Tag Archives: advice

September 23, 2015

Hating Yourself

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 15:32

“He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.”

Abused

People who have a history of abuse tend to have something else in common: they hate themselves thinking they caused the abuse they received.

It indeed is a sad way to go through life, but it is the reality many people face every day.

What is interesting and also sad is that there are people who have little to no reason to hate their lives, yet they abuse themselves. They abuse themselves with drugs, alcohol, food, lack of food, pain, and any number of other things.

The saddest of all are those who abuse themselves intellectually and spiritually, often intentionally.

Not Listening

There are some who refuse to give in to intellectual honesty. This is most often found in the realm of politics, but it can be seen everywhere. These are the people who are approached with facts, but they believe something else so strongly that they refuse to believe the evidence in front of them.

The others see the evidence of the spiritual and refuse to acknowledge it or to see its importance. It is often combined with intellectual dishonesty, but in any event it is the most dangerous.

Whether they follow a religion or are irreligious in any fashion (including within a faith-system … including Christianity and all of its facets), people will refuse to listen to the One True God.

Rebuked and Loving It

Those who listen to the God of the Universe come to understand that there is only One God (Deuteronomy 6:4), we are all messed up and in need of His saving us (Romans 3), and that Jesus is the only Way to salvation (John 14:6).

We realize that God has rebuked our sin and atoned for it through the Life, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is only because of His great love for us that He does rebuke our sin, that He came to personally pay the price to restore the relationship.

Do not hate your soul. Hear God speaking to you, and follow Him!

Gracious God, thank You for loving us enough to call out our sin and then saving us from our sin! Help us to see Your love for us, and help us to love You more for it.

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September 7, 2015

A Timely Word

By Jason Sneed

Proverbs 15:23

“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”

In yesterday’s Proverbial Thought – “Purposes Established!”, it was discussed just how important it is to seek counsel. Today’s verse we flip to the other side of the coin and talk about when someone come to us seeking advice what is our response. Today’s verse focuses on not only giving the right advice but giving it at the appropriate time. I love the way the HCSB says our verse, “A man takes joy in giving an answer; and a timely word — how good that is!”

The book of Proverbs contains many words of advice and wisdom regarding our speech. It also gives us several reasons for our words:

It’s All About the Timing

As it was says earlier, a wise person not only knows the correct response to give but also gives it at the correct time. This wise counsel was given to us in Ecclesiastes 8:5-6:

“Whoever keeps a command will know no evil thing, and the wise heart will know the proper time and the just way. For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.”

Proverbs 25:11 also tells us:

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” 

We have all either heard of stories or experienced them ourselves. The story of someone going through a hard time, having a loved one die or receiving some extremely bad news. And then it happens. Someone who is trying to console them with words tells them of their cousin’s best friend’s mother who went through the exact same thing but tells them of the horrific end that took place.

Why do we (yes, I have done this myself) think this is going to make them feel better? The timing was way off and not at all comforting to the receiver.

This reminds me Job. During the time that he was devastated by the news he had just received, three visitors came to him and basically started telling him it was all his fault. How is that for positive reenforcement!

Solomon is telling us in our verse that the proper words spoken at the proper time will be good news to both the giver of those words and the receiver.

So the next time you are going to give advice to someone, not only remember that there are right words to say but that there is also the right time to say them.

13 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in counsel, Knowledge, Uncategorized, Wisdom

September 7, 2015

Purposes Established!

By Chris Jordan

Proverbs 15:22

“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.” (KJV). 

I love the Bible, and especially the book of Proverbs! There is so much practical wisdom for daily living in God’s Word. Someone described the Bible once using this acrostic: B.I.B.L.E. = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. If the God who created the universe wrote a book, a detailed instruction manual for living life, then we would be wise to heed its advice.

In the above Scripture, Solomon tells us that there are many people who purpose or plan to do things but they are disappointed because of a lack of counsel. However, he says that there is wisdom in the multitude of counsellors. In other words, if you are trying to do something, don’t be so prideful that you try to do it yourself – get help! Seek wisdom and advice from others.

Towards the end of 2009, I had a dream to write a book. However, I had never written a book before. Sure, I had transcribed sermons and put together short little booklets and devotionals for our church family, but I had never written or published a full length book before. So, the first thing I did was I started talking to people. I got advice from writing buddies – from Wendy Neudorf, who is also a writer and blogger, who helped me edit my manuscript, to Nichole Forbes, my wife’s cousin who is also a writer and blogger. From their advice and that of many others – including words of wisdom I found in books and online blogs on writing – I began the task of writing a book.

In June of 2010, I published my first book – Supernatural: Contending for Signs and Wonders Today. I don’t believe my dream would have ever been fulfilled, nor would it have been as good as it was, without the advice and feedback from many wise and good friends.

As I pastor, I seek God’s wisdom and guidance on a regular basis concerning the mission and vision of our church family. I am so thankful for a great team of leaders that speak into my life and help me to make wise decisions concerning God’s church. I have our elders who pray together with me to discern God’s direction, and a church council who help me make decisions concerning our church finances and building use. It’s so true that there is wisdom in a multitude of counsellors! On our own, we have blind spots, weaknesses, and lack knowledge and experiences, and can greatly benefit from the wisdom and input of others.

The New Living Translation of the above Scripture says: “Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many counselors bring success.” Do you have a dream for your life, a goal or a plan that you want to accomplish? Talk to people about it. Get wisdom and counsel from people, from books, and of course ultimately from the Bible. Do this and you will see your purposes established!

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August 25, 2015

Wise Love Scorned

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 15:12

“A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise.”

Needing Correction

There is something that needs to be understood about a scorner. A scorner is one who scorns things, meaning they do not like someone or something or find something unnecessary, perhaps even evil in their sight.

It is fair to say that God scorns evil. However, God does not qualify as a scorner.

You see, a scorner is one who is rarely happy. They usually complain. It might be fair to say that a scorner usually is only happy when they are complaining about something.

Scorners also tend to be those people who demand their own way. (Perhaps you remember my discussing working in customer service on Proverbs 8:20-21, 10:17, and 14:17?)

This, then, means that scorners often need to have an attitude adjustment. In other words, they need correction on their behavior. But how does a scorner respond?

I’m with stupid

The scorner looks at a person who offers a more proper way to interact with others and thinks how stupid that person is. Think about it: when a scorner throws a big enough fit, they tend to get what they want. They have learned the ways of this world, so how dare anyone tell them how to live!

The scorner even learns, eventually, that anyone who “knows better” is simply out to ruin their life. (See? Complaining.) If this is the case, they would never seek out a person who tries to show them the right way to live.

It should mean that they avoid Christians.

Wise Christian

If you call yourself a Christian yet often find yourself agreeing with those who complain the most, are you truly living correctly yourself?

The wise person knows that complaining and scorning others is not God’s will.

If we are quick to dismiss someone else’s correction, it means we think we are smarter than them.

If we are quick to demand our own way, it means we think we are better than others.

If we only ever seek to be friends with those who complain or dismiss others, it means we are not with the wise.

Pride causes us to dismiss other people and their advice. Pride tells us to surround ourselves with like-minded people who will always agree with us.

Pride leads us to scorn others.

Pride leads us to scorn God.

The wise Christian will heed the advice of others. The wise Christian will seek out wise counsel.

The wise Christian will know this is the will of God.

Heavenly Father, guide us in all wisdom, and help us to accept Your correction however and through whomever it comes. Do not let us live in our own pride; instead may we seek You!

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August 2, 2015

Don’t Speak Too Soon

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 14:33 

“Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but that which is in the midst of fools is made known.”

Keep Quiet

One thing I learned from my father was to keep my mouth shut. No, not in the way that you may think…he didn’t tell me to be quiet…he just told me to watch my number of words.

My dad used to say, “You always appear smarter when you don’t tell all you know.” In other words, as long as your mouth is shut, people will never know how much or how little you actually know. They may just assume you are the wisest in the room. The one who runs off at the mouth is the one who exposes his ignorance.

Exposing One’s Ignorance

This proverb is about being quiet and letting things settle. It’s about knowing you have an answer, but waiting for others to share their mind. It’s about patience.

The man with understanding knows that the longer he listens to an argument, the better the response he can make when the moment is right. The fool jumps into the fray before he knows all the facts, exposing his ignorance too soon.

Watching Words

Did your parents ever tell you to “watch your mouth?” Mine did. They would also tell me to “think before you speak.” I can’t tell you how many times I have stood in the middle of a group of people without saying a word. When it did come time to say something, what I said stood out as something worth hearing, as opposed to more of the same.

Lord, help us to be prudent with our words, and may they always be a reflection of godly wisdom.

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June 9, 2015

Two Roads

By Chris Jordan

Proverbs 14:2

“He who walks in his uprightness fears the Lord, But he who is perverse in his ways despises Him.” (KJV).
“Those who follow the right path fear the LORD; those who take the wrong path despise him.” (NLT).

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost:

  • I shall be telling this with a sigh,
  • Somewhere ages and ages hence:
  • Two roads diverged in a wood and I –
  • I took the one less traveled by
  • And that has made all the difference 

Often, the references to roads in poetry are metaphors to make us think of our lives and how we live them. Even Jesus used this metaphorical sense in talking about roads when He said, “Enter by the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”  (Matthew 7:13-14).

Everyone wonders: how do we find the road to the blessed life?  Jesus said that this road is the road less traveled by – that there are few who find it – and that it will make all the difference, for this is the road that leads to life. I believe this is what Solomon was talking about in the above Proverb:

The First Road – The Wrong Path:

The first road that Jesus talks about is the wide road that leads to destruction. He says there are many people who walk on that road. Proverbs 14:2 says that those who are perverse in their ways – those who take the wrong path – show that they despise God by walking on this road. It’s like God put up a big sign that said, “Abandon hope all ye who enter here” and yet foolish people still choose that road. The road of sin, rebellion, and ultimately death. But there is another road…

The Second Road – The Right Path:

The second road that Jesus talks about is the narrow and difficult way that leads to life. He says that – sadly – there are few who find this road. Proverbs 14:2 says that those who walk in their uprightness – those who follow the right path – fear the Lord. And here is the key to walking on the right path. It starts with a fear of the Lord.

To fear the Lord doesn’t mean that we are afraid of Him. However, it does mean that we respect Him, and when He says, “This is the way, walk in it,” we obey. Because we trust Him. And we know that the commands that He gives to us are for our own good.

Today, you are standing at a crossroads. Two roads diverge in a wood. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for those who choose the easy way. But the road to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few find it. Take the narrow road – the road less traveled by. It will make all the difference in your life!

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May 5, 2015

Paying For It

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 13:13

“Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded.”

Scorn and Respect

There is a danger in avoiding responsibility and not listening to a warning.

Are you aware that we are each responsible for all of our decisions? Are you aware that every choice has a consequence?

The NIV states this verse thusly: He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects command is rewarded.

If you are told not to do something, and you do it anyway, you will pay for it. If you are told to do something and you do not do it, you will pay for it. Whether it be having an upset stomach for eating too many sweets before dinner, losing a friend for breaking trust, going to jail or prison, or losing your life, being told not to do something and doing it will cost you. It may not happen immediately (Think about heartburn! It comes hours after you ate that chili-cheese hot dog with hot sauce, not immediately!)

However, if you show respect and heed what you have been told, you will be paid back for that trust. Whether that comes through enjoying a great meal, growing closer to a friend, staying out of trouble, or having great health and/or wealth, it will go well with you in life.

Sometimes the consequences come later … much later.

I like the King James Version for the implication that comes through.

God has sent us commands by which to live. We all failed at keeping them perfectly.

God sent His Son, Jesus of Nazareth, the Jewish Messiah and the Word of God, to keep those commands perfectly and then suffer the ultimate price for our failure. In doing so, the commands are summed up in two simple commands:

  1. Love others!
  2. Love God … by loving others and believing that Jesus died that you may live.

If we “scorn instruction” and “despiseth the word” of God, we have the promise that we will be destroyed. While there is debate on what this means, there is a guarantee that it is not pleasant nor desirable (Revelation 20:14-15).

However, if we respect and fear God’s commands, we will be rewarded with eternal life and peace with God (Galatians 6:8).

Gracious God, forgive us for despising Your word and commands. Give us the grace and power to overcome our sinful desires and follow You. Help us to love others for Your glory.

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May 2, 2015

My Pride Says I’m Right

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 13:10

“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised [is] wisdom.”

I know I’m right

Have you ever listened to a parent talking with a teenager? It can be fun, to say the least.

You see, a teenager has “seen it all” and “knows about everything” now that they have lived on this earth as long as they have. A teenager “understands what the world is all about” and is “always in perfect control” of his or her life.

But you know, a parent has been through “everything” that a teenager is going through, “knows all about everything” going on, and how to solve every situation.

A parent “has to control” the family and everything that affects them; a teen thinks he can handle things himself.

Both sides know and can.

Not Listening

The problem that always comes in is that, sorry, teenager, you have not been around as long as your parents, and they have been through a lot more than you may ever know.

The problem that always comes in is that, sorry, parent, teens actually do go through different circumstances and know more than you may realize.

In other words, the reason so many fights break out between parents and teens is that both know everything going on and think they can control it. This usually includes not hearing what the other is saying, because each side is so sure that the other does not understand as much as they think.

And usually they are both right.

And usually they are both wrong.

Wisdom

Just like in any relationship – from parents and children to friends to spouses to complete strangers – contention arises because we fail to listen.

The wise choice is … wait for it … TO LISTEN!

Much contention, fights, and hatred could be avoided if we would just listen to each other, hear each side. Then, find your common ground and dialogue.

If you can not do it, get another person to help, but be willing to hear that person tell you that you are wrong (Matthew 18:15-17). Pride will tell you to fight it.

If you listen to pride, go back to the beginning of this little devotional.

Lord, teach us humility, even though it may hurt to get to it. Give us a heart to listen and hear and to admit when we are wrong. Give us the wisdom to listen to others and know when it is okay to speak (James 1:19)

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April 30, 2015

“Everybody’s Got Problems”

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 13:8

“The ransom of a man’s life [are] his riches: but the poor heareth not rebuke.”

A Wise Dad

One of the things I loved about my father was his ability to find the lighter side to any subject. He had the uncanny ability to find the faintest silver lining around the biggest, darkest cloud. That might explain why growing up poor wasn’t so bad.

Here are a few good examples of how my dad would look at things…

  • When he saw a horribly ugly dog, he said, “Well, he’s got white teeth.”
  • When he (and I) got hurt at work, he would say, “You haven’t worked until you shed some blood.“
  • When we had to move into a house that had no running water, electricity or telephone, and the sky could be seen between the boards on the walls, he would say something like, “Hey! It’s almost like camping out!”

And when it came to being poor, my dad knew how to keep things in perspective. He would remind us that being rich wasn’t all fun and games, but worry and stress, too. “The more money you have, the more you have to watch your back,” he would say. “But when you ain’t got noth’n, you ain’t got noth’n to steal.”

A Wise Proverb

Today’s proverb is trying to tell us that wealth may not be a bad thing, but it does have some inherent risks. The more wealth you have, the more likely someone will want to take it. And, the more money one has, the more he has to spend to stay alive.

On the other hand, as the second part of the verse points out, those who have less are less likely to listen to an extortioner or be kidnapped for ransom. He is more likely to say, “Sorry, but you can’t get blood from a turnip.”

The ESV translates it this way, “The ransom of a man’s life is his wealth, but a poor man hears no threat.”

Be Content

If there is anything else my dad would say, it would be this: “Be content with what you have, cause everybody’s got their own problems.” Don’t be so upset if you’re not wealthy; life for the rich may be a bed of roses, but with roses come a lot of thorns. That’s why the poor can sleep easier.

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” – Philippians 4:11 KJV

“If you’ve got it, be thankful. If you ain’t got it, be glad.” 

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April 16, 2015

Listen Like a Wise Son

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 13:1

“A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.”

The Hot Pot and Life

When I was a child, my parents warned me not to touch a pot sitting on the stove. “It is hot, and it will burn you,” they told me. (To test this, I waited until a few minutes after they shut off the burner under the pot, then I touched it. It was very, very warm!)

When my sister was told this same bit of information, she still reached for that hot pot. She was burned, because she did not listen.

As we grew older, our parents continued to give us advice and warnings about things. Sometimes it meant they had to punish us for not listening to them (such as taking a cookie after being told to wait until after dinner).

Many times, I avoided some things that would have caused pain or grief, because my parents warned me of the dangers, such as doing drugs, avoiding certain “goods” or services, and hanging out with certain crowds. (It does not mean I always listened, and it led to grief. Remember my examples with a young woman.)

A Loving Father

God is our Heavenly Father who has sent us warnings and guidance (Prophets, Jesus of Nazareth, Jesus’ Disciples, the Bible) about who we are by nature and the consequences of following our nature (sin) over Him.

If we are wise, we will listen to the Father’s instructions and live well.

If we scorn His teachings, we must deal His rebuke. Often times, His rebukes come about as the natural consequences of our sinful choices. Sometimes He denies us things we want, such as jobs, promotions, transportation, time with loved ones, and on and on.

Too many times we default to “God is punishing me! He must hate me!” The truth is that He is allowing us to live with our choices, because He loves us enough to give us what we want: Not Him.

Because that is what we are really choosing when we rebel.

Choose wisdom. Choose God.

Merciful God, thank You for Your Word and guidance. Give us the wisdom to choose You, and help us hear Your rebuke when we fail. Help us to live wisely with each other.

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