Category Archives: Parenting

Get a Job! Or 3 or 4!

Proverbs 13:4

“The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.”

“I’m Gonna…”

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard people say, “I’m gonna (do this or that).” I have heard grand schemes, everything from opening a new business, to joining the military, to inventing a never-before-heard-of product that will revolutionize the world. Yet, nothing ever gets done.

The “sluggard” is a man or woman that is flat-out lazy. The word comes from the idea of calling a person a slug, or a snail. But at least a snail is usually on his way somewhere, albeit slowly. The sluggard does nothing but talk of plans in the works, but work is never seen.

Get a Job!

Just today I was talking with a mother of a grown man out of work. He constantly takes from her, then runs off until the money is gone. He abuses her property, never gives her respect, and tries to play “daddy” with a girl who is not his wife. And when it comes to work, he complains that he can’t find a job. Baloney…Hogwash…Cow feces!

I thank God for allowing my wife and I to hit rock bottom years ago. I went from making a large income to making nothing. Just to put food on the table and keep a roof over my family’s heads, I (and my wife) did everything from deliver news papers, to clean toilets in factories. I delivered pizza, worked on a dangerous assembly line, and even sold insurance. At one point I was working 3-4 jobs at one time!

You see, the lazy sluggard has big desires, but won’t take responsibility and work for it. The diligent will do whatever it takes.

Little Patience

Today’s proverb reminds me of how little patience I have for “sluggards.” In my opinion there is no excuse for someone to sit on his duff and whine about what he doesn’t have. A real man will work, even if it is not the type of work he prefers. It is his responsibility, especially if he has a family.

Some want to use the “system” as an excuse for laziness. Others want to blame the government or the “bourgeoisie.” But in reality, the only one to blame is the one who desires something, but does nothing honest to obtain it. Honest, hard work is the answer to a great deal of society’s woes.

“But, there are no good jobs!” you may say. Sorry, washing dishes is a job. Cleaning floors is a job. And, if you do both at the same time, along with getting tips from waiting tables, you can live without mooching off your mother.

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” – 1 Timothy 5:8

The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.” – Ecclesiastes 5:12

Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.” – Ephesians 4:28

Thus sayeth the Lord: “Get a job.”

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Consider Your Words

Proverbs 10:32

“The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.”

Think Before You Speak

The power of words and the language we use should never be under-estimated. Words can build up or words can destroy. A wise and righteous person thinks before speaking, and chooses his or her words carefully. A foolish or wicked person rarely stops to think, and words fall out of his or her mouth like tiny bombs that inflict all kinds of damage.

When I think back to my childhood I remember hearing words that shaped me. Call a child stupid enough times and he or she will grow up believing that they are stupid. My year four teacher at junior school made it clear that she didn’t like me, and that she thought that I was no good. I was eight years old. I knew I could never please this woman of harsh words, so I gave up trying. But I didn’t just give up trying in her class. I gave up trying for a long time, and never really enjoyed school again. I left school at sixteen.

Worse Than Profanities

Words spoken without thought, and especially those spoken with evil intent, are worse than profanities. Most children are brought up not to use profanities. My father would have punished me if he had heard me swear. But I have heard many words that are worse than profanities. Any word spoken with the intention of causing hurt, for instance. Why use words designed to cause pain, when words could be used instead to encourage family members, colleagues at work, friends in church, and friends outside the church? Sadly, it is all too easy to say the wrong thing.

The Bible teaches us to be encouragers, and provides many examples. These include Moses and Joshua, Samuel and David, Elijah and Elisha, Jesus and His disciples, Paul and many of the early evangelists who accompanied him on his travels. Most of these relationships also contained a significant element of mentoring. These were intentional relationships in which one person sought to build up and encourage another, the aim being to help and enable the other person to fulfill their God-given potential.

Stop a moment and take a brief look at your own life. Consider the words spoken to you and the words you say to others. Who is encouraging you, who is an encouragement to you, and who are you encouraging? Could God be pointing you into a mentoring relationship?


Mr. Mischief

Proverbs 10:23

“It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.”

Sporting Excellence

My children love sport. They have all worked hard in their time to gain places on school and other teams, and one made it to county level in rugby. A certain amount of dedication is required to achieve high standards in sport. There are many training sessions to attend if players are to have a chance of making the team. There is also a significant parental contribution in terms of driving children to and from training sessions and matches. Although providing transport is part of parenting, I have always welcomed the opportunity to watch my children playing sport.

The Sport of Mischief

It is an interesting concept to consider mischief (described as evil conduct in the NIV) to be a sport, particularly given the amount of effort required to compete effectively in any sport. If mischief were a sport then would it feature at the Olympic Games? The fact that mischief did not show its face at the recent London Olympics is more than certainly due to the wisdom shown in the security measures taken prior to and during the Olympics. The threat of mischief was ever present, but the Games passed virtually without incident, because the authorities were prepared, and despite being badly let down by the security guarding contractor.

The Wisdom of Understanding

If a man or woman of understanding has wisdom then that wisdom needs to be used, especially when it comes to fools making mischief. Wisdom requires us to understand that there is a threat, and to acknowledge the risk from those who treat mischief as a sport. We will find them in our schools and colleges, in our workplaces, and in our churches. Scripture warns us to be alert.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8 NIV)

And I will keep on doing what I am doing in order to cut the ground from under those who want an opportunity to be considered equal with us in the things they boast about. For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve. (2 Corinthians 11:12-15 NIV)


Need a Rod?

Proverbs 10:13

“In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.”

Whack On the Head

One of my favorite television shows of all time has been NCIS. I love the combination of drama, action, and genuine humor that is so characteristic of each episode. The characters in this crime drama have become almost like family over the years. And when I read verse thirteen, I thought of two of the main characters, Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and Tony DiNozzo (Michael Weatherly).

So many times, when DiNozzo says or does something inappropriate, Gibbs is famous for coming up behind DiNozzo and whacking him on the head (as a form of endearment, of course). Instead of getting a “rod” to the back, DiNozzo gets a palm to the back of his skull, all because he said something stupid.

I’ve Heard it Said

I have heard it said somewhere that the less you say, the smarter you appear. Likewise, the more one runs his mouth, the more ignorant he appears, not to mention how obnoxious he becomes. Have you ever met a person like that? Someone who thinks he knows everything, but is “void of understanding?”

People love to hear the words from the genuinely knowledgeable. In their words wisdom can be found. Good can come from listening to one who has experience in a matter. People may even seek him out to hear him speak.

On the other hand, people tire quickly of the one who thinks he is an expert. He has no wisdom, only pride. This man constantly offers his advice on anything and everything from love to lampshades, even though he has never been in a relationship and he’s a filament short of a light bulb. Solomon essentially says that this man is asking for a beating.

The Back Saver

Having been in ministry a while, I have visited my fair share of hospitals, jails, and prisons; not to mention broken homes and funeral homes. In so many of those places there are people who have suffered from the result of foolishness. Void of wisdom, they suffer the consequences of their actions. Yet, when offered help, they speak again of things they refuse to understand.

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him (Proverbs 22:15 ESV). That leads me to believe that wisdom in the mouth of an adult could be a back saver.


A Fool Is a Fool

Proverbs 9:9

“Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.”

A Different Angle

There are various commentaries that center on what is obvious about this proverb. However, what if we looked at it from a different angle? Let’s try to imagine it being written a little differently.

“Give betrayal, deceit, deception, falsehood, lie, misinformation, and misrepresentation (all antonyms of instruction) to a fool, and he will be yet more foolish: don’t teach a man, and he will increase in ignorance.”

When you look at it this way, do you see a contrast between the wise and foolish man? Do you sense any difference, other than what’s on the surface?

A Different Reaction

Given betrayal, deceit, deception, falsehood, lies, misinformation, and misrepresentation, what would the wise man do? Would he become foolish? “Give instruction to a wise man,” we are told, and he will become even wiser; but will his character be changed if given the opposite?

The real truth of Proverbs 9:9 is that no matter what instruction you give a fool, unless he has been transformed, he will always be a fool. Give instruction of any kind, true or false, to a wise man and he will be able to discern between good and evil. The key is whether or not the student loves Wisdom.

A Different Response

As a parent, I know that I will not always be able to manage what my children learn. One day they will go out into the world and receive instruction written by fools, for fools. But even in the midst of all that deception and falsehood, truth can be found. The key to success will be determined by instilled character and training in “the way [they] should go” (Prov. 22:6).

As believers, we should pray that God give us His Wisdom in ever-increasing portions. Because truth is so hard to find, we need Wisdom to give us discernment, allowing us to grow in wisdom, despite the misinformation of the world.

They say “the rich get richer, but the poor get poorer.” Profound observation, isn’t it?


“Cut it!”

Proverbs 8:1-2

Doth not wisdom cry? and understanding put forth her voice? She standeth in the top of high places, by the way in the places of the paths.”

“Cut it! Cut it!”

The thought of losing a child is one that no parent ever wants to entertain. Having more than one die is almost unthinkable. But to have them die in front of your eyes while you’re helpless to intervene is the stuff of nightmares.

In February of 2012, in the little town of Altamont, TN, the nightmare came true. Below are excerpts from the news story written by reporter Joy Lukachick:

Calvin and Nicholas had driven their go-kart down a short, grassy slope near the side of their home on Northcutts Cove Road, according to a Tennessee Highway Patrol report. As the go-kart reached the two-lane county road — only a short way from their house — and the boys started to drive across it, an Oldsmobile was coming up a small hill in their direction. Neither the boys nor the driver of the car, a 30-year-old woman, saw each other, the report shows. The Keeners were standing outside their house and could see the car coming, said Joyce Myers, a neighbor who lives across the street. The parents began screaming, “Cut it! Cut it!” trying to get the boys to turn the wheel before reaching the road, but the boys couldn’t hear over the noise of the go-kart’s engine…

[When neighbors came to the scene] Wanda Keener was cradling her 4-year-old son, Calvin, in her arms. He was bloody and not moving. Keener’s husband, Wesley, was lying on the road next to his 11-year-old son, Nicholas, who was trapped inside the go-kart.

Wisdom Cries Out

Can you not sense a little of the helpless terror that swept over those two parents as they watched their children drive down that hill? Can you feel the pain in your throat as you imagine how hard they screamed? On a hill they cried out, but to no avail. Two young lives had no idea what was about to happen.

Yet, Wisdom stands upon the high places and cries out to us. Wisdom says “Turn! Turn!Turn from your wicked ways!” But too many can’t hear (or won’t listen) over the noise of their own entertainment.

Oh, that we would listen; oh, that we would “cut it” before it’s too late.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. – Pro. 3:6


Brazen Church Girl

Proverbs 7:13-15

“So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.”

One of the greatest myths is that all church-going girls are “good” girls. These verses are a good example. Not only has this woman been waiting in the dark for her prey, she is openly religious, and uses her surface piety to lure the fool. But let’s break down these verses one at a time.

“So she caught him, and kissed him..”

Look who is the aggressor; it’s not the man. Conventional wisdom (not godly wisdom) has taught us that men are always the aggressor and that women should be wary. However, there are plenty of young women, as young as middle school, who know exactly what they want, and how to get it. Consider the words of this mother…

“I have a very outgoing, charming, attractive 15-year-old son. I have literally been chasing the girls away from the door ever since the seventh grade. … The aggressiveness and promiscuity of young girls nowadays is beyond words. Their dress is so alluring and inviting to a young man, what’s a guy to do? Moreover, what’s a mom to do?” (source, Family Life Today)

“Impudent face…”

It is amazing how people can look you right in the eye and tell a bold-face lie. That is what this woman was doing. The Hebrew word translated here as “impudent” could also be translated as brazen. She just looked this naive boy in the face and told him what he wanted to hear.

“Peace offerings…vows…found thee.” 

It is obvious in verses 14 and 15 that something doesn’t add up. Why is it that a woman of the night would be telling this young man about how she went to church? Oh, it’s pretty simple, really. She was just saying what a good Jewish boy wanted to hear.

Here was the total, irresistible package: a young, gorgeous and religious woman calling out to be rescued from breaking the Law. “I am so glad I found you! You’re the answer to my prayers! This must be God’s will,” she essentially said.

In the Old Testament, when a peace offering was made, the leftover meat was to be eaten that night, and no later (Lev. 7:15). She presented her case in such a way that said, “We have to do this now!” She played to his religious chivalry.

When this woman grabbed the man, kissed him, lied to him, and trapped him, she did it with everything that said: “This must be a good girl – she’s only trying to do the right thing – and she likes me!” I can almost imagine him repeating the words of an old Debbie Boone song, “This can’t be wrong when it feels so right.”

A Prayer

Oh, Lord God, open our eyes to the tricks of the Enemy! Give us the wisdom we need to discern between a treasure far above rubies (Prov. 31:10) and a trap. Help us to teach our sons and daughters to be godly. Help us to be parents who set the example.