert me to both.

Putting others down and being a rude bully is intended to draw attention to me. If I am so insecure that the only way I think I can look good is to put others down, that is the height of stupidity.

I don’t like to think I act that way. I need to be careful. It is too easy to fall into the trap, particularly in our new world of technology and social media.

The Apostle Paul advises “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in the Messiah forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31)

If you’re dumb enough to call attention to yourself
    by offending people and making rude gestures,
Don’t be surprised if someone bloodies your nose.
    Churned milk turns into butter;
    riled emotions turn into fist fights.

Source: Proverbs 30:32-33

Image result for rude

Advertisements

Loving Our Brother-Neighbor

Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off. -Proverbs 27:10, KJV

I have moved at least a dozen times in my life. A few of those were across big distances, some were relatively close (one was from one end of a building to the other).

I have also moved churches. In most of these instances of moving, there is pain. Friends are not as near. Some are even lost after communication is broken for one reason or another.

Some friendships have been bolstered. My wife and I had to move in with friends (such as in that move across a building), including where we are living as I write this.

It is because of instances like this I see the truth of this proverb. You see, my wife and I only have one family member in state – her grandmother. It would make very little sense for us to try to live with one of our brothers or sisters who literally live across the country.

However, this proverb sort of breaks down when we acknowledge that our neighbor who is a Christian is also our brother in Christ.

We should be able to rely on our Brothers, in this case.

In fact, my wife and I have been blessed to struggle through some difficulties, because we were forced to rely on our Brothers and Sisters, Christ’s body, the Church, to get by. We have seen God’s love and provision through those who are faithful to Him, including our current roommates.

So, if you must rely on a brother, may it be a Christian brother (or sister or both). Do not forsake these friends of our Father through Christ, for this is how we share His love, as Christ commanded. (John 14)


Class Warfare Is Unbiblical

The rich and poor meet together: the LORD is the maker of them all. – Proverbs 22:2

It’s a growing trend in American politics, and it’s common around the world. So many people want to play one class of people against another.

Yet, if we were to look to biblical principles for our guide (like the Founding Fathers in America did), we would see that the act of playing one group of people – particularly the poor against the rich – promotes the rebellion of man against his Sovereign God.

There will always be poor people – always. Even Jesus said so (Matt. 26:11).

There will always be people with more than someone else – always.

But God is the maker of them all.

Until we can come to terms with the truth of Proverbs 22:2, there will always be those who play the class-warfare card to their advantage, not ours.


Worms Need a Savior, Too

Proverbs 28:24

“Whoso robbeth his father or his mother, and saith, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer.”

We All Do It

There are many people in the world that call right “wrong,” and wrong “right.” As a matter of fact, we all probably do it, and a lot more than we think.

When is the last time you broke the law and sped down the highway? Did you justify your actions with something like, “They should have never made the speed limit that low.” When is the last time you watched a rated-R movie and condoned the sex or violence as “art” or “entertainment”? Does Philippians 4:8 (whatsoever things are pure…think on these things) ever cross your mind?

So, before we read the above proverb with too much indignation, let us first examine our own actions.

Friends of Murderers 

But before we get all depressed and feel like we have no moral high ground, let’s get back to the message of the proverb at hand. Simply put, the one who steals from his own mother and father lives in the gutter of humanity.

I personally like the way the New Living Translation deals with this proverb: “Anyone who steals from his father and mother and says, “What’s wrong with that?” is no better than a murderer.” That’s right, the one who steals from his parents is no better than a murderer. Pretty harsh, isn’t it?

Oh, but wait! What does the Bible say in 1 John 3:15? It says: “Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer…” A murderer! Seriously, I can’t stand the scum who would rob his parents and say, “No big deal.” That kind of person needs to be dealt with in the harshest manner. But then again, what he really needs is a Savior.

Alas! and did my Savior bleed?
And did my Sov’reign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
For such a worm as I? 
 – Isaac Watts

Wake Up, Sleepy Head!

Proverbs 27:14

“He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.”
“A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!” – NLT
Wake Up!

Have you ever been fast asleep, dreaming of wonderful, happy times, then harshly brought back to consciousness by the loud, obnoxious, startling voice of an overly-cheerful, early-rising friend? Did you want to throw a heavy boot at his head?

There is nothing too spiritual about this proverb, in my opinion. It is not much more  than a warning to the early risers in the world. Those who scare people with a loud, “Good morning!” or “Wake up! It’s a beautiful day!” run the risk of serious injury, or at least being cursed.

Friendly Intentions

The point that Solomon is trying to make in this proverb is that even though one may have his friend’s best interests at heart, doing a good deed in the wrong manner may harm a relationship, not bless it.

In reality, a true friend should know another well enough to understand what will and will not offend. A real friend would know better than to storm into a deep sleeper’s room and scream out, “Time to wake up!” Even a happy, early riser should know better than to expect much movement from a friend who must have a cup of coffee before opening his eyes.

So, before you go out and try to do something “nice” for someone else, make sure you are not overstepping any boundaries. If you don’t use wisdom, what you intend for good might become a wake up call for you.


Forever Family

Proverbs 27:10.

“Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.” (KJV).

Never Abandon a Friend:

It’s unfortunate that we’re living in a world today where people don’t value friendships like they once did. Ours is a throwaway society where – if people get upset, hurt or offended – they abandon friendships. One of the biggest signs of our times is the fact that there is even a button on the social networking site Facebook where you can unfriend people!

In another Proverb, Solomon writes that “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (17:17) and “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (18:24). Ultimately, I believe those verses best describe our friendship with Jesus, but they are also an example for us to follow: to love at all times, to help people in their day of adversity, and to stick closer than a brother.

When Things Get Rough:

The Hebrew word eyd that is translated as calamity here means distress, burden or calamity. It is also translated in other versions of the Bible as “disaster”, “in your time of need” and “when things get rough” (The Message). In other words, when life happens! We all have days like that – like over a month ago when my oldest son Caleb was in a car accident. He and three of his football teammates were in a terrible collision that resulted in all of them being taken to the hospital. One of them had a concussion. Another one broke his nose. I thank the Lord that he and his friends are alive and recovering nicely. However, a month later and we are still working things out with our auto insurance company. The day of calamity, indeed!

Solomon gives us this advice for what to do in the day of calamity: Go to a friend for help. This is why it’s important that we never abandon friends, because we never know when we will need a helping hand. In the New Testament, over and over again we are encouraged to bear one another’s burdens, or share each other’s troubles and problems (Galatians 6:2). It is important though that as much as we should be willing to help others, we also need to learn how to ask people for help when we are in need as well.

We are Family:

I thank God for the church. The church is the family of God, and the Bible tells us that God sets the solitary in families. Church is a place where we can love and care for one another, pray for one another, encourage one another, and help each other.

If you don’t attend a local church, I want to encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church in your community and get involved. You will find support, help and hope there! And if you do attend a church, be faithfully committed to being a part of the body of believers there. Even though you might be doing well and feel like you don’t need them, maybe someone there needs what you have to give. We are family!


Happy Songs Not Allowed

Proverbs 25:20

“As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart.”

Country Songs

banjoConsidering how I was born and “raised” in Tennessee, I know a little about country music. Believe it or not, I have written a country song (to prove I could), played and recorded music in Nashville, and even toured Brenda Lee‘s house when I was a kid (I helped her daughters with a lemonade stand).

Country music (at least the stuff before Kid Rock) was earthy, blue-collar music that spoke of real life, or at least what was left of it after one spent too much time hunting, fishing, or drinking in a bar. The lyrics were usually sad, depressing, and great reasons to stay drunk. For example…

“Hunting Dear”

I came home late from hunting deer / My wife drank all my favorite beer / And then before the night was even done / My fishing poles were broke in two / And as she said, “I’m gone – we’re through / She took my dog, my truck, and my gun!

So I’ll walk down to the bar / I can stumble along that far / A country boy don’t need a cheetn’ girl / I’ll drink away my pain / Till my dog comes home again / Then we’ll both go out together…huntin’ dear.

– by Anthony Baker (just now)

Heavy Hearts

The reason why country music is so loved is the same reason the blues are so popular: heavy, broken hearts. Some say it’s impossible to really play the blues if you’ve never been heartbroken. I believe it.

I don’t know what version of country or blues Solomon had playing in his chariot, but he evidently understood that people with broken or heavy hearts hate to hear happy songs. He implied that playing cheerful music for a heavy heart is about as smart as taking one’s coat off in cold weather, or pouring vinegar on soda.

It’s Like This…

Imagine the feeling of already being chilled, but then having your coat taken away. It’s like going from bad to worse. When a person is down and depressed the last thing he really wants to hear at the moment is, “I am happy; you can be too!” Saying (or singing) that just makes the cold even colder.

The word nitre comes from the Hebrew word נֶתֶר (nether), which is what we would recognize, today, as carbonate of soda. Have you ever seen what happens when you pour vinegar on baking soda?  Not only does the soda become worthless for cleaning, but it will explode! That’s what can happen when a sad person hears a happy song.

Just Listen

In reality, besides listening to country music or the blues, the one with a heavy heart needs someone to listen, to nod a head, and be a friend. Singing a happy song to a hurting friend, although well-meaning, may seem like you don’t care, or worse, like you haven’t heard.

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities…” – Hebrews 4:15

Sometimes the best encouragement for a hurting friend or loved one is to cry along with them. That’s one reason why Jesus came.