Tag Archives: Father

Pleasing Dad, Despising Mom

Proverbs 15:20

A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.”

Following God?

On Sunday, January 9, 2000, I finally knelt my knee to Jesus as Savior, and I started my life with God.

In 2007, many things happened in my life. The biggest was that I started over with God. I asked Him to clean my heart and take me back to that place of innocence and trust, and I needed to start from scratch.

Unfortunately, some of the people with whom I chose to associate during this time led me down some less-than-traditional theological roads. I became convinced that God had revealed much truth to me (which He had), and I had a better understanding of His will than most people (this might be true in some sense, from time to time, from person to person, but …)

It was incredibly prideful of me to assume I had a better connection to God than others. My parents did not understand everything going on, and they panicked. On many points it was unnecessary (technically, it is never good to panic), but on many other points they had good reason. The called the pastor for the four of us to have a meeting.

While I said I loved my parents, my behavior of superiority showed how much I despised my parents and our pastor. I despised them by thinking of them as poor, misguided fools who understood little of God.

I despised my mother in my heart, and I was unaware.

Following God

I eventually came to my senses. God allowed so many things in my life that caused so much confusion and soul-searching. When I came back home months later, I apologized to my parents. Within a year I had straightened many of the things that had caused so much tension (and even introduced them to the woman now their daughter-in-law!).

It was a great joy to truly follow God and see my life straighten out. It has never been “perfect” or pain-free, but opening myself to following God instead “knowing” what God wanted led to great peace.

One of the greatest joys of my life came two years after that intervention. It was standing in the church at my wedding and seeing my dad smile as he said “I am so proud of you.”

Heavenly Father, help us to live a life worthy of You. Help us to love our parents, to treat them with respect and humility. Help us love others and live in a way that, when we finally see You face to face, we can hear You say “I am so proud of you!”


Wise Children of God

Proverbs 15:5

“A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.”

The Nightmare

I have one little girl that I would do absolutely anything for. I love her to death, and I only want what is best for her. There are things that, because I am older, I can see that might happen down the road in her life that she is not able to see. These things are what I want to help her avoid. Any parent understand this statement!

A true nightmare for me would be if I were to pour God’s Word into her life, and she wanted nothing to do with it or HIM and to have no part in any of the advice or wisdom that His Word gives us. This would be a nightmare! There are many people in this world that are experiencing this exact thing in their lives.  I can’t even begin to imagine what they are going through.

Don’t forget what Proverbs 10:1 says, “A wise son maketh a glad father; but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.” In other words, a wise son or daughter is going to listen to what their father has to say about God’s Word. A foolish son or daughter is going to bring much sorrow to their mother. That sorrow is what I am talking about being the nightmare that I hope none of us face.

WisdomTomato Is A Fruit

There is an assumption in this verse. The assumption is that the son has heard the instructions that the father has given him. This verse does not mention anything about understanding the instructions, but it does talk about being prudent or wise with the instructions given.

There is an old saying that goes like this, “The difference between understanding and wisdom is this – Understanding is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad”.

A wise son may not always understand the “why’s” of the instructions given, but he is wise enough to listen to the words of his father and heed them.

Let me take this a step further. As children of God, we may not always understand why God is allowing something to happen in our lives or we may not understand what God is doing, but what we must do is have the wisdom to know that God is in control and he only wants what is best for us!

Lord, help us to listen to the instructions given to each of us, and whether we understand them or not, help us to obey your commands.  Help us to be wise children of yours and listen to your counsel and advice on how we should live our lives.


Lego Lesson

Proverbs 12:15

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”

Let’s be honest, this is not a hard verse to understand, but extremely hard to follow. If a person thinks that they know it all, and that they have all the right answers, and that their way is better than everyone else’s, then they are pretty much a fool. Plain and simple! But before you get angry at me for saying this, don’t forget that these words are coming from the wisest man who ever walked on the earth.

The Fool

Many times as a teenager, my father would give me advice on how to handle situations that were coming up in my life. And as a very stupid kid, most of the time I did not listen to his wise counsel. Why? Because I thought that I knew how to handle the situation more than he did. I thought my way was right. I was too proud and thought that I knew what was best.

My father had every right to hand me the Bible and ask me to read about myself in Proverbs 12:15. I was a fool for not listening to his advice that he was willing to give to me to help me in tough times.

Oh, how I wish I had listen to my father!

A Lesson from Legos

Back in January of 2012 we celebrated my daughter’s 7th birthday. We had been asking her what she wanted for her birthday and she kept telling us Legos (a girl after my own heart!). A few months before, Lego came out with a new line of products just for girls called Lego Friends.

Well, her birthday came and we purchased her a part of the Lego Friends collection. We celebrated her birthday and the first thing she wanted to do was to open her new Legos and put them together.

I explained to her that it was very important that we read the instructions and follow each and every step. She promptly told me that she did not need my help and that she knew how to put everything together. I explained it to her again, but I got the same response.

I walked across the room from where she was gathering all of her pieces to put together and I sat there, watching her try to figure out where to start and what to do next. She got her instructions out and began to follow them step by step, until…

I had moved on to other things because she seemed to have everything under control. That was until I heard her scream for help. When I came into the room, she was trying to force a Lego into a section where it just did not want to go. She kept telling me, “This piece fits here, I just know it does”.

As I began to search out the problem, I realized that she had skipped several pages in the instruction manual and had just started to put pieces where she thought they needed to go. After a while, it caught up with her and caused problems.

Why did she have problems? Because she did not follow the instructions (advice or counsel) that were given to her. She thought her way was better!

Some of the best advice that I, or anyone else can give you is this, get advice! Get people in your life that are godly people and seek their counsel. Proverbs 24:6 says, “For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.”

Don’t be a fool, seek wise counsel!


Related to Wisdom

Proverbs 7:4-5

“Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.”

Related to Wisdom?

If you are struggling with the point Solomon is trying to make through Proverbs, here it is plain as day:

The Wisdom of God is very, very, very, very, very important!

It is so important, we are told in today’s passage that wisdom should be considered our sister and understanding our close relative.

In almost every family, it is they who know “you” best. Whether it is your parents, your siblings, or your wife, only your best friend might know you better (which is why it is good for your spouse to be your best friend).

What God Says About You

God has several things to say about you:

God created you and knows you better than anyone else in all of Creation. God also has your back:

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

God’s wisdom and understanding is so great that it can save us from any temptation – whether it is a woman, a man, food, entertainment, drugs, alcohol, etcetera – because God knows what we can handle, what we are unable to handle, and the best way for us to escape when our own stupidity leads us into whatever confronts us.

Heavenly Father, grant us your wisdom and understanding that we may escape temptation. Give us the wisdom to live righteously and the understanding to know when we are tempted. Show us the way out when we become trapped by our own desires. Above all, may we be used to bring glory to Your Name!


Take Heed

Proverbs 6:20

“My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:”

Recap

In the first few days, Proverbial Thoughts centered around practical warnings to each of us on how we should handle certain things such as:

The last few days Solomon was talking in verses 12-19 about “the wicked man” and how there are seven things that are an abomination to the Lord.

Today’s “Thought” begins to take the conversation back to a more practical warning to us about the topic of adultery.

Pay Attention To A Father’s Commandment

I have always had a difficult time paying attention. I know that this is not going to surprise anyone that knows me very well. I am very easily sidetracked with things that come my way. I will be in the middle of one project, then something else catches my attention and off I go.

Solomon begins verse 20 the same way he has started several other verses in the book of Proverbs, with a plea – “My son, keep your father’s commandments”. Solomon is telling us to pay attention, or to focus on the Word of God.  In a few days, we will be discussing verse 23 and how “the commandment” or the Word of God is a lamp and the teaching of light.

Heard vs. Heeded

If Solomon’s house was anything like mine growing up, then Solomon’s whole family heard the gospel. As a young child, we were always in church (whenever the doors were open – we where there!). My father has been in christian radio for over 40 years and the radio was always playing either christian songs or there was a preacher preaching – so God’s Word was heard.

But God does not want us to just hear the Word! No, He wants us to hear it and then do it! James 1:22 tells us,

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

Solomon is telling his son, you know the commandments of God’s Word – now KEEP THEM!

A Mother’s Teaching

The first President of the United States of America, George Washington, had this to say about his mother:

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”

Just about all of us can look back when we were younger and hear our mother giving us advice on how to do this or that. I can still hear my mother telling me that “you better be careful” or “I’m not so sure I would do it that way”.

Solomon is telling us in verse 20 to not only keep your father’s commandments but don’t stray away from what your mother taught you when you were younger!

Conclusion

In today’s society, we need more fathers and mothers to sit down with their children and simply say – pay attention to what I am teaching you from God’s Word! Listen to what we have to say and it will benefit you greatly!

Lord, please help me to be a father that is in your Word.  To be a father that is willing to take the next step and apply it to my life and then teach it to my daughter. Lord, use us to teach the next generation about you!


Celebrating His Coming: Thoughts for the 3rd Week of Advent – Day 6

Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil;
And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.
-Hebrews 2:14-15, KJV

construction destruction power steel

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Through Mary came the first Advent of our Lord Jesus Christ – who, although He had the form of God, considered equality with God something to be grasped and therefore emptied Himself to take on the form of a servant (Philippians 2:6-7), took on flesh and blood to become one of us to take on our penalty for sin.

I will repeat it again, as I have in the past: the entire reason Jesus came was to die to remove our sin!

So, now we have a great joy, for we know that in His first coming Jesus overcame death and defeated the one who held the power to hold us in fear of death.

We have joy, because our enemies – death and the Devil – are defeated. The battles rage on, for now, but the war was won 2000 years ago, when Jesus smashed through Satan’s hold on us and made us children of God.

Lord of all, fill us with Your joy this season and all seasons as we remember what You have done for us.


Celebrating His Coming: Thoughts for the 3rd Week of Advent – Day 3

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.
But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins.
Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,
Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:
And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name Jesus. -Matthew 1:19-25, KJV

advent apple balls basin

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With Jesus’ first advent, we can not forget that His mother was yet unmarried at His conception . . . but she was betrothed to be married.

Just as Mary sought understanding about how she could be able to conceive without a man, Joseph wanted to do the right thing, and understanding was needed.

He had the understanding that Mary had cheated on him, because that was the obvious perception. Being an upright individual, he planned to discretely break up with her to prevent her having too much shame. It took God sending an angel to correct him, to see that God had indeed made this pregnancy happen to bring about the coming salvation of God’s people. He quickly changed his mind, and married Mary, even knowing he would have to wait until Jesus was born “to know her” and that it might even bring ridicule on himself, as well. (Either it appeared Mary was unfaithful, or that they had not waited until their wedding.)

Likewise, we should be slow to assume things about people based on appearances and ready to show grace and love toward them. We may go against what everyone else is saying and make ourselves look silly or “condoning of sin,” but it is what our Lord and His earthly parents did.

And claiming He is coming again looks foolish to our fallen world. (See 2 Peter 3) Following Jesus has a cost. (See Luke 14:25-33)

Lord, help us to be faithful servants who love the unlovable, as You did us, and to proclaim Your coming again!