Tag Archives: Adultery

Is This You?

Proverbs 7:11

“She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:”

Do you know this kind of person?

Solomon is telling us about that wayward woman, the adulteress. But do you know someone like this?

This is the person who seems to struggle with speaking with an “inside voice” and has to be right … even when they know they are wrong.

This is the person who starts the party … and often ruins it.

This is the person who has hundreds and even thousands of friends … and no one who is close to them.

This is the person who has been in numerous relationships … and either something is wrong with the other person or they are “friends with benefits” … or just “good friends”.

Is this person you?

We have all been this person, in one way or another.

No, we have not all been loud, but we have all been stubborn in some way.

No, we have not all been the partier with numerous “friends” and hook-ups.

We all, however, have yelled at God and known we were justified in our argument.

We all have wandered from God by following our own desires in one way or another.

We all have cheated on God by pursuing something or someone we loved more in one way or another.

Thankfully, God pursues us and quietly waits for us.

Thankfully, He came after us in Jesus Christ.

Lord Jesus, thank You for coming after us and saving us. Help us to pursue You in every moment. Give us the wisdom and guidance to avoid those which can lead us astray, and give us the strength to overcome temptation when we walk into it once again.


He Met a Harlot

Proverbs 7:10

“And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.”

Simple Observations

I am sure that much could be said about this verse, but I would like to make some simple observations.

First Observation. “And, behold, there met him…” Believe it or not, there are some places a man, much more a Christian man, should never go. This applies to the women, also. There are places such as bars, strip clubs, night clubs, and chicken wing places with servers wearing next to nothing, that invite not only temptation, but leave one open to attack.

Notice, the young man went to a place “near her corner,” next to her house, in the dark, and late at night (7:8-9). Folks, when you walk into a spider’s lair, expect her to come out to meet you. She’s looking for you.

Second Observation. “with the attire of a harlot” Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, there are ways to dress that are decent, and then there are ways to dress that make you look like a hooker. Why is this so hard for some to understand?

The whole idea, here, is that there is a woman on the prowl, and she has dressed herself in such a way to lure a man to his doom. If it didn’t matter how one dressed, then it wouldn’t have meant anything for Solomon to point out the obvious. But Solomon did point out that what this dangerous woman was wearing was typical of her trade.

Men, stay away from any woman who dresses in such a way that intentionally makes your eyes wander. Women, when you dress provocatively, you send a message that is ungodly. Parents, shame on you if you let your little girl leave the house looking like a prostitot!

Third Observation. “subtle of heart” I was curious about the use of the word “subtle.” According to one online dictionary*, “subtle” means “not loud, bright, noticeable or obvious in any way.” This didn’t seem consistent with what I was reading. There’s nothing much “subtle” about a woman who goes out into the dark wearing clothes that look like a harlot. So, I dug deeper.

It seems that the word translated “subtle” is the Hebrew word natsar**, which means “to guard, watch over, keep.” In other words, “subtle of heart” means something like, “you don’t know how hard, cold, and wounded her heart is.” She will never let you know the pain she hides, but she will unleash it on the fool she finds in the dark.

 

*Source: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/subtle

**”Hebrew Lexicon :: H5341 (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible. Accessed 7 Nov, 2013. http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H5341&t=KJV


Write It Down

Proverbs 7:1-3

“My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart.”

iProverbs?

If gadgets had been around in Solomon’s day perhaps the book of Proverbs would have been marketed as an application that could be installed on a computer or smartphone, like an application that could flash up important reminders throughout the day, or even wake its owner with a Proverb for the day. You could argue that Proverbial Thought goes some way to meeting the idea of an electronic version of Proverbs.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) Solomon had no other choice but to write it all down. The problem with this rather old-fashioned method is the need to emphasize certain teachings to ensure that the message is heeded and remembered.

Graphic Reminders

Proverbs 7 contains some rather graphic reminders about immorality, apparently directed at young men but equally applicable to men and women of any age. The first three verses provide instructions on how to use the wisdom contained within the verses that follow. The real danger is that you might not like what you read in Proverbs 7, or you may think that Proverbs 7 does not apply to you. It does! Danger is all around and we need to be sure that we recognize dangerous situations, and then do our best to avoid them.

Solomon is not making suggestions that we may choose to ignore if we so wish. He makes it very clear that these are commands or orders that are to be followed. While society may challenge such rules, the wisdom expressed in Proverbs is essential for society to function as it should. These are words of life (verse 2). Immorality does not enhance life, but brings pain, hurt, self-loathing. Look back in history at how immorality triggered the downfall of ancient civilizations. Why should ours be any different?

Nothing has changed since Proverbs 7 was written. Take these words, these instructions for life, and write them deep within your heart as Solomon intended. Please do not be offended at the posts that follow as they seek to apply ancient truths to a modern world where they are still relevant and vitally important.


Never Underestimate Jealousy

Proverbs 6:34-35

“For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.”

These two verses are stocked full of practical insight which is lost on the man who fools around with a married woman. The wisdom of Solomon should be heeded, for nothing good comes from making a married man jealous. But there is also wisdom to be had for the woman.

Foolish Games

I recently read an article on a website called Selfgrowth.com entitled “How to Make a Guy Jealous – 5 Teasing Ways to Make Him Want You More.” In that article, written for girls, the writer suggests that “jealousy can also be good – just as long as it’s not destructive.” Really, what kind of wisdom is that? Well, I guess one should consider the source. Just read the author’s bio:

“Steffi Hall is a seduction and attraction expert who teaches men how to attract and pick up beautiful women. As a former model who has been sought after by many men, Steffi has the experience in passing on the skill of attraction, since she was a target of many men herself. There is no better teacher then the target itself, learn from the source.”

Do verses 25 and 26 of this chapter ring a bell? Why would anyone want to learn about relationships from a self-proclaimed seducer? How wise is it to tell your current man “about your other guy friends and what you usually do when you hangout,” or how your ex “was such a great kisser?”

Jealousy is a foolish game to play, for jealousy often leads to rage.

Rage Against Fools

Proverbs 6:27 and 28 talk about getting “burned.” Verse 33 talks about getting “wounds.” No wonder Solomon says in verse 32 that a man who commits adultery with a woman “lacketh understanding.” Aside from having no “heart,” the man is a fool. Does he ever stop to consider that the husband may want revenge?

I have personally known of several men who had their wives betray them.  In one of those cases the husband killed the adulterer and the adulteress with a shotgun. In another, the husband killed his wife, then himself. The rage that results from being betrayed by a spouse in very dangerous, and in these two cases what Solomon warned came to pass – the husbands did not “spare in the day of vengeance.”

Fool’s Gold

Even if adultery doesn’t end in murder, it usually ends in divorce. What kind of fool thinks he can lay with another man’s wife and then smooth everything over with money and gifts? Evidently, some do. Some think they can bribe themselves out of any situation.

Solomon warns that a jealous man is one who cannot be bought off or placated with money or things. If money can’t buy love, it can’t replace love betrayed.


The Heartless Thief

Proverbs 6:32-33

“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.”

In verses 30 and 31 Solomon talked about a starving man. He said, “Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry.” But there is a huge difference between a man who will steal food and a man who will steal another’s wife.

Difficult Words

I have lost track of how many times I have written and deleted words, sentences, and whole paragraphs. Finding the right words for today’s “thought” has proven quite difficult. Why is that? Could it be because it’s late as I write this? Could it be that I am in a writer’s slump? Should I have let Jason Sneed write this post, instead?

Maybe the real reason I am having a hard time finding the right words is linked to verse 33. My disgust for the sin of adultery is making it hard for me to remain calm. Thinking about the excuses so many give for this crime makes me sick. Unlike the man who steals food to survive (v. 30), men do despise the adulterer.

No Heart

What kind of man commits adultery? Many do it because they say they couldn’t help themselves. Many blame others for their sin. But if the truth be known, an intriging word in verse 32 may hold a vital clue. That word is “understanding.”

When I asked my wife to describe for me what she thought “lacketh understanding” meant, she said, “An adulterer is a person who doesn’t understand what he is doing – he doesn’t comprehend the consequences – he’s clueless.” Yet, when I went to the original languages I found something else.

The word translated “understanding” in verse 32 is the Hebrew word leb (Strong’s H3820). More often than not, this word is used to describe the “inner part” of man, such as his heart, his soul, or his conscience. As a matter of fact, out of the 593 times this word is found in the Authorized Version, it is translated “understanding” only 10 times. It is translated “heart” 508 times.

What my wife suggested may be true, but it may also be true that an adulterer, a man that takes another man’s wife, is a man that has no “heart.” In other words, he doesn’t care who he hurts. All he cares about is getting what he wants – not what he needs.

Is it any wonder this man is worthy of dishonor and reproach?

Final Thought

Not all crimes deserve the same punishment. And even thought sin is sin, the consequences are not all the same. Galatians 6:7 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Stealing bread and stealing sex are totally different seeds.


Drink Your Own Water

Proverbs 5:15-17

[15] Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. [16] Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. [17] Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee.”

The Addiction of Adultery

Last night I attended an event in which a famous former British boxer and his wife (Nigel and Carolyne Benn) gave testimony to the power of Jesus in their lives. Nigel spoke of the way that his substantial earnings failed to bring happiness, but instead led to various addictions, including numerous affairs. Nigel testified that for sixteen years he was unfaithful to his wife. Some of the women Nigel slept with sold their stories to the press, increasing the hurt inflicted on his wife and other members of his family.

Carolyne explained how she reacted the day when Nigel came home and confessed absolutely everything to her. By now they were living on the island of Mallorca, attending church, and it seemed that everything was OK. But Nigel couldn’t take his eyes off other women and had another affair. He confessed to one of his pastors and was challenged to make the same confession to his wife. That confession resulted in Nigel and Carolyne spending a year apart. Nigel lived with his pastors, while immersing himself in God’s word, and finally surrendering everything to God.

Stay in the Ring

Why did Solomon write so many verses warning about adultery? Because He knew that when a man or a woman looks outside marriage it is like stepping outside the boxing ring. Nigel Benn was an acclaimed fighter for whom the fight held no fear. But he couldn’t handle his life outside the ring where he was surrounded by temptations he could not resist. In Proverbs 5: 15-17 Solomon uses water to make the point – drink only from your own well. In other words keep your love for your marriage partner, the person God chose for you. However exciting life outside the ring may seem, however tempting it is to drink from another well, sleeping with a person you are not married to is going to damage not just your life, but many.

What is the best defense against such damaging behavior? Nigel Benn would probably say that a good boxer never lets his guard down. Substitute God for guard. Don’t ever let God down by looking outside of your marriage for pleasure. Instead examine what you have, and return to Proverbial Thought tomorrow to learn what Solomon has to say about cherishing all that God has blessed you with through the gift of your wife (or husband).


Reason for the Warning

Proverbs 5:10-14

[10] Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger; [11] And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed, [12] And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof; [13] And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me! [14] I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.”

Another’s Spouse

How many times have we heard about a man or a woman pursuing a married person saying “We are so in love, and he/she is going to leave his/her wife/husband”? Most of the time, we later hear that, no, they did not leave their spouses. The adulterous spouse received gifts and favors, and now those gifts and the fruit of the jilted lovers’ labors are enjoyed by the one who was supposed to be out the door.

In other words, strangers are filled with your wealth, and your work helps another household. You feel betrayed and hurt … even though you were the one causing betrayal and hurt.

Everyone said it was a bad idea. Everyone told you that what you were doing was wrong. Now you wonder “Why wouldn’t I listen? I feel like I have wasted my life!”

Working Hard for the Money

Imagine for a moment (or think for a moment, if this is true for you) that you are a woman with a husband and three children. You go to work five or six days a week, eight to ten hours a day to get a decent pay check. Then your husband announces one morning he is leaving and going to live with another woman. All of a sudden, your world comes crashing down as you realize that this person will no longer be there to help with the kids, and will your paycheck be enough, anymore?

(For the record, this happened to a co-worker of mine just this week. Please pray for her, her children, her husband, and anyone else who may be involved!)

This is the effect adultery has. It does not just affect two or three people. It hits families, friends, and coworkers, too. It is just like looking at your family and God and saying “You are dead to me.” It is like putting all of your money on black and having it come up red.

You end up with no one and nothing.

God does not tell us to avoid adultery and to listen to advice to toy with us. God cares enough about us to want to keep us from going through this living hell I just described.

Cheating on God

We do the same thing with God when we call on His name and then yell at the cashier. We do the same thing with God when say, “Lord, I love you,” and then never pick up the Bible or pay attention during a church service. We do the same thing with God when we say, “He is my Savior,” and live exactly the same way as everyone else in the world who denies God.

Gracious God, forgive us when we forget You; grant us Your grace and mercy when You use Your name in vain by living contrary to Your word and nature. Protect us from the adulterous people who will lead us astray. Give us the wisdom to turn to You in all things.