Buddy or Parent?

Proverbs 13:24

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Since 2005, I have not only served at my church as Worship Pastor but I have also held the position of Children’s Pastor. Because of the structure of our children’s program, I have volunteers that are mostly dealing with the children on a week to week basis. I have found that I am begin to work more and more with the parents of these children.

I had a mom come to me a few years ago and she told me that her and her husband were having problems with their daughter not wanting to obey them. They said that they had tried just about everything and nothing seemed to work. I asked them how they disciplined their daughter when she disobeyed them and I was astonished by the response.

Her response was this: I don’t want to punish her because I want her to like me and if I punish her then she will not like me!

HUH? What kind of sense that does that make? I told them that their daughter does not need a “buddy” but a “parent”!

This Is Going To Hurt Me More Than You

As I was growing up, you could say that I had my fair share of spankings. Well, to be perfectly honest, I had a whole lot more than my fair share. My father always joked with me that each morning he was going to just go ahead and spank me because he was sure that I would earn it at some point during the day.

Before either my father or my mother would spank me, they would always say, “This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you.” I would always have the same thought go through my head – your not the one getting a spanking. How in the world is this going to hurt you more? It was not until I had a little girl of my own that I was able to have this question answered.

The Reason

After every spanking, my parents would take out their Bible and show me from God’s Word why they were disciplining me. They would turn to Proverbs 13:24 and read to me the words of Solomon. The reason that it hurt them more and the reason they disciplined me is that they loved me! They were not disciplining me because they wanted to be some kind of ruling tyrant, no, they were doing it because they loved me. The NIV says our verse this way, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

If we are children of God, why does HE discipline us? Because HE loves us! Revelation 3:19 says, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”

I praise the Lord for parents who disciplined me. Who took the time to tell me right from wrong; the good from the bad. Oh how I wish parents today would discipline their children the way my parents did me.

Lord, I pray that you would help me to love my child more and more each day. I pray that you would cause that love to discipline her when it is needed.  Help me to be the father that I need to be for my daughter so that I can train her according to Your Word.