Tag Archives: discipline

Buddy or Parent?

Proverbs 13:24

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Since 2005, I have not only served at my church as Worship Pastor but I have also held the position of Children’s Pastor. Because of the structure of our children’s program, I have volunteers that are mostly dealing with the children on a week to week basis. I have found that I am begin to work more and more with the parents of these children.

I had a mom come to me a few years ago and she told me that her and her husband were having problems with their daughter not wanting to obey them. They said that they had tried just about everything and nothing seemed to work. I asked them how they disciplined their daughter when she disobeyed them and I was astonished by the response.

Her response was this: I don’t want to punish her because I want her to like me and if I punish her then she will not like me!

HUH? What kind of sense that does that make? I told them that their daughter does not need a “buddy” but a “parent”!

This Is Going To Hurt Me More Than You

As I was growing up, you could say that I had my fair share of spankings. Well, to be perfectly honest, I had a whole lot more than my fair share. My father always joked with me that each morning he was going to just go ahead and spank me because he was sure that I would earn it at some point during the day.

Before either my father or my mother would spank me, they would always say, “This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you.” I would always have the same thought go through my head – your not the one getting a spanking. How in the world is this going to hurt you more? It was not until I had a little girl of my own that I was able to have this question answered.

The Reason

After every spanking, my parents would take out their Bible and show me from God’s Word why they were disciplining me. They would turn to Proverbs 13:24 and read to me the words of Solomon. The reason that it hurt them more and the reason they disciplined me is that they loved me! They were not disciplining me because they wanted to be some kind of ruling tyrant, no, they were doing it because they loved me. The NIV says our verse this way, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

If we are children of God, why does HE discipline us? Because HE loves us! Revelation 3:19 says, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”

I praise the Lord for parents who disciplined me. Who took the time to tell me right from wrong; the good from the bad. Oh how I wish parents today would discipline their children the way my parents did me.

Lord, I pray that you would help me to love my child more and more each day. I pray that you would cause that love to discipline her when it is needed.  Help me to be the father that I need to be for my daughter so that I can train her according to Your Word.

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Resolving Resolutions (10:8)

While going through and organizing things on the site to make it easier for all to find thoughts, Anthony noticed we may have missed a verse!

The wise in heart will receive commandments: but a prating fool shall fall. -Proverbs 10:8, KJV

If you have been reading our site for any extended amount of time, you know that I greatly enjoy digging into the deeper truths and how Christ can be found in each verse.

Today, however, I will not be focusing on how the wise find Christ in the Bible while others claim other wisdom or how foolish this idea is. (There it is!)

Instead, this is going out on New Year’s Eve, and this verse is applicable today.

How many of us say each year “I am resolving to do this or that thing”? How many of us, year after year of promises, find ourselves failing mere weeks or even days into the new year?

This is not to say that making resolutions is necessarily bad. (Some people actually follow through on their resolutions!)

Rather, instead of constantly saying (prating on, if you will, like a resounding gong) how such and such will be done in the future, the wise look to the Bible and the Church to find how to change their lives, seek God’s help to make changes, and rely on His people to be held accountable through encouragement. (See 2 Timothy 3:16-17 and Hebrews 10:23-25)


Being Fruitful and Ready

Whoso keepeth the fig tree shall eat the fruit thereof: so he that waiteth on his master shall be honoured. -Proverbs 27:18, KJV

I could not help but think of Jesus’ parables here.

First was the fig tree He cursed in Matthew 21, which is a reminder to us that our Lord is coming and expects to find fruit of repentance and love in our lives.

Then are the parables of the virgins and the talents in Matthew 25, which are reminders to stay ready for His return and use the fruit He has planted in us, to not be lazy or unprepared. He has given his expectations and commands, and we are to be doing those things (read Matthew 28:18-20 for our shared mission).

Finally, Jesus finished chapter 25 talking of those servants who follow His will: those who care for the Masters house and other servants. If we think He is not coming soon and begin mistreating each other, it will show we are not His true servants and deserve the same punishment as those who were never a part of His household.

May we be found faithful and ready when our Lord returns!


When to Answer the Fool

Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit. -Proverbs 26:5, KJV

This is a fairly easy verse to understand: tell someone when they are doing something wrong, otherwise they may think they have it all figured out and are doing nothing wrong.

I could stop there, but perhaps some examples could help.

Children need to be told what is right and wrong, or they grow up thinking everything they do is okay and even good, if they survive! (My parents told me not to run I to the street, for example.)

A gossip will continue spreading lies and mistruths unless they are confronted and corrected.

Most importantly, people are on their way to Hell, thinking they are okay or even right in their beliefs, unless the Gospel is shared with them.

There are times to know when to stop and “shake the dust off your feet,” as mentioned in the previous verse or by Jesus Himself (Matthew 10, Luke 9, Mark 6). That is for another post!


Define free.

laptop-3087585_1920If you are reading this and you haven’t yet taken advantage the various WordPress University sites, I highly recommend you look into it!  First of all, they’re free. 

Well, okay, we all know what that means.  There is a cost somewhere to somebody.  Those who write for and administrate the courses have to get a paycheck somehow, and time is money.  So in the interest of accuracy, we’ll just say it’s FREE to those of us who take the courses.

Alright, try again.  There is no “pecuniary remuneration” on the part of the student, but one does need to invest a currency concerning which there is no refund—TIME.  To get out of the course, you have to dig, experiment, and try, try again.  These courses are intentional, at times frustrating, but to new writers, very rewarding.  As usual, you get out of it what you put into it. Continue reading


Your Christian Duty

It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter. -Proverbs 25:2, KJV

We are wise to remember that Jesus is the Son of God, and therefore He is God.

Jesus spoke in parables so that those who are willing to listen and see can find the truth, but those who are unwilling to listen and see the truth will ignore and even hate truth. (Matthew 13:10-17)

We are co-heirs with Christ, our King. (Romans 8:17) We are called priests – servants of God – but even a royal priesthood. (1 Peter 2)

As Audio Adrenaline put it, “boys become kings, girls will be queens,” so we are tasked with the honor of searching out the truths of God as revealed through Scripture.

Do not neglect your royal priestly duties as a Christian. Study the Word of God for yourself. Rely on those saints on whom we have the labors of faithful study that divulge the deep truths of the Bible. Go to church and be fed by your local shepherd and brothers and sisters in Christ.

Do not merely say a prayer and attend a church. Make your Christianity your own, and seek Christ with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

And then love your neighbor by sharing that truth. (Matthew 28:18-20)


Beware: Fierce lions in my yard

cat-2536662_1920“A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing.  One that sounds good, and a real one.”

That’s from the practical wisdom of J.P. Morgan, one of most influential bankers of the early 20th century. 

Of course, then there are those who are a bit more honest about their motivation, like Phyllis Diller:

“Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?”

On the one hand:

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
    The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.

On the other hand:

The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion out there!
    If I go outside, I might be killed!”

Why is one cautious person congratulated for being prudent while the other is vilified as a three-toed sloth?

It really all has to do with motive. 

The prudent (wise, forward-thinking) one “foresees”, meaning he’s diligently done his research and understands the probabilities (are lions endemic to this area?), and based on those probabilities, he may take his gun out with him and search the area before proceeding. 

The lazy person, by contrast, stays on the coach and opens another beer…because that’s what he really prefers to do.  Making excuses for his decision assuages his own conscience, regardless of how ridiculous those excuses seem.

In fact, humans are probably the only part of God’s creation who uses the art of rationalization, that finely tuned skill of making excuses, even deluding ourselves into thinking those excuses are true.  

Here’s interesting application: “I don’t read the Bible because I don’t understand it.”

I’m glad medical students don’t adhere to that philosophy: “I don’t read my A&P text because I don’t understand it.”  A student—a real one, that is—does something about their lack of understanding. 

And for my sake, I’m glad they do!

Proverbs 22:3,13  Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.


T-bones or corncobs?

bag-147782_1280I love the story of the Prodigal Son, on several layers.  Did you know that the word prodigal doesn’t mean “sinful”?  It means extravagant.  Wasteful.  Lavish.  I guess I didn’t know that until well into my adulthood.  The kid in the story certainly exemplifies the concept quite well.

But do you ever wonder why that father acquiesced to his son’s request for the early payout on his inheritance?  Maybe I just don’t know the Jewish custom back in that day, or maybe it isn’t relevant to the point Jesus was trying to make, because here’s the thing:

An inheritance obtained too early in life
    is not a blessing in the end.

This kid was in no way ready to handle his inheritance wisely.  His father had to know that, but handed over his intended wealth anyway and, well, we know the end result…something about trading T-bone steaks for empty corncobs.

Recent brain studies are telling us more about the frontal lobe of the human brain; in particular, how this part of our brain (which determines good judgment, actions/consequences, as well as being the reasonable brakes on otherwise impulsive emotions) does not fully mature—are you ready for this one?—until early to mid-twenties. 

I wonder how long it takes my spiritual frontal lobe to mature? 

Here’s an example: I heard a pastor say, (see? I really do listen!), that many times God intentionally withholds His blessing because we’re not ready to use it properly.  That this withholding is, in fact, God’s discipline preparing us to handle the blessing in the most sustainable way, in the way which produces the highest return to bless others and build His kingdom. 

Maybe instead of asking for blessing, I need to pray for disciplined maturity.  I think somehow the blessing will naturally follow.

Proverbs 20:21 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.


Take Me To Church!

Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom. -Proverbs 18:1 KJV

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. -Proverbs 18:1, ESV

This entry is on Sunday, the day most churches meet.

If you are not attending, why?

Do not forsake the meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing. -Hebrews 10:25

We have the biblical command to meet with other Christians regularly.

This does a few things:

  • Gives us opportunities to encourage each other (the rest of Hebrews 10:25)
  • Gives us opportunities to spur each other on to loving others and doing good works (Hebrews 10:24) It can be easy to only “seek his own desire” or be lazy apart from the Church.
  • Keeps us on the straight and narrow path (Hebrews 10:23). It can be easy to stray from sound doctrine and teachings. Why do you think there are so many cults and people who believe crazy things? (How many raptures have we survived in the last decade alone?)

It is important to meet with others, if for no other reason than to keep us from getting weird ideas.

Most importantly, being together helps us grow more Christ-like.

Therefore, take me to church!

Then I know you came to!


Be Kind

My wife and I have taught in schools. She has almost only ever taught Kindergarten (about 4 months of not in eight years), and I taught 7th Grade Mathematics and further back in Special Education.

I tell you what, working with a lot of kids can teach a lot about life! Especially how cruel and mean people can be.

A recent movement in the past few years is called “Be Kind”. The name is pretty self explanatory, and they do some good work helping teach students to simply be nice to each other.

Proverbs chapter 12 can be summarized this same way: Be Kind.

Think about it: it starts with advice for controlling yourself (discipline, vv. 1-4), transitions through recognizing it starts with our thoughts (vv. 5-8), moves to our actions toward others (including animals! vv. 9-12), and the majority focuses on what we say (vv. 13-26).

Words probably get the most time because of how much we tear each other down with our words. Sometimes it is unintentional.

But we must remember that kindness starts internally, with our thoughts and beliefs. So, to be kind means we start by changing our thinking, and ultimately it happens by trusting in God.

He first showed His kindness by coming to us lowly sinners to reveal truth and die for our forgiveness. The ultimate kindness is leading others to life in Christ.

The path of the righteous is life, and in its pathway there is no death.
Proverbs 12:28