Don’t Remind Me!

Proverbs 17:9

“He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends.”
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” -ESV

Reminding

Have you ever had someone remind you of a mistake you made years ago? If you are a husband, like me, then the answer is “Yes!

photo (77)I may be running the risk of alienating many female readers, but men who are married know that mistakes made today are likely to be discussed tomorrow…and next month…and ten years from now. You see, wives are endowed by God with the uncanny ability to remember every time a man goofs up. I am convinced it’s an ability given to them to help even out the “weaker vessel” playing field.

However, I have also learned something else about wives – they know when to draw the line. If they wanted to, they could talk all day about the stupid things we men do; but they don’t (praise God). They remind us just enough to keep us humble, but not enough to break our spirits. Thankfully, most wives love their husbands.

Repeat Reminding

Sometimes, however, it is necessary to remind a person that is about to make a mistake what happened in the past. For instance, a true friend who might have been robbed by another friend who was drunk, or on drugs, might remind that person of his actions when he is tempted to take another drink. The reminder can be a warning designed to preserve a friendship, if not a life.

On the other hand, there are people who like to bring up the past on a regular basis. Their intentions are not to prevent anything, but to manipulate and control. That is what Solomon was talking about in today’s proverb.

The word translated repeateth is in the “active participle” tense.  So, to put it another way, the person who is losing friends is the one who is continually bringing up the past.

Gracious Love

Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.” In other words, it is hatred that keeps uncovering the pain of the past, but love heals as it covers. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that everything must be forgotten, for even though a bandage covers, the bandage only signifies a wound was there in the first place.

Of course, that’s what makes grace so great. Without sin there would be no need for grace; but because of sin, grace abounds. A love that is real is a love that testifies something is covered.

Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,

Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!

Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured,

There where the blood of the Lamb was spilt.

Grace, grace, God’s grace,

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God’s grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!

– Julia H. Johnston (Grace Greater than Our Sin)

 

 


Bribery and Corruption

Proverbs 17:8 

A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.
A bribe is like a lucky charm; whoever gives one will prosper! (NLT)

Other translations of this verse use the word bribe instead of gift. Strong’s translates the word as a donation, bribe, gift, present or reward. Matthew Henry’s take on this proverb is that: ‘Those who set their hearts upon money, will do any thing for it. What influence should the gifts of God have on our hearts!’ What influence indeed?

There is a further warning about gifts/bribes in the book of Exodus when the law was being given to the nation of Israel:

And thou shalt take no gift: for the gift blindeth the wise, and perverteth the words of the righteous. (Exodus 23:8 KJV)

My first experience of bribery occurred in the 1970s when there was port congestion in the Persian Gulf, and many ships and their crews waited months at anchor for a pilot and a berth in port to discharge or load cargo. I spent three weeks there at anchor in 1975. Each day a small boat would come out to us (and all the other ships) and a man in uniform would demand to see our Captain. Each day the request was the same, “200 cigarettes and a bottle of whisky, Captain, and you get your pilot tomorrow.” No doubt many captains were tempted to provide such a bribe, uncertain of whether the uniformed official had the power to provide a pilot. Our Captain refused to meet such requests. He had other plans. But similar challenges were often faced in other foreign ports when various officials expected to be paid to make things happen. Like the man in the uniform in the Persian Gulf, their hearts had become focused on what they could get in material terms.

I think Matthew Henry got the meaning of this verse absolutely correct. If money and the like are what warm your heart, then eventually you may do anything for the sake of money or gifts. What influence should the gifts of God have on our lives? How are we investing these gifts, and how are they changing our values? Jesus taught that it was more important to seek the Kingdom of Heaven than anything else:

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. (Matthew 13:45-46 NIV)

Fool for Christ

Proverbs 17:7 

“Excellent speech becometh not a fool: much less do lying lips a prince.”
“Eloquent words are not fitting for a fool; even less are lies fitting for a ruler.” (NLT)

If you Google ‘Prince Philip gaffes’ you might be surprised to read some of the things the husband of Queen Elizabeth has said in an official capacity. It’s not that Prince Philip is a fool. On the contrary he is an educated man who served as an officer in the Royal Navy. He has also been an excellent husband who has never failed to support the Queen as she has served the UK since 1952. Prince Philip just has a knack of putting his foot in it. Examples include:

  • To Cayman Islanders: “Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?”
  • To Scottish driving instructor, 1995: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?”
  • When offered wine in Rome in 2000, he snapped: “I don’t care what kind it is, just get me a beer!”
  • To Elton John on his gold Aston Martin in 2001: “Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car, is it?”
  • “Where’s the Southern Comfort?” When presented with a hamper of goods by US ambassador, 1999.

While Prince Philip may be able to get away with making numerous verbal gaffes, his wife the Queen cannot. If you Google ‘Queen Elizabeth gaffes’ the results all feature gaffes made by other people when dealing with the Queen. As the constitutional monarch of the UK the Queen has ruled with wisdom for over sixty years. She is widely respected, even by citizens who do not approve of royalty.

Although this proverb speaks of fools and princes it has a message for all who profess to be followers of Jesus, who Timothy says will reign with Him:

If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us; if we are faithless,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot disown himself. (2 Timothy 2:11-13 NIV)

Paul admitted being a fool for Christ (1 Corinthians 4:10) but we need to be very careful in what we say, and how we speak. The advice given by James is that we should be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). Lies are but one of many things that are not fitting for someone who is destined to rule with Christ.


Raising Them Right

Proverbs 17:6
Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.”

Being a Parent

One of the things that is discussed regularly in the men’s group attend is how fathers and sons do not talk to each other.

There are some men with sons have stopped talking to them. There are some men whose father’s barely acknowledge them.

The biggest issue is communication, obviously, though the reasons in each individual circumstance is different. The biggest issue always seemed to stem from how good of a parenting job was done.

Regardless of how well parents parented, sometimes it is the events later in life that lead to closeness or division.

Becoming “Grandpa” (or “Grandma”!)

A surefire way to tell if you have made it as a parent – whether as raising your children or after they have grown; whether you were a rambunctious child or a sweet and innocent child who now has children of your own – is the Grandparent Test.

One of the men in my group longs to meet his grandchildren from his estranged son. This is a godly man, so no one can understand why his son will not allow him to meet his grandchildren.

Yet, here is a family who shows the parents are loved by their children, even if only a little bit: the proud children spend much time taking their children to grandma and grandpa’s home (or “Nana and Papa” or “Nani and Papi” or whatever!).

The grandparents want to show off their grandchildren to anyone who will listen. The parents of those children eagerly want them to!

The Christian

How do you live your life in Christ?

Do you help win others to the Lord, or do you do your own thing?

If you only do your own thing, you are like the parent who avoids their children and the child who avoids their Father.

If you help win others to the Lord and train them in the ways of godly living, you are like the parents who are invested in their children’s lives and can not wait to show them to your Father in Heaven!

Heavenly Father, help us to love our families with Your love. Help us to realize that the Church is our family, and You are our Father. Help us to love all people in a way that Our love is overflowing. Please, bless our families.


Making Fun of the Poor

Proverbs 17:5

“Whoso mocketh the poor reproacheth his Maker: and he that is glad at calamities shall not be unpunished.”

Me? Poor?

I live in one of the richest countries on the planet, so who am I to talk about being poor? Compared to some people, I am rich as a king. Even though I may not have the best of everything, or even the third or fourth best, I am still better off than people who have to live in cardboard boxes under a bridge.

Even thought I may not be rich, there are plenty of people worse off than me. However, I do know a little about what it’s like to be mocked. My sister and I were made fun of because my parents couldn’t always afford to buy their children new clothes. When we lived in a house that had no electricity or running water, and one could see the sky through the walls, we were mocked. I know how that feels.

For that matter, I know how it feels to drive a school bus full of public high school football players to a game at a private school where the tuition for one student exceeds $40,ooo a year, not to mention room and board. Not only do the football players get sneered at, but bus drivers like me get treated as “common help.”

Me? Like God?

The lesson that Solomon wants us to learn is that when we mock or make fun of those who poorer than us, we make ourselves out to be better than God. “What? How’s that possible?” you ask.

What if God treated us the way we sometimes treat others? Seriously, is the richest man in the world, even if he owned the whole world, as rich as the Maker of the Universe? The richest of the rich in this world are living in inestimable poverty before the King of Heaven. Aren’t we glad He doesn’t make fun of us?

Thankfully we have a loving Lord who humbled Himself unto death, even the death of the cross (Phil. 2:8), that we, the poorest of all, could become fellow-heirs with Christ (Eph. 3:6). If He doesn’t feel it proper to mock lowly sinners such as I, then who am I to mock one less fortunate than me?

Wishing Bad

But what if you have never been one to make fun of the poor, or the rich? Does that get you off the hook? Maybe. That is, unless you’ve ever been one to talk of the rich with words like, “I hope they go broke,” or, “I’d love to see them crash that fancy car!”

I asked my daughter, “How do rich people make fun of poor people?” She said, “I don’t know…all I ever hear is all the poor people griping and whining about the rich.” Hmmm.

What did Solomon say? “He that is glad at calamities will not go unpunished.” Maybe we all would be a little better off if we learned to be content.


What Are You Listening To?

Proverbs 17:4

“A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue.” (KJV).

Be Careful What You Hear:

There is an old Sunday school song that says, “Oh be careful little ears what you hear!” It’s a fun song, but it also promotes a very Biblical principle. Jesus Himself said, “Therefore take heed how you hear.” (Luke 8:18a). To take heed means to be careful. We need to be careful what we choose to listen to! Words are powerful, and words can either bring life or death into people’s lives.

In today’s Scripture, Solomon gives us warnings about two different kinds of people: Wicked people, and liars. He tells us that a wicked person will give heed – or listen – to false lips, and a liar will give ear – or listen – to a naughty (malicious, spiteful, destructive) tongue. We know that as Christians, God doesn’t want us to be a wicked person or a liar. Therefore, we would be wise to not listen to false lips or naughty tongues.

False Lips and Naughty Tongues:

There are many false lips and naughty tongues in the world today. Wicked people and liars will use their lips and tongues to tell lies, slander people, gossip about others, and stir up strife and disunity – in families, churches, and indeed all relationships. Therefore, we must be on our guard against such people! It’s sad to say that you can even find those people… in the church. As a pastor, I can tell you that there is nothing more dangerous or harmful in a church than people who will stir up strife and division through their negative words!

So what do we do when we find ourselves surrounded by people with false lips and naughty tongues? We can’t just go and bury our heads in the sand or move into a monastery, can we? Of course not. However, we must still guard our hearts from such negative words. Elsewhere in Proverbs, Solomon gives us this warning: “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Prov. 4:23). (Click HERE to read Jason’s devotional about this Scripture). Our ears and eyes are the windows to the heart, so we must be careful what we put into them.

How to Guard the Heart:

How can we keep our heart from being affected by hearing negative words – lying, strife, gossip, slander and more? First of all, make a decision that you will not allow your heart to be a garbage can for other people’s negative words. The next time someone starts gossiping to you, or talking negatively about someone else, refuse to listen to it. (And remember this – if someone will gossip to you, they will gossip about you! This is not the kind of friend you need…). And secondly, make a decision that you will watch your words, and make sure that no negative speech comes out of your mouth. Use your words to bring life to people!

Here’s a link to a youtube video of the old Sunday school song Oh Be Careful Little Eyes:

 


Golden Hearts

Proverbs 17:3 

“The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the Lord trieth the hearts.”

Gold refining 1A friend of mine used to work for a company that specialized in precious metals. He gave me a factory tour several years ago. It was interesting to see the difference between raw materials and unrefined items, and the final product be it silver and gold bars, or jewelry supplies and products.

I remember the tremendous heat involved in the refining process and the large vault in which everything was secured, before and after refining. Everything in that factory was of value, regardless of where it was in the production line. Refining added value, as did the process of transforming silver, gold and other materials into jewelry. Needless to say, I had to undergo an airport type search before leaving the factory.

imagesThe point is that every human being was created by God in His image and is of value to God, whether they are still rough around the edges, undergoing a refining process, or fast approaching becoming a finished product. God sees value in us all, but He needs to take us in our unrefined state and add further value. The only problem is that most of us do not want to pass through the heat of the furnace.

The Hebrew word used for trieth in this proverb may also be translated as test, investigate, examine, prove, tempt, try (by trial). Each of these words describes part of the process God applies to us. We cannot expect it to be a walk in the park. This is serious stuff. But consider the end result!

Imagine a worker in the precious metal factory handling a shiny gold bar having watched it take shape from the point it entered the production line as dirty unrefined ore or nuggets. Imagine the joy of holding the finished product and seeing your reflection in it. Then imagine how God feels when He can finally see Himself reflected in one of us.

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold
 
Refiner’s fire
My heart’s one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will
 
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within
 
Brian Doerkson
 

Refiner’s Fire – Christy Nockels