Tag Archives: discipline

Simple and Wise

Proverbs 21:11.

“When the scorner is punished, the simple is made wise: and when the wise is instructed, he receiveth knowledge.” (KJV).
“A simpleton can learn only by seeing mockers punished; a wise person learns from instruction.” (NLT).

Consequences and Punishment:

I started Kindergarten way back in 1977 (no jokes about how old I am, please!). Back then, principals and teachers were still allowed to exercise corporal punishment as a form of discipline. If a child misbehaved, and if the bad behaviour warranted it, they would get the strap. Now, although I was no saint, I never had the fortune (misfortune?) of receiving that form of discipline. However, I did have a friend who got the strap, and I knew enough to know that I never wanted to experience that form of discipline for myself.

Now, don’t read too much into my illustration and its connection to the above Proverb. I’m not saying that I was a simpleton, but I can tell you that by seeing someone else being punished for their disobedience, I learned a lot! I had no desire to be spanked for my wrong doing, so I did whatever I could to be good, or at least make sure that if I misbehaved, I didn’t get caught.

As a parent with four children in grades 5-11, one of the most frustrating things I see with our education system today is the fact that the teachers exercise little or no discipline over their students. If a teacher gives an assignment that is due on a certain date, and the majority of students don’t hand it in on time, then the teacher extends the deadline for the students. It seems like teachers don’t even have the power to be able to fail a student, even when they don’t complete any assignments. (In the teachers’ defense, I realize that they are a part of a system where they could not discipline even if they wanted to).

When I was in school, if we didn’t hand our assignments in on time, we would lose marks for every day it was late, and after a certain point, the teacher would no longer accept it! What lesson are teachers giving their students when they don’t have negative consequences for not handing in assignments? How will that help them when they get into the real world? The answer is: it won’t.

Wisdom and Instruction:

Solomon teaches us that a wise person can learn from instruction. In other words, they don’t have to learn from their mistakes. When mom and dad say, “Don’t touch the hot stove,” they trust the wisdom of their parents, and receive knowledge. When the preacher says, “Don’t sin, because sin kills,” we believe the truth of the Bible, and do whatever we can to avoid sin.

The reality is that we’re living in a world where there are consequences for our actions – either for good or for evil. And the sooner we learn that, and instill it in our children, the better.


Buddy or Parent?

Proverbs 13:24

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Since 2005, I have not only served at my church as Worship Pastor but I have also held the position of Children’s Pastor. Because of the structure of our children’s program, I have volunteers that are mostly dealing with the children on a week to week basis. I have found that I am begin to work more and more with the parents of these children.

I had a mom come to me a few years ago and she told me that her and her husband were having problems with their daughter not wanting to obey them. They said that they had tried just about everything and nothing seemed to work. I asked them how they disciplined their daughter when she disobeyed them and I was astonished by the response.

Her response was this: I don’t want to punish her because I want her to like me and if I punish her then she will not like me!

HUH? What kind of sense that does that make? I told them that their daughter does not need a “buddy” but a “parent”!

This Is Going To Hurt Me More Than You

As I was growing up, you could say that I had my fair share of spankings. Well, to be perfectly honest, I had a whole lot more than my fair share. My father always joked with me that each morning he was going to just go ahead and spank me because he was sure that I would earn it at some point during the day.

Before either my father or my mother would spank me, they would always say, “This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you.” I would always have the same thought go through my head – your not the one getting a spanking. How in the world is this going to hurt you more? It was not until I had a little girl of my own that I was able to have this question answered.

The Reason

After every spanking, my parents would take out their Bible and show me from God’s Word why they were disciplining me. They would turn to Proverbs 13:24 and read to me the words of Solomon. The reason that it hurt them more and the reason they disciplined me is that they loved me! They were not disciplining me because they wanted to be some kind of ruling tyrant, no, they were doing it because they loved me. The NIV says our verse this way, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

If we are children of God, why does HE discipline us? Because HE loves us! Revelation 3:19 says, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”

I praise the Lord for parents who disciplined me. Who took the time to tell me right from wrong; the good from the bad. Oh how I wish parents today would discipline their children the way my parents did me.

Lord, I pray that you would help me to love my child more and more each day. I pray that you would cause that love to discipline her when it is needed.  Help me to be the father that I need to be for my daughter so that I can train her according to Your Word.


Not Sparing the Rod

Proverbs 23:13-14

13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Anti-biblical Ideas

For the past few decades, many parenting “experts” have said it is bad to discipline your children. Usually they say simply that you should not spank your child, but some go as far as to say you should never discipline a child.

There are families in which this idea can work, however, looking around at our western society today, it seems pretty clear that it has not worked well.

One of the dangers of this anti-biblical teaching is that there is an entire generation of egotistical and entitled brats preparing to take over running the world.

The other major danger is theological.

God would never …

A good parent reprimands their children when they do something wrong or dangerous. It teaches them to be safe as they progress through life.

When we are not disciplined but taught that we can do nothing wrong, we begin to believe that we can do nothing wrong.

Besides becoming a society of ignorant jerks, we also risk our souls.

If we never do anything wrong, we see everyone else at fault (which can cost us jobs, relationships, our health, and safety). We also see no need for a savior. With no need for a savior, we see no need for the cross of Christ nor discipline.

We then hear statements such as “God would never cause someone pain or discomfort!”

However, the writer of Hebrews reminds us:

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.
Hebrews 12:5-7, NIV

Discipline is good, because it helps us mature and be capable of living responsible and well-balanced lives. Discipline keeps us out of trouble.

Discipline shows love.

Heavenly Father, help us understand the value of discipline, when and how to enact it, and that You use our circumstances to help us, that You may get all the glory!


Simple and Wise

Proverbs 21:11.

“When the scorner is punished, the simple is made wise: and when the wise is instructed, he receiveth knowledge.” (KJV).
“A simpleton can learn only by seeing mockers punished; a wise person learns from instruction.” (NLT).

Consequences and Punishment:

I started Kindergarten way back in 1977 (no jokes about how old I am, please!). Back then, principals and teachers were still allowed to exercise corporal punishment as a form of discipline. If a child misbehaved, and if the bad behaviour warranted it, they would get the strap. Now, although I was no saint, I never had the fortune (misfortune?) of receiving that form of discipline. However, I did have a friend who got the strap, and I knew enough to know that I never wanted to experience that form of discipline for myself.

Now, don’t read too much into my illustration and its connection to the above Proverb. I’m not saying that I was a simpleton, but I can tell you that by seeing someone else being punished for their disobedience, I learned a lot! I had no desire to be spanked for my wrong doing, so I did whatever I could to be good, or at least make sure that if I misbehaved, I didn’t get caught.

As a parent with four children in grades 5-11, one of the most frustrating things I see with our education system today is the fact that the teachers exercise little or no discipline over their students. If a teacher gives an assignment that is due on a certain date, and the majority of students don’t hand it in on time, then the teacher extends the deadline for the students. It seems like teachers don’t even have the power to be able to fail a student, even when they don’t complete any assignments. (In the teachers’ defense, I realize that they are a part of a system where they could not discipline even if they wanted to).

When I was in school, if we didn’t hand our assignments in on time, we would lose marks for every day it was late, and after a certain point, the teacher would no longer accept it! What lesson are teachers giving their students when they don’t have negative consequences for not handing in assignments? How will that help them when they get into the real world? The answer is: it won’t.

Wisdom and Instruction:

Solomon teaches us that a wise person can learn from instruction. In other words, they don’t have to learn from their mistakes. When mom and dad say, “Don’t touch the hot stove,” they trust the wisdom of their parents, and receive knowledge. When the preacher says, “Don’t sin, because sin kills,” we believe the truth of the Bible, and do whatever we can to avoid sin.

The reality is that we’re living in a world where there are consequences for our actions – either for good or for evil. And the sooner we learn that, and instill it in our children, the better.


Buddy or Parent?

Proverbs 13:24

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Since 2005, I have not only served at my church as Worship Pastor but I have also held the position of Children’s Pastor. Because of the structure of our children’s program, I have volunteers that are mostly dealing with the children on a week to week basis. I have found that I am begin to work more and more with the parents of these children.

I had a mom come to me a few years ago and she told me that her and her husband were having problems with their daughter not wanting to obey them. They said that they had tried just about everything and nothing seemed to work. I asked them how they disciplined their daughter when she disobeyed them and I was astonished by the response.

Her response was this: I don’t want to punish her because I want her to like me and if I punish her then she will not like me!

HUH? What kind of sense that does that make? I told them that their daughter does not need a “buddy” but a “parent”!

This Is Going To Hurt Me More Than You

As I was growing up, you could say that I had my fair share of spankings. Well, to be perfectly honest, I had a whole lot more than my fair share. My father always joked with me that each morning he was going to just go ahead and spank me because he was sure that I would earn it at some point during the day.

Before either my father or my mother would spank me, they would always say, “This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you.” I would always have the same thought go through my head – your not the one getting a spanking. How in the world is this going to hurt you more? It was not until I had a little girl of my own that I was able to have this question answered.

The Reason

After every spanking, my parents would take out their Bible and show me from God’s Word why they were disciplining me. They would turn to Proverbs 13:24 and read to me the words of Solomon. The reason that it hurt them more and the reason they disciplined me is that they loved me! They were not disciplining me because they wanted to be some kind of ruling tyrant, no, they were doing it because they loved me. The NIV says our verse this way, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

If we are children of God, why does HE discipline us? Because HE loves us! Revelation 3:19 says, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”

I praise the Lord for parents who disciplined me. Who took the time to tell me right from wrong; the good from the bad. Oh how I wish parents today would discipline their children the way my parents did me.

Lord, I pray that you would help me to love my child more and more each day. I pray that you would cause that love to discipline her when it is needed.  Help me to be the father that I need to be for my daughter so that I can train her according to Your Word.