Tag Archives: children

March 18, 2016

Difficult Children

By David

Proverbs 19:26 

He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.
Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace. (NLT)

Bad Parents

This teaching is so basic that it featured in the Ten Commandments. There is only one problem. What if the son who mistreats his father or chases away his mother, is only following an example set through poor parenting? Bad parenting has devastating effects when it carries down through the generations. Biblical examples of bad parents include a whole range of kings and queens. Even King David set a bad example at times.

I wonder what Solomon thought of the way in which David came to marry his mother? Did this cause Solomon to be equally blind when it came to the matter of matrimony? Yes! The Bible records that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Some of these relationships led to Solomon turning a blind eye to idolatry, and then building shrines to false gods. 1 Kings 11 records that God was very angry with Solomon because of the condition of his heart. After Solomon died the kingdom was divided, and Solomon’s son demonstrated none of the wisdom of his father.

What About Us?

It is easy to judge parents because of their children. We probably do it several times a week at the very least. When we see badly behaved children in a shopping mall, for instance, it is easy to assume that the children are merely following a poor example provided by their parents. But what about us? It is not just our children who are watching us.

If we claim faith in Jesus Christ, then the world is watching us. When followers of Jesus fall from grace and set a bad example to the world, it could be said that as children of God they have behaved in the manner described in this proverb. How we behave in our daily lives paints a picture of God our Father to a watching world. What sort of picture are you painting?

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in advice, Parenting

January 3, 2016

Fathering a Fool

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 17:21

He that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy. (KJV)
To have a fool for a child brings grief; there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool. (NIV)

Following

Reading through the previous verses, we read about different ways fools act:

  • They are only impressed with violence (vv. 10)
  • They willingly deny God and/or His works (vv. 11)
  • They do not learn from the consequences of their actions (vv. 12, 20)
  • They are vengeful (vv. 13)
  • They keep getting into arguments (vv. 14, 19)
  • They celebrate sin (vv. 15)
  • They cannot handle finances well (vv. 16, 18)

Verse 13 also tells us something else (by implication): These traits tend to be learned from our family.

Our foolishness gets passed on to our children. Usually it is by our own foolishness and bad decisions, but as evidenced by the events after the Garden of Eden it is also passed on genetically!

Chosen

Sadly, as evidenced by David and Solomon’s children, the children of the a friend of God and the wisest of men, even if we do our best our children may act foolishly.

Ask any parent who has had to bail their child out of jail, pay for damages to property or stolen items or debt, has to clean up social messes, or has to spend time in emergency rooms due to reckless behavior: a foolish child is difficult to live with.

Here is the thing: it is always a choice.

We choose to mock our parents. We choose to embarrass our parents. We choose to ruin our own lives.

We choose to live in rebellion to God and His ways.

The Truth

That is the real crux of the matter. Our foolishness is rebellion to God.

If we bring grief and no joy to God, it actually proves who our father is:

44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
John 8:44

Do not make the father of lies proud and grieve God. Choose wisely.

Heavenly Father, give us Your wisdom and help us to avoid foolishness. Thank You for forgiving our foolishness. Help us to raise godly children by living godly lives through Your Holy Spirit.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , | posted in Fools, Parenting

September 15, 2015

He Reads Minds

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 15:26

“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words.”

Reading Minds

I am not a mind reader, but I can usually tell you what my children are thinking. When they get angry with each other, they want revenge. When one gets hurt, the other is sad, but only on the outside…they laugh on the inside.

I have even become better at reading my wife’s mind. When she says that she is not feeling well, what she really wants is for me to make dinner, pay the bills, clean the house, and help the children with their homework. When she says, “Honey, let’s put the kids to bed early tonight,” what she really wants is to go to bed early…after watching the news. Pretty simple.

However, when it really comes down to knowing every little thought in a person’s mind, only God can do that (Hebrews 4:13-13). He even knows more than Santa Claus.

Hidden Thoughts

The wicked think they can fool God. They parade around doing good, like feeding the homeless, adopting orphans, or hammering a nail in a habitat. They go to church; have pews named after them; and occupy seats on the most influential boards; yet, inside they are “full of dead men’s bones.” Who are they kidding?

The wicked don’t have to do anything outwardly bad; Yahweh knows their thoughts. He knows their motivations. He can read their minds, even when their actions are an attempt to disguise.

Nothing Hidden

The pure of heart have nothing to hide. Their actions betray their thoughts in a good way. Their words are windows into hearts with proper intentions, and the Lord loves to hear them speak.

God doesn’t even have to hear the wicked speak to know what’s on their minds (Matt. 15:19). He says, “I know what you’re thinking, so don’t even say it.” But the pure, the righteous, are a different story altogether. He says, “Come, let us reason together…I’d love to hear what you have to say.“

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in conversation/speech, Uncategorized

May 8, 2014

A Special Son

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 4:3-4

“For I was my father’s son, tender and only [beloved] in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.”

“Father’s Son”

The first thing that arrested my attention in these verses was the words “father’s son.”

Why do these words stand out so much? Could it be that Solomon was speaking as if he had been an only child? Could it be that of all the children of King David, the one who turned out well was the one who was treated special?

Solomon was not David’s only son, nor his first. Yet, Solomon grew up differently. Even before he asked for wisdom from God, he was well on the right path, unlike his brothers Absalom and Adonijah. Could it be, because of the mistakes that David had already made, he didn’t want to repeat them with Solomon? Could it be he didn’t want another son hanging from a tree?

“My Mother”

Can you imagine what kind of mother Bathsheba must have become? She evidently was not the kind of queen mother who sent her children away to be cared for by nannies. No, she evidently doted on Solomon. She must have cherished and protected him, for he was “tender” (delicate, weak) in her eyes.

Solomon was not Bathsheba’s only son, either. But if we are to understand Solomon correctly, he was definitely treated in a unique way (“only beloved”).

“And live”

Can you picture Solomon remembering the face of David? His father had already had two sons try to take over his throne, and both had died. Surely he couldn’t foret hearing his father cry, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!” – (2 Samuel 18:33).

What kind of pain must have been written in the wrinkles of that broken father’s face? As Solomon remembered, did he try to pass on his wisdom in the same way?

Solomon says, “Let thine heart retain my words; keep my commandments, and live.” Was he thinking of his rebellious brothers? Could he see their bodies in his mind’s eye as he looked upon Rehoboam? Oh, if only Rehoboam had listened (See 1 Kings 3).

A Prayer

Oh, God! Am I passing on the wisdom of my godly parents? Do I take my parenting seriously? If the wisest man in the world could mess up as much as he did, what chance do I have of rearing god-fearing children? Lord, my hope is in You. Your Spirit is my strength. Let my children see You in my actions, and where I fail, blind their eyes. Give me a broken heart for my “tender and beloved.”

;

;

;

Related articles

4 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , | posted in Parenting, Warnings, Wisdom

January 10, 2014

This Generation

By Chris Jordan
Proverbs 30:11.
“There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.” (KJV).

Today’s Generation of Young People:

There are several different definitions for the word generation: “the entire body of individuals born and living at about the same time; a group of individuals, most of whom are the same approximate age, having similar ideas, problems, attitudes, etc.” I believe that both of these definitions can aptly describe what Agur means by generation in this passage. And I believe that this passage is truer today than has ever been true before:

this generation

There is a generation – an entire body of individuals alive today – who both curse their father and don’t bless their mother. This has almost become the defining characteristic of today’s generation of young people. They are disrespectful – not only to their parents, but also to all forms of authority – government figures, police, teachers, coaches and even pastors. Just turn on the TV and you will be hard-pressed to find a positive program that promotes healthy family values, where the children honour and respect their parents. What a sad commentary on today’s society!

Cursing Instead of Blessing:

When I was younger, there were fewer people who would dare to disrespect their parents – at least not openly and to their faces. Yet today, there is a generation that curses their father. Today, they talk disrespectfully to their dad, and they talk disrespectfully about him behind his back. And not only do they curse their father (and their mother, too), but they also neglect to fulfill their duty to bless their mother (and father) by honouring and obeying them. It’s no wonder our world is in such a mess today!

In the Ten Commandments – God’s Top Ten of rules for living life that He gave His people when He delivered them from slavery in Egypt – one of those top ten rules was about how children were to treat their parents: “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12). These are not the Ten Suggestions or the Ten Options – they are God’s Ten Commandments! We are commanded to honour our parents, whether we feel they deserve our respect or not, and whether we feel like it or not.

But notice that here is the first of the commandments with a promise of blessing: If we honour our parents, we will prolong our life. Quoting this commandment in the New Testament, Paul says that when we honour and obey our parents: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” (Eph. 6:3). Do you want to be blessed? Do you want things to go well with you? Do you want to live long and prosper? Then refuse to be a part of this generation that curses its father and refuses to bless its mother. Honour and obey your parents in the Lord – for this is right. Amen!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Parenting

December 25, 2013

Wise Parenting

By Chris Jordan

Proverbs 29:17.

“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.” (KJV).
“Discipline your children, and they will give you happiness and peace of mind.” (NLT). 

Foolish Parenting:

There is an unfortunate parenting model that has emerged in recent days that has proved to be detrimental to the well-being of children. The philosophy says that a parent should become best friends with their child. Included in this idea is the belief that the parent should give their son or daughter the freedom to explore the world around them without any kind of boundaries, rules or restrictions. If you’ll forgive my lack of political correctness here, these are some of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard!

I know of a couple who decided that they wanted to be their kids buddies instead of their parents. They literally let their children get away with anything. No rules. No boundaries. No consequences. I watched them with great concern when their children were younger, and at one point, I said to my wife Liza, “If they don’t start disciplining their children, then when they become teenagers, their daughter is going to get pregnant, and both of them are going to end up ruining their lives with drugs and alcohol. Fast-forward several years: Both of these children ended up become sexually promiscuous, the teenage daughter got pregnant multiple times, their son got his girlfriend pregnant, and both of them had issues with drugs and alcohol. And the sad thing is that this story gets repeated over and over again in the lives of many parents and children.

Wise Parenting:

In today’s Proverb, Solomon says that if a parent will correct or discipline their child, the resulting benefit to the parent will be happiness and peace of mind. When my wife and I started having children, we made the decision to parent them according to the principles in the Bible. “If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don’t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.” (Proverbs 13:24, NLT).

Because we love our children, we knew we had to parent them, and parenting them included rules and boundaries, discipline and negative consequences for their actions. Today, we have four children ages 11-17, and we are so thankful to the Lord that they are Christ-like, obedient children who are kind, loving and respectful. We don’t worry what our children are going to do when we’re not around, because we trust that we have trained them up in the way that they should go, and we know that they won’t depart from it. Does this mean that our children are perfect? Of course not. But they are good, and their mom and I have happiness and peace of mind.

I want to issue this challenge to all of the parents reading this today: Your children don’t need a buddy. They have lots of friends. But they do need a parent. Someone to give them boundaries and guidelines to help them learn to live right. Train them in the way that they should go, and God’s Word promises that when they grow old, they will not depart from it. Amen!

Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!

Family Group Hug

From left to right: Austin (13), Tori (15), Caleb (17), my wife Liza, myself, and Hannah (11).

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Parenting

August 19, 2013

Parents’ Joy

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 23:24-25

24 The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.
25 Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.

My Testimony

Today, I begin a new chapter in my theological journey at Phoenix Seminary.

My parents are very proud to see me pursuing ministry for God so diligently and wholeheartedly.

My parents raised me to be respectful. I was also taught to be open-minded yet reasonable.

When I first began attending a local church, they were not enthused. They were worried I might be indoctrinated with bigoted ideas and a judgmental attitude.

Instead, I began to believe what I was taught about the Bible and Jesus of Nazareth. That little Church of the Nazarene congregation helped me see the truth of love and grace and the need of a Lord and Savior.

In less than a year of my believing, of my life being changed, of the Holy Spirit moving through to me to act in wisdom and righteousness, my parents believed in the same Savior.

God the Father sent His Son to die, and then He sent my parents’ son to show them His Son.

It was none of my own righteousness and wisdom that won them over. It was seeing the righteousness and wisdom of the Father – Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit – that drew them to glorify His name!

They found true joy and the true reason to rejoice through me, thanks to our Lord!

A responsible and intelligent child can bring much joy to his or her parents. The greatest joy comes from seeing God manifested in the life of their child, and that is only true if God is manifested in their lives, as well!

Heavenly Father, gracious God, help us to seek You diligently. Live in us and through us that our parents and our children may see Your glory and turn to You. Make our joy complete as Your joy is made complete in us through Your Son.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , | posted in Faithfulness, Parenting, Paths of Life, Trust the Lord

May 27, 2013

Innocent As Children?

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 20:11

11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

I can remember growing up hearing “Why did you that? You know better!” whenever I would misbehave. It started around the age of four years or so. It was always said in response to something I had previously done or went against common sense, even for a child.

As a culture we seem to have a certain expectation of children, that they are sweet, innocent little angels who become corrupted by age and experience. Even at a young age we expect our children to behave a certain way, and when they do not they need to be corrected and reprimanded.

If our children have the expectation to do what is right, how much more should we expect teens and adults to do what is right?

You know better!

How do we know we have these expectations of people? We all seem to have an innate understanding of what is right and wrong.

It is seen every time we get upset with someone for doing something stupid or that hurts someone else.

It is seen every time someone does something considered morally wrong. All religions and atheists admit to a moral code.

All people fall short at some point, and it always seems as though we can hear someone saying “You know better!”

We have God’s Word to reveal to us how we each have gone astray from what is right. Honestly, it is put in such simple terms that children can understand it.

Yet we fail time and again.

But God helps us and changes us through His Holy Spirit.

Even children know how to do what is right if they are told.

God has shown us. May we, as His children, listen.

Heavenly Father, You are so holy and amazing. May Your Kingdom be lived out through our lives, that the world may glorify You.  Let our actions speak of Your perfect will and grace, that the world may know what is pure and right: You.

1 Comment   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in counsel, Knowledge

May 13, 2013

Difficult Children

By David

Proverbs 19:26 

He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.
Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace. (NLT)

Bad Parents

This teaching is so basic that it featured in the Ten Commandments. There is only one problem. What if the son who mistreats his father or chases away his mother, is only following an example set through poor parenting? Bad parenting has devastating effects when it carries down through the generations. Biblical examples of bad parents include a whole range of kings and queens. Even King David set a bad example at times. I wonder what Solomon thought of the way in which David came to marry his mother? Did this cause Solomon to be equally blind when it came to the matter of matrimony? Yes! The Bible records that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Some of these relationships led to Solomon turning a blind eye to idolatry, and then building shrines to false gods. 1 Kings 11 records that God was very angry with Solomon because of the condition of his heart. After Solomon died the kingdom was divided, and Solomon’s son demonstrated none of the wisdom of his father.

What About Us?

It is easy to judge parents because of their children. We probably do it several times a week at the very least. When we see badly behaved children in a shopping mall, for instance, it is easy to assume that the children are merely following a poor example provided by their parents. But what about us? It is not just our children who are watching us. If we claim faith in Jesus Christ, then the world is watching us. When followers of Jesus fall from grace and set a bad example to the world, it could be said that as children of God they have behaved in the manner described in this proverb. How we behave in our daily lives paints a picture of God our Father to a watching world. What sort of picture are you painting?

1 Comment   |  tags: , , | posted in advice, Parenting

January 17, 2013

He Reads Minds

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 15:26

“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words.”

Reading Minds

I am not a mind reader, but I can usually tell you what my children are thinking. When they get angry with each other, they want revenge. When one gets hurt, the other is sad, but only on the outside…they laugh on the inside.

I have even become better at reading my wife’s mind. When she says that she is not feeling well, what she really wants is for me to make dinner, pay the bills, clean the house, and help the children with their homework. When she says, “Honey, let’s put the kids to bed early tonight,” what she really wants is to go to bed early…after watching the news. Pretty simple.

However, when it really comes down to knowing every little thought in a person’s mind, only God can do that (Hebrews 4:13-13). He even knows more than Santa Claus.

Hidden Thoughts

The wicked think they can fool God. They parade around doing good, like feeding the homeless, adopting orphans, or hammering a nail in a habitat. They go to church; have pews named after them; and occupy seats on the most influential boards; yet, inside they are “full of dead men’s bones.” Who are they kidding?

The wicked don’t have to do anything outwardly bad; Yahweh knows their thoughts. He knows their motivations. He can read their minds, even when their actions are an attempt to disguise.

Nothing Hidden

The pure of heart have nothing to hide. Their actions betray their thoughts in a good way. Their words are windows into hearts with proper intentions, and the Lord loves to hear them speak.

God doesn’t even have to hear the wicked speak to know what’s on their minds (Matt. 15:19). He says, “I know what you’re thinking, so don’t even say it.” But the pure, the righteous, are a different story altogether. He says, “Come, let us reason together…I’d love to hear what you have to say.“

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in conversation/speech, Uncategorized