Tag Archives: Wife

Taking Care

Proverbs 31:27

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Dutifully Looking After

As we continue our look at the virtuous, godly wife, we see that she takes care of her home.

She makes sure her family is taken care of, that the chores are taken care of, that obligations are taken care of, and everything is in order.

“[She] eateth not the bread of idleness.” She does not see the mess in the living room and think, “That can wait.” Instead, she makes sure it gets picked up. She does not see the dishes in the sink and think, “I will do that after dinner.” She knows that putting something off until later generally keeps things put off until later.

I also think that all of this means that she knows when to put aside all of the work that needs to be down around the house and have some fun and share some love with her family. The cleaning and remembering to get things done keep the house in order, but she knows her family (and friends!) need attention, too.

The Loving Bride

As the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ, the Church, we must remember to take care of our household. This is why having at least a basic understanding of church history and theology is important.

Just as we would not allow a sexual predator near our children, we do not want bad teaching about God to take hold.

Just as we would not allow our children to run out into a busy street, we do not want bad teaching about holy living leading people astray.

We cannot allow these to last long, because once they are entrenched in church culture and understanding, they are nearly impossible to get out. For evidence of this, just look at what happened within the Church in the past couple centuries to see all of the division and disagreement.

Heavenly Father, give us wisdom and endurance to care for each of our households. Help us keep our family strong and safe and Your Church strong and holy.


Ready and Willing

Proverbs 31:17

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. (KJV)
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. (NIV)

Not Lazy and Ready

As we continue looking at the noble wife (or any woman, really), we see that she is not lazy.

She girdeth her loins with strength …” or “She sets about her work vigorously …I”
She prepares herself for what she must do each day, and she does not wait to get started.

… and strengtheneth her arms” or “her arms are strong for her tasks.
She can do what she needs to do because she has prepared herself. She is ready for surprises because she can handle them.

It takes a level of excitement and a lot of love to prepare yourself and take care of your family and friends. This is the crux of the matter.

Ready and Willing

Jesus prepared the way for His Bride to succeed, as well. Through His ministry, death, and resurrection, Jesus set the stage for the Church with love and a level of excitement.

As the Church, we must make sure we are prepared and strong. This takes regular time reading the Bible, in prayer, and talking with our brothers and sisters in Christ. This opens our hearts and minds to the power of the Holy Spirit, Christ in us, to fulfill our tasks and be ready for anything.

May our love for Christ compel us to be prepared and strong. Then we are better prepared for and stronger in our other relationships, including as husband and wife.

Great Lord and Loving Friend, thank You for preparing and strengthening us. Help us to trust in Your wisdom and strength, and may we continually seek more strength and wisdom.

The Diligent Woman

Proverbs 31:10,15.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies… She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.” (KJV). 

The Virtuous Woman:

As we continue through Proverbs 31:10-31, we learn more and more about the ideal virtuous woman. We have already learned that this virtuous woman is valuable (v.10), she is trusted by her husband (v.11), she does good to her husband (v.12), she works hard with her hands (v.13), and she goes the distance to get what her family needs (v.14). In today’s passage, we learn another important fact about this virtuous woman: She is diligent and takes care of her family.

The Diligent Woman:

There are two things that King Lemuel teaches us about the perfect Proverbs 31 woman in this passage: She rises while it is yet night, and she provides food for her household. The fact that she rises while it is yet night tells us that she is diligent: She is not a lazy woman who lies around watching soap operas and eating bonbons (whatever bonbons are!). Rather, she gets up in the morning to take care of her duties in the household.

Secondly, we learn that she provides food for her household. In other words, she takes care of her family. Now, this is not in any way to say that a woman must be a homemaker while her husband has a job outside of the house. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have a career and be in the workforce making a living. However, whether she stays at home or has a job outside of the house, the point is that she contributes her part to taking care of the family – just as her husband also should.

Over and over in the Scriptures, God commends hard work and diligence and condemns laziness and slothfulness. A good wife is diligent and does her part to build her household.

… Happy Life

Proverbs 31:11

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. (KJV)
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. (ESV)

Happy Wife …

Perhaps you have heard that saying “Happy wife, happy life.”

Personally, I disagree slightly, and, you can ask my wife, I rewrote it: “Better a holy wife than a happy wife.”

Temporary displeasure for the sake of holiness is better than happiness that is based on lies or misunderstandings which lead to mistrust.

Neither of us lets the other get away with simple platitudes or quick answers (though the occasional playful joke does happen!) We help each other to grow more Christ-like. We are not perfect, but the focus is on Christ.

The wonderful thing about this is that we have complete trust in each other.

I know that I can trust my wife in anything. Even if we were to “lose everything” and become homeless, as long as I have her my life is complete.

Holy Bride

Our Lord never promised this life would be easy. In fact, He warned us in John 16:33 that we “will have trouble” if we follow Him.

He has been preparing His Bride, the Church, for His return. Sometimes He rebukes, and often times He encourages (look at Revelation 2-3). He does not necessarily want a Bride that is happy if that happiness gets in the way of the relationship.

He seeks perfection, which can only be found in Him, and He has confidence that His Bride will achieve the mission He has given (Matthew 28:18-20) because He is always there to help us. Our life is complete with Him, and He wants to have us with Him forever. That is what is truly of value.

Loving Savior and Bridegroom, thank You for Your love. Fill us with a desire for You, for Your Bride the Church, and for each other. Strengthen our marriages and our other relationships with a love that refuses to compromise or settle.

Good Gifts

Proverbs 19:14

“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

Gifts from our fathers

Everyone either looks forward to or dreams of suddenly finding out they are part of some inheritance.

It usually requires someone dying (though, the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) shows it is not always necessary), but an inheritance usually comes in the form of a house or money.

There are other forms of inheritance.

The downside is that we can inherit genetic and behavioral qualities, but we may also inherit good qualities.

My parents instilled in me a strong work ethic and commitment to loved ones, and that passed over into my Christian walk, as well. They were only strengthened by the working of the Holy Spirit.

Love and dedication are a great gift to receive from your father (and mother!)

A gift from our Father

No matter what our parents teach us, there is only one way to get a greater gift.

God has blessed me with the most perfect wife, beyond even what I ever dreamed.

This is amazing, because, while we have great families, we come from histories of alcohol abuse and emotional issues. Both of us could have easily followed in so many footsteps of our genetic predecessors for generations back: eating disorders, substance abuse, emotional issues, unwise financial/life decisions, and so one.

Instead, God has helped us both overcome in so many ways (and still helps us to this day), and we are only able to have the strong marriage we have because of His help.

That is the real gift of God: a prudent spouse is one who knows the need for Christ and submits to His leadership. A prudent spouse helps the other out of love for each other and Christ.

Gracious God, thank You for helping us overcome this world. Help us to be good stewards of what You have given us and help us to understand they are gifts from You. For those of us gifted with wise and prudent spouses, give us the wisdom and passion to appreciate and be a helper to our spouses to the glory of Your name!

Be the Good Wife

Proverbs 12:4

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”

Two Paths

I was engaged to be married once, before I met my wife.

The Ex

There were a lot of good qualities about my ex-fiancé, such as being intelligent, beautiful, and creative. She also had some qualities that were not so good, and we were not a good match.

During our relationship, we both walked dangerous paths. We drank a lot of alcohol, together and separately, much of the time. We got into smoking many things (all of the legal variety). We began “sleeping together” about half way through our relationship. We became bitter, even mean toward others and eventually ourselves.

That relationship wore me out: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I call much of our relationship “the time I should not have called myself a Christian,” because … well … read Galatians 5:19-21. My ex and I either considered or did almost everything on that list.

My Wife

When I met the woman who became my wife, we did things differently.

The relationship began with a promise of purity and a dedication to God. Even when we are angry with each other (yes, it happens in good relationships, too!) we still find good things to say to each other. (To be honest, our “fights” last mere moments, and our anger subsides in even less time … often instantly)

We lift each other up in prayer, worship God together, and find ourselves sacrificing in some way for the other on a regular basis … only to receive the greater blessing of joy and happiness, as we both enjoy much of the same things, anyway!

This may not be the exact picture of all strong couples, but there will always be similarities.

The Church

Now consider this: Jesus Christ has called the Church His Bride (As evidenced in Ephesians 5 and Revelation 21-22).

How do you treat the Husband?

Do you lift up and bless? Or, do you cause shame and bitterness?

O God, strengthen our relationships with love and grace. Give us the wisdom to know when a relationship is healthy or not. Guide us in all righteousness that we may bless You with our lives.



The Heartless Thief

Proverbs 6:32-33

“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.”

In verses 30 and 31 Solomon talked about a starving man. He said, “Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry.” But there is a huge difference between a man who will steal food and a man who will steal another’s wife.

Difficult Words

I have lost track of how many times I have written and deleted words, sentences, and whole paragraphs. Finding the right words for today’s “thought” has proven quite difficult. Why is that? Could it be because it’s late as I write this? Could it be that I am in a writer’s slump? Should I have let Jason Sneed write this post, instead?

Maybe the real reason I am having a hard time finding the right words is linked to verse 33. My disgust for the sin of adultery is making it hard for me to remain calm. Thinking about the excuses so many give for this crime makes me sick. Unlike the man who steals food to survive (v. 30), men do despise the adulterer.

No Heart

What kind of man commits adultery? Many do it because they say they couldn’t help themselves. Many blame others for their sin. But if the truth be known, an intriging word in verse 32 may hold a vital clue. That word is “understanding.”

When I asked my wife to describe for me what she thought “lacketh understanding” meant, she said, “An adulterer is a person who doesn’t understand what he is doing – he doesn’t comprehend the consequences – he’s clueless.” Yet, when I went to the original languages I found something else.

The word translated “understanding” in verse 32 is the Hebrew word leb (Strong’s H3820). More often than not, this word is used to describe the “inner part” of man, such as his heart, his soul, or his conscience. As a matter of fact, out of the 593 times this word is found in the Authorized Version, it is translated “understanding” only 10 times. It is translated “heart” 508 times.

What my wife suggested may be true, but it may also be true that an adulterer, a man that takes another man’s wife, is a man that has no “heart.” In other words, he doesn’t care who he hurts. All he cares about is getting what he wants – not what he needs.

Is it any wonder this man is worthy of dishonor and reproach?

Final Thought

Not all crimes deserve the same punishment. And even thought sin is sin, the consequences are not all the same. Galatians 6:7 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Stealing bread and stealing sex are totally different seeds.