Category Archives: Value and Worth

The Preciousness of Wisdom

Hello, Dear Reader. I am a rarity to this blog, but I have come to share with you some truths of Wisdom which I have gleaned.

Last Summer, I found myself in a particularly tough place in regards to dating relationships. The person I was with for a period of three months was someone of immoral character and rebellion. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, so to speak, and I, being the naïve woman looking for a nice and caring fellow, fell into the trap of enticement.

During the last couple of weeks of my relationship, I was interested in reading Scripture, but it was rooted in how I wanted to prove to my parents that this person I spent time with was worth the time I had invested. I began to read through Proverbs for a short time, but once my relationship ended I began to have a bitterness fester within my heart due to some underlying problems with self-image and self-value.

I have always hated the possibility that one day I would live up to my middle name which means “bitterness,” yet that is exactly what I had become: a bitter young woman, full of rebellion against my upbringing. I spent a majority of my time during the last half of last year and the first part of this year in hate and corruption of the mind and heart, and the worst part was that I knew exactly how to remedy that pain I put myself through.

In a paper I wrote at the beginning of this semester, I stated:

“I know that God is real and loving and forgiving; I know with all certainty that He wants me to come to Him. Even so, I do not want the help that He has to offer my wounded and rotting spirit. I do not want to muster up the courage it takes to allow Him to scrape the putrid rot from my soul, just as a doctor must scrape and clean a burn victim. I do not want the comfort that He sends me through the gracious acts of others as they hold me and speak life into my heart. I do not want what I need. I want my own efforts to win over. Never have I understood so clearly how a dying man fights for his last breath – until now. I know that God is real, but I would rather trust my fingernails for security.” – The Strength of My Own Fingernails

Now, as I am recovering from this season of life, I can look at Scripture again with a refreshed mind and soul. Here is what I have learned from Proverbs 2:

Wisdom is:

  • A protector via discernment (v. 3)
  • A saving grace from wicked people (v. 12-19)
  • Something which only comes from the Lord (v. 6)
  • Something which must be sought out (v. 1-5)
  • Something which has value (v. 4)

Sterling Silver

In verse 4, Solomon refers to the value of Wisdom as being like that of the value of silver. This precious metal has been used in jewelry for thousands of years, including a piece which is now on my left ring finger. I wear a sterling silver band for several reasons, one of which to serve as a reminder that God’s Wisdom is something to be cherished. If only I had listened to the teachings of this Word and my parent’s concerns before taking my course of actions last year! I would have saved myself so much heartache and regret!

Wisdom is worth seeking out; it is a treasure to obtain. The catch is this: you must be willing to sacrifice your personal agenda in order to journey to find this treasure. It was only after I sacrificed my lifestyle and my hurt to Christ that I was able to access the Lord’s Wisdom again. If you want this treasure, it must be the only thing you seek.

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A Final Thought (5 Years, 10 Months Later!)

Proverbs 31:31

“Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

What of Us?

At long last, we have come not only to the end of a chapter, but the whole book of Proverbs (and the second time through – it’s taken SIX YEARS!). The last verse of the last chapter is both a statement of praise for the virtuous woman and a challenge for us. Wisdom will receive the fruit of her labor. Her works will praise her in the gates. But what of us? What of our works?

The virtuous woman of this chapter has done everything with wisdom and grace; she deserves what is coming to her. The product of her faithfulness, her ingenuity, her holiness, and her benevolence will speak of her in the highest places of honor. Her works are her testimony; she need not speak of herself. But what will be said of us?

Fruit? Praise?

When it all comes down to where the rubber meets the road, we will reap what we sow. If the nearly two years it took to write the “thoughts” found here on this site (or the book which hopefully will follow) were worth anything, there will be fruit, and Wisdom will be praised in the gates.

proverbial thought pictureIt is hard to believe that almost SIX WHOLE YEARS have gone by since the first post on Proverbial Thought was written back on April 1, 2012! Much has happened; much has been endured; much has been learned; many have been blessed, and many have become wiser.

But the real blessings yet to be had are the ones that will be revealed in eternity: the marriages that stayed together; the poor choices not made; the hearts made more in tune with God’s Spirit; the lives saved by simple moments of vulnerability; the eyes turned to Christ, the Wisdom of God.

Thank you, dear friends and subscribers, especially all the contributors, for a wonderful and enlightening journey through this ancient book of wisdom – God’s Wisdom. I pray it was fruitful.

Now, what next?


My Daughters

Proverbs 31:29 

“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.”

What Matters

Over the years I have met many people. Sadly, many of those cared not about the virtues praised in this chapter, only fame, popularity, wealth, and beauty. Parents are often more concerned with whether or not their daughters make the team, wear the crown, win the ribbon, get the rich husband, or fit into that certain dress.

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Alicia on her wedding day.

However, I don’t care so much about all those things. Sure, I want my daughters to be liked and well-off. It even makes me swell with pride when they win awards or turn heads with a glamorous gown. What matters to me is that they become women of honor, courage, strength, and faith. What matters most is that they honor God.

Praise

Unfortunately, most girls get praised for being sexy, selfish, and seductive. Instead of praising the hard-working woman who is faithful to her husband and God, who takes care of her family, we tune in each week to reality shows that make millionaires out of harlots and place a premium on vanity, not virtue.

Haley and Katie @ Bryan College

Moms and dads, husbands, it is our responsibility to praise the woman “that feareth the Lord” (31:30). Whether they be young and in school, or mothers and grandmothers, our “daughters” should be praised for doing “virtuously.” And what higher praise could there be than to say, “Of all the virtuous, godly, Proverbs 31-like women in the world, you are the best“?

That is the praise my wife desires. That’s the praise I hope to teach my daughters to seek.

 


Blessed

Proverbs 31:10, 28 

Who can find such a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies….
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

This last chapter of Proverbs has provided the male contributors to Proverbial Thought with several opportunities to reflect on the blessing of a good wife. Perhaps that is something all husbands should do more frequently. Perhaps by taking stock more often husbands would be prompted to praise their marriage partners instead of taking them for granted.

This challenge applies to our children too. How often do children fall into the same trap as their father and fail to appreciate just how blessed they are by their mother? This does saddle fathers with additional responsibility. If children see their father taking their mother for granted then it seems inevitable that they will fail to truly value the blessings they receive from their mother.

Marilyn and Reuben copySo here in my final entry as a contributor to Proverbial Thought I want to take the opportunity to thank my wife Marilyn. It is difficult to adequately express my gratitude. In two months we will celebrate our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. As I look back on those thirty-five years I know that God has blessed me beyond anything I have ever deserved in a wife, and I thank Him for what I consider to be an arranged marriage. When God chose us for each other He knew what He was doing. He always does.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19: 3-6 NIV)


Fine Linen

Proverbs 31:24

“She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.”

Here, in this description of a virtuous, priceless woman, we see further proof that a woman is not limited to domestic work. Although she takes care of her household, she is industrious and business-minded. She makes a product she’s proud of and not afraid to stake her family’s reputation.

Notice here, too, that she is not only a hard worker, but she knows how to make use of her time. Instead of working for every dollar (or whatever currency she uses), she lets her money work for her. Instead of setting up a stand beside the road to sell her wares, she makes her product available to be sold by a merchant.

Personally, I believe there is a little bit of cleverness in the last part of this verse. She makes a product and sells it, but she “delivereth girdles unto the merchant.” It could be that she is just making a delivery, but it might be possible that she is greasing the skids of business. She gives the merchant something special for selling her product.

A wise woman, good in business and full of virtue, is obviously going to be one that is concerned with quality and the way others in the market are treated. By following her example, men and women alike would earn a better reputation and further the cause of the faith (see 1 Timothy 3:7).


Lessons from Pizza Night

Proverbs 31:10,23 

Who can find such a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies….
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

This proverb is a reminder that how one marriage partner behaves will more than certainly impact on the life of the other. The scenario described in Proverbs 31:23 speaks of a husband receiving respect from the elders of the land because his wife ticks all the boxes in the checklist prepared by King Lemuel’s mother.

There is one thing that sticks in my mind from personal experience. When my wife was pregnant with our fourth child (and only daughter) she met a group of younger women at maternity classes. Five of them became good friends, and an institution that has become known as ‘pizza night’ came into being. The five of them meet monthly in each other’s homes where they share a meal of pizza, salad, and dessert. When I asked one of them what they talked about on a typical pizza night she laughed and replied, “most of the time we moan about our husbands!” Then she paused before adding, “but Marilyn has never ever complained about you.” I can’t place a value on that statement.

I might not sit among the elders of the land, but I am proud of a wife who chooses to stay silent when her friends are finding fault with their husbands, whether in jest or not. And I am reminded to be careful when choosing my own words.


The Best-Dressed Family

Proverbs 31:21

“She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.”

The Best

This proverb is about a mother, a wife, a woman who is not afraid of the weather forecast, for she has already made plans for the cold. But even more, it’s about a proud (in a good sense) and resourceful mother who cares enough to clothe her family with the highest quality garments.

Most people are unfamiliar with with how costly the colors scarlet and purple were back in biblical times. They are also typically unaware of the quality of garments treated with these dyes. Without going into too much detail, just to put things in perspective, to dye a shirt purple back in those days could cost the equivalent of $1,000 in today’s money. The rarity of true purple dye, the kind used for royalty, is hard for the modern mind to comprehend.

And what’s more, the dye that was used was known to preserve garments. It is reported that when Alexander the Great rode into Susa, he was presented with a scarlet robe found in one of the palaces. It was said to have been hundreds of years old, yet in perfect condition due to the preserving qualities of the dye.

She Cared

Maybe it would help if we considered what a Proverbs 31 woman is NOT. The anti-thesis of the woman in this proverb could care less how her family looks in public. She would buy the cheapest quality, even though she had money to do otherwise. She would let the kids dress themselves without concerning herself about rain, snow, or the looks of others. Essentially, she could care less about her own appearance, so why bother with her family.

I’ll never forget how my wife, when buying shoes for our children, would take them to a quality shoe store. She used to say, “I know they’re expensive, but good shoes are better for their feet…and better shoes last longer.” She invested in our children’s health. Or, as a certain greeting card company would say, she cared enough to give the best.

The Best You Have

Now, not everyone can afford “the best.” To be the best wife does not mean one has to be the richest or most stylish. The virtuous woman does not have to have access to the highest quality money can buy.

However, a good woman cares about her family, not only in how they are prepared, but how others see them. She understands that how her household is dressed is not only a reflection on herself, but on her husband as well. She does her best to send the message that her household is one that not only takes care of each other, but does it with style.

After all, a good wife is better than a queen, so why not dress her children like royalty?