Category Archives: counsel

Thank you, Duolingo

international-2684767_1920I’m learning Swedish.  Slowly.  I have a working vocabulary of, I dunno, 70 words?  Our second granddaughter is 50% Swedish (our son-in-law is 100%), and they live about an hour outside of Stockholm. 

Now, when my son-in-law heard of my little project, he informed me that only 10 million people on the globe speak his language, as compared with the 1.5 billion that speak some form of English, his point being that it wasn’t necessarily practical to learn his native tongue.

Since when does a grandmother need to be practical?? Continue reading

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Politically-Incorect Advice

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. – Proverbs 23:13-14

As of this writing, Rahm Emanuel, the soon-to-be-ex Mayor of Chicago and someone with whom I have rarely agreed, is in trouble for saying what needed to be said in the wake of unabated violence, including hundreds of murders:

“This may not be politically correct,” he said, “but I know the power of what faith and family can do. … Our kids need that structure. … I am asking … that we also don’t shy away from a full discussion about the importance of family and faith helping to develop and nurture character, self-respect, a value system and a moral compass that allows kids to know good from bad and right from wrong.”

He added: “If we’re going to solve this … we’ve got to have a real discussion. … Parts of the conversation cannot be off-limits because it’s not politically comfortable. … We are going to discuss issues that have been taboo in years past because they are part of the solution. … We also have a responsibility to help nurture character. It plays a role. Our kids need that moral structure in their lives. And we cannot be scared to have this conversation.” (source: FoxNews.com)

What was so wrong with he said? Oh, I know! It gave the impression that the actions of parents have a lasting effect on children, and children grow up. It took the responsibility off of the government and placed it back on the parents. It didn’t lay all the blame for violence on poverty but suggested that the decay in the family, faith, and morality is at the root of what’s wrong.

In response to the Mayor’s suggestions, a former president and CEO of the Chicago Urban League, Shari Runner, refused to accept any responsibility on behalf of families. She said, “I cannot see the victims of racist policies and bigoted practices shamed by anyone who says they need to do better or be better in their circumstances. I won’t accept it!”

Well, somebody needs to accept the blame. Who is responsible for rearing one’s children? Who is responsible for applying the rod of discipline to the seat of instruction? Not the government, that’s for sure! And, I’m sorry, folks, but racist policies and bigoted practices are no excuse for immorality, having children out of wedlock, and men with 16 baby mommas.

Folks, the stats don’t lie: “Children from broken homes [are] nine times more likely to commit crimes.” (source: The Telegraph UK)

And when it comes to Proverbs 23:13-14, we need to understand that a lot of grown men and women are on their way to hell and taking others with them all because of delinquent parenting.

It may be politically incorrect, but I’m not running for office – I’m telling you the truth…and so is Rahm Emanuel.


Interpreting a Proverb

I am going to do something a little different – I’m going to ask you to do some investigative work.

Please read the following verse from the King James Version of the Bible, then think about what it means.

Don’t look at another translation just yet. Don’t do anything other than read the following verse:

A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth. – Proverbs 17:8 KJV

What is it talking about?

Is the meaning obvious to you? What first impression do you get when reading it?

Quickly! Leave a comment below as to your first thoughts, then go do your research and leave a second comment.

Don’t cheat! The eyes of the Lord are watching 😉

 


Bring On the Red Ink

doggie dunceIt’s been years since I have taken a written test, but even as an adult I still get some well-suppressed jitters when the paper is handed back.  (That is, unless it’s all on computer; I’m showing my vintage, I suppose.)

Who doesn’t remember the composition class in high school with the completed assignment coming back marked up in red from the teacher?  And I only made it to trigonometry and “college math” when I was in high school—I begged off from calculus, thank you very much.  My first trig exam came back into my hands with something like an 11 out of 40 or 50. (I still distinctly remember that “11” at the top of the page.)

Thankfully, nursing school didn’t need calculus or trig, but since this was before the days of ubiquitous computerized machinery—or Google—we needed a special form of math that had to do with calculating IV drip rates, converting “household” and “apothecary” measurements into “metric” portions, and the like.  There’s no wiggle room in this kind of math—the patient’s health (and life) depended on it. 

I’m not sure what kind of memories King Solomon was drawing upon when he wrote this…

“To learn, you must love discipline;
    it is stupid to hate correction.”

…but he may have had a time when he also hoped his own personal physician hadn’t tried to cheat, fake or argue his way through medical school. 

To be a student of any kind takes discipline, and discipline takes humility.  It means embracing the (eventually inevitable) fact that I’m not smart enough on my own to get it right the first time.  Maybe not even the second or third.  That someone may actually know more than me.  That knowledge and skill comes only with persistent personal application, and that, in itself, comes with the price of time and sacrifice.

In reality, the dunce hat doesn’t belong to those who make mistakes, but to those who refuse to learn from them, and from others.

Your future “patients” will thank you.

Proverbs 12:1 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Doggie Dunce photo from StrangeDangers.com, Google Images


Your sty, or mine?

pig-214349_1920My grandfather used to raise hogs.  I remember as a kid how grandma would have the runts up at the house trying to feed them in the off-change they might decide to live.  And to this little girl, they were sooOOO000ooo adorable!  I was such an animal lover, and I would naturally end up naming them, like Sylvester Pigsley. 

Then one of them would succumb and grandma would just as naturally heave it over the fence.  (Can’t remember if it was Sylvester or not, but it was quite the education for a young suburbanite…)

I have also since learned that pigs are not overly discriminating with their dietary preferences; neither is keeping their personal space clean a high priority, thus our comments to the teenager’s room looking like “a pig-sty”. 

Okay, I’m still a suburbanite, but to this day I think a pig’s reputation gets a bit of a bum rap.  I’m told they are actually one of the more intelligent barnyard animals, rolling around in mud and eating slop notwithstanding.  All that intelligence is just hidden under gross and grunts.

Interestingly, the opposite is true with Solomon’s comparison.:

A beautiful woman who lacks discretion
    is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.

In this example, we have all the beautiful trappings on the outside hiding what’s really within.  Now, here’s a guy with more than a little experience—something like 700 wives and 300 pseudo-wives.  I’m sure he had his share of less-than-discreet, (not to mention the hormonal drama…gag!)  Plus, consider that being in such a position of social and political power put him at higher risk when it came to the consequences of indiscretion.

Because it wasn’t merely about what she wore (or didn’t wear), but also about how she saw herself in relation to those around her.  A woman of true discretion knows that she has a “hidden congregation”, areas of influence, some of which she is aware, and some not.  By inference, this means people are watching and listening,…and learning.  

It also means that her decisions, her responses, her words, are a reflection on those who are dear to her, to their reputations as well.  How does what I say and do honor my husband and children, my parents, other Christians, and more importantly, my Lord?

people-2587456_1920Once again, as usual, it’s not just about me.  I may not be a king’s wife, but I am a King’s daughter.  (And with or without the gold ring of beauty, I have a crown.)

Proverbs 11:22 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.


How Do YOU Respond To Correction?

Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. -Proverbs 9:8‭-‬9, KJV

Schooling

I taught 7th Grade mathematics last year. There were a handful of students who, whenever corrected or disciplined, would lash out. One in particular said he hated me. Who was I to tell him how to live his life?

Most of the students in the class reacted negatively to correction, to be honest, but a few (and eventually more) saw the benefits of following through with the correction. Somehow, I became the favorite teacher of many students.

The Church

Now look at the yourself and even others in the Church. When presented with biblical truth about sin, what is the response?

If your reaction is to lash out, deny, or get angry, ask yourself, Why? If it is not true, why get upset?

Fighting a correction can cost more than listening, such as hurt/broken relationships and/or wasted time.

The wise person wants to change, for the goal is to be Christ-like, perfect as God is perfect. You may even find you love that person more for helping you grow closer to Christ.

That is not possible if we continue in sin.

Refusing to even acknowledge the need for correction could imply you are heading the opposite direction, and you come to hate those who offered the correction.


Honoring Mothers

My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: – Proverbs 6:20 

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, but today is the last day in Proverbs chapter six. Therefore, I thought I would go ahead and give a little shout-out to my mom, Marie Baker. I thank God for her and for her wise counsel. I could have been a completely different person without a godly mother like her.

To her credit, I don’t think my mother would have turned out the way she did had it not been for her own godly mother, Lorene Cagle, my granny.

Then there was my dad’s mom, Mary (Hughes) Baker. She was an interesting woman to have as a grandmother…half Cherokee, the wife of a tractor-driving moonshiner, and one who threatened to “wear me out” if I ever got into a fight I didn’t win. She might not have been the “godliest” woman, but nevertheless I remember some of her advice to this day.

1941 Bunting Glider

Just this week I finished restoring a vintage 1940’s-era front-porch glider. The glider has been in my family (on my dad’s side) since it was new, but it had fallen into disrepair after years of neglect and exposure to the elements. I kept track of the restoration project with photos I posted on Facebook, noting the effort was an act of love for Mother’s Day.

I finished it on Friday, and my mom was completely thrilled with the result.

This morning I recorded a sermon to be aired on the radio tomorrow afternoon. Believe it or not, I preached from this very chapter, specifically from Proverbs 6:20-23. The main point that I tried to make was how godly and wise instruction from a wise and godly mother can make a huge difference in our lives.

We are told to “bind” the instruction of our fathers and mothers to hearts, even to tie them around our necks (v.21). The reason for this is pretty simple…

When you walk here and there, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; when you wake up, they will talk to you. For a command is a lamp, teaching is a light, and corrective discipline is the way to life. – Proverbs 6:22-23 CSB

How valuable are the teachings of a godly mother? Think about it:

  • Wherever you roam, no matter how far you go, a mother’s guidance can give direction, keeping you from dangerous paths.
  • Sleep can be peaceful, restful, and restorative when you lie your head down knowing you’ve done things correctly, have no regrets, have confidence in the future, and know you’re loved.
  • As you go through your day, as you face new circumstances, the godly wisdom of a godly and wise mother will surface in your memory, giving you the sense that you’re not alone in the decisions you must make.

How many lives have been shattered on the rocks of misfortune, all because they didn’t listen to their mothers?

“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”
-Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President

When all the matriarchs in my life are gone on, and one day when I’ve passed on to my own heavenly reward, I hope my children will remember the impact my mother and grandmothers made on my life.

Maybe they’ll think about them as they sit on that old, front-porch glider.