At this moment I am sitting in a dimly-lit room, my feet up in a recliner, a curtain surrounding me to lend privacy, with my iPhone 7 in my hands.
There’s a noticeable, but calming mechanical noise … maybe it’s electrical … in the background. Maybe it’s the AC system? Regardless, it’s relaxing, especially considering the surroundings.
A few moments ago a technician inserted an IV into my right arm, then he injected a radioactive substance into my vein. After that, while sitting here, I drank about 16 ounces of a “contrast.” In a little less than an hour from now, once all the stuff inside me filters through my body, I’ll receive a PET CT scan to determine whether or not I’ve got cancer. More specifically, whether or not the mass (lymph node) in my chest above my heart is malignant.
What does one think about during times like these? Do I worry, think about what may or may not happen, or write about my experience in real time? I choose the latter.
Because I believe that God is real. I believe that there are times when we believers in Jesus Christ need to be transparent, letting our experiences and how we handle them be a testimony to others of the grace of God on our lives.
There’s an old cliche that goes, “I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds tomorrow.” It’s in the uncertain moments like these that Christians need to shine, not only voicing the cliche, but demonstrating a genuine hope and trust in Christ.
This afternoon I will receive a diagnosis from the surgeon scheduled to review the tests. I’m not scared. Honestly, I am barely nervous. God has me in the palm of His hand, and nothing about to happen will change the plans He has for me.
If it’s cancer, so be it. If it’s not, then great! Nevertheless, I am not alone…not in this dark little room, the CT chamber, or anywhere the Lord leads me. And the promise He gives to me is the same for you, if your faith is in Him – “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”
Those are my thoughts at this time. I’ll update you, later, with the results.
UPDATE: No cancer 🙂