Category Archives: conversation/speech

January 17, 2013

Studying or Spewing?

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 15:28

28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

Spewing Answers

I am pretty sure you know someone who is a “know-it-all”. These are the people who always have an answer for everything, whether what they know is accurate or even true.

One of the big dangers with the “know-it-all” type is that their answers can lead to big problems.

Take it from one of those know-it-all’s.

I used to respond to someone in any situation, and very rarely with “I don’t know.” Much of the time, I was answering people (whether or not they asked me) about other people and what they were or were not doing.

Many times, I would even answer people’s questions with information I had heard in passing, but I would pass off as hard facts the parts I had to fill in.

Do you know how many fights, strained or even ruined relationships, or feelings hatred/bigotry/fear I initiated due to my spewing mouth? (Neither do I)

Studied answers

Perhaps you know that person who rarely speaks, but when they do they sum up or finish a conversation with their amazing words of insight.

I wish I could say I am one of those, but I still have a long way to go. In any event, this is what this type of person is like:

This person listens more than the speak.
This person pays attention to the details, not just what people say.
This person thinks through what they will say, weighing all of the facts.

In other words, this type of person studies each word and action of others and themselves before speaking.

Christians

As Christians, we must study everything we say, each interaction we have with others.

Not only that, we must study God’s Word so that we are “ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear” (1 Peter 3:15).

Giving an answer that we think is true or that sounds right can be very dangerous. This is where heresy and blasphemies begin and spread. This is where non-Christians find reasons to avoid the Church and Jesus.

Lord Jesus, move in our hearts through Your Holy Spirit to seek and speak truth. Guide us in all truth that we might bring peace and healing rather than evil to this world.

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January 17, 2013

He Reads Minds

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 15:26

“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words.”

Reading Minds

I am not a mind reader, but I can usually tell you what my children are thinking. When they get angry with each other, they want revenge. When one gets hurt, the other is sad, but only on the outside…they laugh on the inside.

I have even become better at reading my wife’s mind. When she says that she is not feeling well, what she really wants is for me to make dinner, pay the bills, clean the house, and help the children with their homework. When she says, “Honey, let’s put the kids to bed early tonight,” what she really wants is to go to bed early…after watching the news. Pretty simple.

However, when it really comes down to knowing every little thought in a person’s mind, only God can do that (Hebrews 4:13-13). He even knows more than Santa Claus.

Hidden Thoughts

The wicked think they can fool God. They parade around doing good, like feeding the homeless, adopting orphans, or hammering a nail in a habitat. They go to church; have pews named after them; and occupy seats on the most influential boards; yet, inside they are “full of dead men’s bones.” Who are they kidding?

The wicked don’t have to do anything outwardly bad; Yahweh knows their thoughts. He knows their motivations. He can read their minds, even when their actions are an attempt to disguise.

Nothing Hidden

The pure of heart have nothing to hide. Their actions betray their thoughts in a good way. Their words are windows into hearts with proper intentions, and the Lord loves to hear them speak.

God doesn’t even have to hear the wicked speak to know what’s on their minds (Matt. 15:19). He says, “I know what you’re thinking, so don’t even say it.” But the pure, the righteous, are a different story altogether. He says, “Come, let us reason together…I’d love to hear what you have to say.“

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December 27, 2012

Sharing Information

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 15:7

7 The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so.

Politicians

Have you noticed that when it comes to politicians, there is a tendency to share a lot of information?

Have you noticed that when it comes to politicians, there is a tendency for that information to be used with just enough context to convince you of their stance.

Have you noticed that it happens on all sides of politics?

To be knowledgeable about what politicians say, in most cases it will take a lot of independent research. (In other words, be careful with politicians’ words.)

Over-sharers

Do you know those people who have no secrets?

Do you know those people who tell you all the details, including those that you did not need to know … or even ever wanted to know?

Do you know those people who just talk and talk and talk … and talk … and rarely have anything of value to say?

To be friends with these people, you learn not to share certain information around them. (In other words, they tend to be gossips.)

Secretive People

Have you met those who rarely share anything?

Have you met those people who hold their tongue unless pressed to speak?

Have you met those who think talking with people is either a waste of time or simply a bother?

They may usually be trusted with a secret, but they also may be those who simply hold on to evidence. (In other words, the tend to be boring or paranoid.)

Christians

With so many people who may know many things about truth but twist it, it is hard to trust what anyone says.

With so many people who talk too much, it is hard to put faith in anyone.

With so many people unwilling to share or trust, it is hard to open up to anyone.

Christians should have the greatest reason for speaking and listening.

Christians share the words of hope, the words of Life, the Wisdom of God.

Christians share the knowledge of Jesus Christ with a dishonest, untrustworthy world to bring change to lives.

Those who never share the knowledge of Jesus Christ reveal their foolishness.

Those who share the knowledge of Jesus Christ demonstrate wisdom.

Dear Lord, do not let us walk in foolishness, to share information but never knowledge. Help us to walk in wisdom, to walk in Your love. Help us share the knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus Christ with our lost world.

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December 24, 2012

Wholesome Words Needed

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 15:4

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.”
“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” – NIV

Healing Words

There are so many people in this world who are sick and suffering. Their suffering is not physical, necessarily, but emotional and spiritual. The world is full of down and discouraged men and women, but a word of comfort spoken with kindness can be like life-giving medicine.

A wholesome tongue, or a tongue that brings healing, is compared to a life-giving tree. Wholesome, nurturing, healthy words are like food for the soul; food that is found on a tree with roots that run deep, all the way down to the Water of life.

The unattractive need to hear that they are beautiful in God’s eyes. The broken hearted need to hear that there is One who understands and can make all things new. The lonely need to hear that they don’t have to be alone, but that there is One who will always walk beside them, even unto the end of the world. These people need healing words.

Perverse Words

What are “perverse” words? The husband who says to his wife, “You looked better when I married you.” The mother who says, “You’ll never amount to anything.” The friend who says, “Get over it! Just move on with your life.”

Perverse words bring no healing, only destruction. They are like a “breach in the spirit,” says Proverbs. In other words, they are like a crack in a dam which leads to total collapse. They are spoken by fools imitating the wise, and they are nothing but worthless.

“Hard words indeed break no bones, but many a heart has been broken by them.” – Matthew Henry

Words of Life

How can we speak words that resemble a tree of life? Be led by the Spirit of God, and let His words speak through us. A tongue that is guided by the Spirit will bring comfort to the hurting and healing to the wounded.

We must be more like Jesus in your actions. We must lead people to Him as we love as He loved. Speak truth, but encourage; discipline, but build up, and then you will see that “tree of life” bear fruit.

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December 18, 2012

Don’t Speak Too Soon

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 14:33 

“Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but that which is in the midst of fools is made known.”

Keep Quiet

One thing I learned from my father was to keep my mouth shut. No, not in the way that you may think…he didn’t tell me to be quiet…he just told me to watch my number of words.

My dad used to say, “You always appear smarter when you don’t tell all you know.” In other words, as long as your mouth is shut, people will never know how much or how little you actually know. They may just assume you are the wisest in the room. The one who runs off at the mouth is the one who exposes his ignorance.

Exposing One’s Ignorance

This proverb is about being quiet and letting things settle. It’s about knowing you have an answer, but waiting for others to share their mind. It’s about patience.

The man with understanding knows that the longer he listens to an argument, the better the response he can make when the moment is right. The fool jumps into the fray before he knows all the facts, exposing his ignorance too soon.

Watching Words

Did your parents ever tell you to “watch your mouth?” Mine did. They would also tell me to “think before you speak.” I can’t tell you how many times I have stood in the middle of a group of people without saying a word. When it did come time to say something, what I said stood out as something worth hearing, as opposed to more of the same.

Lord, help us to be prudent with our words, and may they always be a reflection of godly wisdom.

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December 10, 2012

Delivering or Deceiving?

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 14:25

25 A true witness delivereth souls: but a deceitful witness speaketh lies.

Oh, So Sweet

There is a terrible crime that has arisen within the Church. It first reared its evil head, oh, about 2000 years ago.

You see there have always been people who have twisted the message of the Cross to serve their own desires, whether that be for money, fame, or truly wicked schemes.

Paul once wrote, “Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.” (Galatians 1:7b, NIV)

Perhaps you have seen this today? If you are not sure, here are some examples of perverted gospels that can be found within organizations that call themselves churches:

No Sweet-Talk?

While some of these things are based on some truth, none of them are necessarily true.

Just before the reference above, Paul said “6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 which is really no gospel at all.” (Galatians 1:6-7a, NIV)

The truth is that the Gospel of Christ – while having some pretty sweet promises of God’s love, grace, and forgiveness, and everlasting life – is a message that convicts us of our sin and leads to repentance. It tells us that there is only One True God, and we can not get to God on our own, so He came for us. It tells us that the life of a believer will be difficult (John 16:33). It tells us God provides what we need (Matthew 6).

A deceitful witness will tell you what you want to hear or make you believe what he wants you to hear, and it will only end badly for both of you.

A true witness will tell you how much you need a Savior, how much You need a God full of love, mercy, and grace.

Merciful Father, thank You for the truth that is Your Son. Help us to believe His gospel and be a faithful witness to the world for the Gospel. Help us not to be deceived nor to deceive; rather move through us to save those who are deceived!

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November 22, 2012

Walk Away from Stupid

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 14:7

“Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.”

Product Lables

Some proverbs, such as this one, are pretty simple and straightforward. But on the other hand, as some product warning labels make abundantly clear, what should be obvious to most needs to be spelled out to others. Here are some examples:

  • “Don’t drive with shade in place” (warning on inside of cardboard sunscreen).
  • “Not for drying pets” (warning for microwave).
  • “Surface may be hot when turned on” (stove instruction manual).
  • “May cause a fire” (warning on box of matches).

If there were no stupid people in the world, the above warnings would be unnecessary. However, I am sure there have been people amazed when their hands were burned on a stove eye or by a match. I am positive that someone tried to sue a company because the microwave killed her wet cat.

Stupid People

In this proverb God has placed a warning label on stupid people. Yes, I said “stupid” people, for that is what the word translated “foolish” (סִיל – kesil) actually implies.[1] The Lord wants us to know that it is not good to just stand and listen to what fools have to say, especially when you realize that what they are saying is void of any knowledge.

So, to put this proverb another way, “When you find yourself in the presence of a stupid idiot, don’t bother listening to what he has to say; walk away.”

Now, it may seem ridiculous to make such a statement, but consider why it is important to not listen to what a fool has to say:

  • A fool does not accept instruction, so arguing with him is pointless.
  • A fool would love to frustrate you and make you angry as you try to argue your point.
  • If you listen to a fool long enough you might begin to believe the stupidity he preaches.

A Prayer

Lord, we need wisdom to be discerning. Help us to recognize those who lack words of knowledge. Help us to know when to contend and when to walk away. Help us to know the difference between a fool and someone who is open to the truth.

[1] Francis Brown, Samuel Rolles Driver and Charles Augustus Briggs, Enhanced Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon, electronic ed. (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, 2000), 493.

4 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , | posted in advice, conversation/speech, counsel, Fools, Knowledge, Warnings

November 20, 2012

Who’s Your Daddy?

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 14:5

5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.

I remember as a child being told not to lie. There were two reasons:

  1. “It hurts my feelings,” my mom or dad might say.
  2. “You will be in a lot of trouble!” was the usual reply.

This verse does not need much explanation in terms of what it means: Honest people tell the truth, liars lie.

Most people can tell you that in most instances a truth keeps you out of trouble, but a lie only digs you ever deeper into trouble.

It is also interesting that what story we tell becomes a habit, and it is learned from our father.

Father of Lies

Here is something many churches in the early Twenty-first Century have largely stopped telling those who enter their doors: as a sinner, you are a child of the Devil. It is understandable that lies would become a habit in your life if you take after your father.

You say that you can not believe this?

In John 8:44 (NIV), Jesus said “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

If you find you are prone to lie about anything and everything, I will give you three guesses as to who your spiritual father is. That equates to much trouble.

Father of Truth

Here is something that most churches in the early Twenty-first Century tell people: good people are from God. There is generally truth in this statement.

Some people tell the truth for the simple reasons that it is safer and could very well have health benefits. But being honest is no guarantee of peace.

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31-32, NIV).

Jesus knew we would be weak and tempted to lie, so He promised His followers, “When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me” (John 15:26, NIV).

This tells us that the Trinitarian God (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) are truth, and God helps us to live in truth, to live in Him.

Through Jesus Christ, we are adopted by God. He becomes our Father and teaches us the habits of truth.

Seek out the Lord Jesus Christ to be a child of light and truth.

Dear Lord, help us to live in Your truth. Help us to turn from our lies. Help us believe in the sacrifice on the cross that welcomes us into Your family.

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October 31, 2012

Proverbs 13:10 – My Pride Says I’m Right

By Daniel M. Klem

10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

I know I’m right

Have you ever listened to a parent talking with a teenager?

It can be fun, to say the least.

You see, a teenager has “seen it all” and “knows about everything” now that they have lived on this earth as long as they have.

A teenager “understands what the world is all about” and is “always in perfect control” of his or her life.

But you know, a parent has been through “everything” that a teenager is going through “knows all about everything” going on and how to solve every situation.

A parent “has to control” the family and everything that affects them.

Both sides know and can.

Not Listening

The problem that always comes in is that, sorry, teenager, you have not been around as long as your parents, and they have been through a lot more than you may ever know.

The problem that always comes in is that, sorry, parent, teens actually do go through different circumstances and know more than you may realize.

In other words, the reason so many fights break out between parents and teens is that both know everything going on and think they can control it. This usually includes not hearing what the other is saying, because each side is so sure that the other does not understand as much as they think.

And usually they are both right.

And usually they are both wrong.

Wisdom

Just like in any relationship – from parents and children to friends to spouses to complete strangers – contention arises because we fail to listen.

The wise choice is … wait for it … TO LISTEN!

Much contention, fights, and hatred could be avoided if we would just listen to each other, hear each side. Then, find your common ground and dialogue.

If you can not do it, get another person to help, but be willing to hear that person tell you that you are wrong (Matthew 18:15-17). Pride will tell you to fight it.

If you listen to pride, go back to the beginning of this little devotional.

Lord, teach us humility, even though it may hurt to get to it. Give us a heart to listen and hear and to admit when we are wrong. Give us the wisdom to listen to others and know when it is okay to speak (James 1:19)

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October 26, 2012

Proverbs 13:5

By Daniel M. Klem

5 A righteous man hateth lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and cometh to shame.

Loathsome Lies and Shame

I have shared before that as a child and teenager I had a habit of stretching the truth, spreading rumors, and flat-out lying. I was rather despicable.

In truth, I told these stories and fabrications to satisfy my own needs.

My need to feel important. (People actually listened to me!)

My need to feel accepted. (People listening felt like people liking me!)

My need to control my life. (That big lie we all believe at some point in our lives.)

Many times, I got caught in my deception. I felt shame and guilt. It led to hating people more and more.

Hating … in a good way

I also have shared before that  because of my deceitful tongue, I learned the importance of being open with people.

I started out hating people, because I felt that no one understood me and no one wanted to be with me.

I learned to hate those things that pushed people farther away. I learned how much God hates sin, and I wanted to hate what He hates.

Several chapters ago, we discussed some things God hates: specifically “lying lips”.

We should hate lies. We should love honesty and openness. Otherwise, we will find ourselves coming to shame and being hated.

Good Father, thank You for Your truth and confronting us in our lies. Thank You for Your forgiveness, mercy, and grace. Forgive those who continue in lies. Help us learn to hate anything that goes against Your truth.

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