Tag Archives: Speech

May 2, 2015

My Pride Says I’m Right

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 13:10

“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised [is] wisdom.”

I know I’m right

Have you ever listened to a parent talking with a teenager? It can be fun, to say the least.

You see, a teenager has “seen it all” and “knows about everything” now that they have lived on this earth as long as they have. A teenager “understands what the world is all about” and is “always in perfect control” of his or her life.

But you know, a parent has been through “everything” that a teenager is going through, “knows all about everything” going on, and how to solve every situation.

A parent “has to control” the family and everything that affects them; a teen thinks he can handle things himself.

Both sides know and can.

Not Listening

The problem that always comes in is that, sorry, teenager, you have not been around as long as your parents, and they have been through a lot more than you may ever know.

The problem that always comes in is that, sorry, parent, teens actually do go through different circumstances and know more than you may realize.

In other words, the reason so many fights break out between parents and teens is that both know everything going on and think they can control it. This usually includes not hearing what the other is saying, because each side is so sure that the other does not understand as much as they think.

And usually they are both right.

And usually they are both wrong.

Wisdom

Just like in any relationship – from parents and children to friends to spouses to complete strangers – contention arises because we fail to listen.

The wise choice is … wait for it … TO LISTEN!

Much contention, fights, and hatred could be avoided if we would just listen to each other, hear each side. Then, find your common ground and dialogue.

If you can not do it, get another person to help, but be willing to hear that person tell you that you are wrong (Matthew 18:15-17). Pride will tell you to fight it.

If you listen to pride, go back to the beginning of this little devotional.

Lord, teach us humility, even though it may hurt to get to it. Give us a heart to listen and hear and to admit when we are wrong. Give us the wisdom to listen to others and know when it is okay to speak (James 1:19)

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April 27, 2015

I Was Despicable

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 13:5

“A righteous [man] hateth lying: but a wicked [man] is loathsome, and cometh to shame.”

Loathsome Lies and Shame

I have shared before that as a child and teenager I had a habit of stretching the truth, spreading rumors, and flat-out lying. I was rather despicable.

In truth, I told these stories and fabrications to satisfy my own needs.

My need to feel important. (People actually listened to me!)

My need to feel accepted. (People listening felt like people liking me!)

My need to control my life. (That big lie we all believe at some point in our lives.)

Many times, I got caught in my deception. I felt shame and guilt. It led to hating people more and more.

Hating … in a good way

I also have shared before that  because of my deceitful tongue, I learned the importance of being open with people.

I started out hating people, because I felt that no one understood me and no one wanted to be with me.

I learned to hate those things that pushed people farther away. I learned how much God hates sin, and I wanted to hate what He hates.

Several chapters ago, we discussed some things God hates: specifically “lying lips”.

We should hate lies. We should love honesty and openness. Otherwise, we will find ourselves coming to shame and being hated.

Good Father, thank You for Your truth and confronting us in our lies. Thank You for Your forgiveness, mercy, and grace. Forgive those who continue in lies. Help us learn to hate anything that goes against Your truth.

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April 8, 2015

Unstooping the Back

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 12:25

“Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.”

Pain & Sadness

When I was engaged to be married to a woman who was not quite right for me, it dragged us both down. When I knew God did not want me with that woman, I knew I had to end the relationship.

The bad news is that I did not want to. This led to a deep depression. My heart was so heavy that it held me in place, emotionally and physically. I was practically useless for a couple of weeks and literally useless for a few days, those last days of which I sat slouched on a couch not moving except to go to the bathroom.

My heavy heart literally made me stoop and slouch.

I was in mourning for a relationship that had yet to end.

Good Words

It seemed that nothing anyone said could help.

The thing that did it was a dear brother in the Lord saying “God loves you. Show Him you love Him, too.”

It made me realize how to live out Jesus’ words: “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)

I needed to show God that I loved Him more than anything or anyone else. It took a friend’s words to lift me up and make me move.

Kindness & Love

It is a great kindness to share a good word with someone with a heavy heart full of pain and/or sadness. It should be done with love, and that love should be the love of God.

Someone can offer a kind word, even a good word, to someone, but if it is done at the wrong time or in the wrong way it can have the opposite effect.

Sometimes, the best thing to say is nothing at all. It is just to sit there, to be there.

God of mercy and kindness, thank You for leading us to and through those times of pain and sadness. Thank You that You also provide us with those people and words that can lift us up to gladness, again. Give us a heart to share that love and kindness to others, and give us the wisdom to know when to speak and when to simply be there.

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March 12, 2015

Good Heathen?

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 12:17

“[He that] speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.”

Pretty Clear

This is one of those passages that does not need much explanation. Yet, to sum it up even more: Truth is good; lies are bad.

I think there is definitely more to this, however.

Bad Christian!

First is the negative message: Good people occasionally lie.

I will now rewrite the second half of the verse: “a false witness shows deceit.”

This is why even “little, white lies” fall under “not good” or even “bad” with some people. It is still bearing false witness. It is still deceitful.

It does not necessarily mean a person is full of deceit. In fact, “little, white lies” are often told to spare someone pain, to not hurt the feelings of someone else. Sadly, something is still covered up, hidden, which should be made known.

Good heathen!

As much as some Christians can not or struggle to admit, there is some good in all people. I am fairly certain that carries over from Creation, seeing as “God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27). All of humanity carries at least a little bit of God in them.

Therefore, it is possible for non-God-fearers to show forth righteousness. They may not be righteous, but they can still tell the truth (and do other good deeds).

Go and do likewise

Since we now know that speaking truth is showing righteousness, let us get out and spread some righteousness!

People are only made righteous through the work of God, and He desires for all people to cry out to Him.

But like it says in Matthew 5:

16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

And as Romans 10 says:

13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

Father God, rid us of deceit and lies. Let us only speak what is true. May You embolden us ever more to speak the truth of Your Son, Jesus Christ, that others may hear and glorify Your Name!

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February 9, 2015

Powerful Words

By David

Proverbs 12:6

“The words of the wicked [are] to lie in wait for blood: but the mouth of the upright shall deliver them.”
“The words of the wicked are like a murderous ambush, but the words of the godly save lives.” (NLT)

The Power of Words

Words have great power. Words can build up, and words can tear down. Words can point in the right direction, but words can also lead astray. Words can encourage, and words can cripple. Words can heal, and words can hurt. There can be no doubt that words spoken thoughtlessly or without wisdom can cause untold damage. The statement in this proverb that words can be like a murderous ambush provides a serious warning about how we choose to speak, and the words that leave our lips.

Be Careful What You Say

As a teenager I can remember being told to put my brain in gear before opening my mouth! This was good advice. Before we open our mouths we have to consider how our words will be received. What is their purpose? Every word is important. Every word has the potential to be good or to be evil. Be careful what you say!

Say What You Need To Say

Then there are the words that we find difficult to say. These are the words that should restore relationships, or ‘save lives’ as the NLT translates this proverb. We all know what these words are, and we have all struggled to say them with heartfelt meaning. These are words for our families, and for our friends:

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

Remember that it is not only the words we speak, but also how we say them. I know when my children are sorry, and I know when they are not. They know when I have forgiven them, and they know when I haven’t.

Then there is God and the things we say to Him. God knows our hearts completely. He knows when we are sorry, and He knows when we are not. He knows when we are hungry for Him, and He knows when we have no space for Him in our busy lives. Here are three words we need to say to Him with meaning.

“I love You.”

Say what you need to say.

Listen

Say what you need to say (Say – John Mayer).

Be careful little lips what you say. For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray (Casting Crowns – Slow Fade).

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , | posted in affection, Armour and Weaponry, conversation/speech, pride/humility, The Wicked, Value and Worth

December 2, 2014

A Tattler No More

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 11:13

“A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.”

There is a reason verse thirteen comes after verse twelve (other than the logical number sequence). As implied and stated yesterday, all people are our neighbors, and what we do and say with/about one person easily comes out around others including loved ones. It comes out of what is in our hearts.

Tattle-tale

In middle and high school (late primary and early secondary school, for all of you who think of it that way), after years of bullying and before being led to the arms of Christ, I let the things of life get to me. It started with not liking certain people, which grew to hating certain people, which grew to hating pretty much all people, which grew to even hating myself. I hid the truth of how I felt, because I was sure no one would understand … or that they might stop me from finding enjoyment.

The only enjoyment I seemed to find was in causing dissension, getting a rise out of others. My method of choice:

Making up stories or discovering stories that others wanted secret and then spreading them.

Needless to say, I did not help matters with my personal life (though, I did get quite good about covering my slandering tracks … not a good thing, to be sure). But I did not care.

It caused more pain than pleasure, not only for others but also me.

Faithful

I know God changed me because of this.

I went from spreading stories out of my hatred to wanting to not cause pain and usurp hatred in my life. In fact, some loved ones jokingly loathed how I changed!

I still spread stories and revealed facts that some found embarrassing, but they were always about me. I learned that to avoid hatred and evil growing within me, keeping myself accountable meant keeping others in the know.

Instead of other people’s dirty laundry, I share my own. It hurts at times, but people know a) how to pray for me and b) that I do understand many things they may be going through.

I do not share, however, everyone else’s secrets. God is gracious enough to forget and help me grow past my sins, so I can forget and help people grow past their secrets and sins. If they are to be shared, the other person can share.

I am only trustworthy because of God. That is really the main point.

Lord, grow in me a faithful spirit. Let others know that I can be trusted with their hurts and secrets. Let others know they can find love in me, because You are in me.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in conversation/speech, Faithfulness

December 1, 2014

What’s In Your Heart?

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 11:12

“He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.”

Have you watched any TV or movies in the past few decades and seen those stories with neighbors that fight about who has the best lawn, the best toys, or the best Christmas decorations?

Most of the best end (or at least have middles) with these enemies coming together to work together or even in friendship.

War and Peace

The funny thing about all of these stories is that these neighbors (usually men, but sometimes women or both) fail to see just how much in common they have with each other, even to the point of hating something both parties have in common, or go beyond reason in their hatred. It is as if they have declared war, not only against their neighbor, but against common sense and reason.

These neighbors spread rumors, sabotage each others’ endeavors, and openly mock each other without realizing how foolish they look to most other people.

Many times, this attitude ends up carrying over to others, including family and friends.

Compare this to the neighbor everyone loves and wants to be around.

This neighbor often lends a helping hand to others, even those people others might not be inclined to help … including unliked neighbors.

This neighbor rarely, if ever, has anything bad to say about others, oftentimes because of an understanding of how bad hurtful words can feel.

You and I

What about us? Have you considered the words that leave your mouth? Do you think about what you say before you say it?

Do you know what is in your heart?

But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: – Matthew 15:18-19 KJV

Perhaps the reason neighbors can not get along, people look and sound foolish, and we say things that we are ashamed of later is that we have those things listed above in our hearts.

You and I need to lift each other up as we seek the heart of Jesus Christ. We must help each other in our desire to have Jesus change our hearts to be like His.

You and I, to be able to hold our tongues and no longer have the need to hold our tongues, need the Wisdom of God, Jesus Christ, dwelling in our hearts.

Heavenly Father, without You we have evil hearts and defiled tongues. Through the power of Your Holy Spirit, live in our hearts and change them to be like Your Son’s. Teach us to love our neighbors. Give us Wisdom to not only say what needs to be said but to want to choose You.

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October 16, 2013

The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 26:24-26

24 He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him;
25 When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart.
26 Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation.

24 Enemies disguise themselves with their lips,
    but in their hearts they harbor deceit.
25 Though their speech is charming, do not believe them,
    for seven abominations fill their hearts.
26 Their malice may be concealed by deception,
    but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. (NIV)

The Big Shots

Yesterday, David looked at verse 23 dealing with those who cover up their wickedness to look good. These verses come out of that.

He mentioned the religious leaders of Jesus’ day. Today we tend to think about politicians or corporate bigwigs that put up a front to look good for their employees or their constituents. In truth, they are only out for their own gain.

The really bad ones are those who will stop at nothing, hurt anyone to get what they want or to be entertained.

The Church Enemy

The scariest ones are those in the Church.

Who are they? They are the church-goers who:

  • Gossip (sometimes through “prayer requests”)
  • Complain about everything at the church
  • Complain about everything in life
  • Live two separate lives: one at church and one everywhere else
  • Purposefully disobey the pastor or church teachings
  • Cause divisions (start fights, spread malicious rumors, etc.)
  • Give the minimum effort (and usually have excuses)
  • Never give any effort at church (and always have excuses, if they talk about it)
  • Those who justify every action they take (usually with “But you have to understand …”)
  • Who start debates with “I am a Christian, so …” and then attempt to defend non-Christian behaviors and actions.

I could go on for a very long time. They act like they love others, but they really hate.

The question is …

Did you see yourself in that list?

The scariest enemy is the one who acts like your friend. Read Galatians 5:19-21 for Paul’s list of who they are.

Heavenly Father, help us to remove all the falseness and pretense from our lives. Create in us a clean heart free of all malice, deceit, and wickedness. Help us to be followers of You and not the father of lies.

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August 25, 2013

Out of Context

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 24:7

7 Wisdom is too high for a fool: he openeth not his mouth in the gate.
7 Wisdom is too high for fools; in the assembly at the gate they must not open their mouths. (NIV)

Not Where It Belongs

I work in a classroom for children with autism. One of the more exasperating, yet somewhat funny, things about this job is how many times we have to stop the children from doing something gross.

One of their favorite pastimes, it would seem, is picking up something from the floor and immediately sticking it into their mouths.

We exclaim “That is not where it belongs! Spit it out!” We frequently have to “help” them with following that command.

We cannot get them to understand that what they are doing is wrong.

Not Where They Belong

In ancient times, the leaders and older men of a town would meet at the main gate for the town to discuss matters. People throughout the town knew they could go to these men for advice or to resolve disagreements.

These men were respected for their wisdom in matters, because they could usually teach from experience and the Torah (the Five books of Moses, or Genesis through Deuteronomy).

A person who refused to learn from his experiences and continue to make stupid mistakes therefore would have no place to give advice. His wisdom is not wisdom.

Bad Teachers

Others who should not give advice are some Christians.

These are the people who teach about Jesus and the Bible, but either they have not read the Bible or they do not understand what they are saying.

It is like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof quoting scripture that does not exist, only instead of being endearing it can lead others to heresy or drive non-Christians from the truth. They take things out of context or make up information. When confronted, they only get defensive and refuse to look at or change themselves.

Wise God, help us overcome our foolishness, and through Your Holy Spirit guide us in all wisdom. Remind us when it is better to hold our tongues than share what we do not understand.

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July 27, 2013

Tongue-Tied

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 22:12

12 The eyes of the Lord preserve knowledge, and he overthroweth the words of the transgressor.

Getting Confused

In Genesis chapter 9, immediately after the Flood, God told Noah’s family to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.

So what did the people do within a few generations?

In Genesis 11 we find that they tried to settle in one place together and build a tower to live in there. It became known as the Tower of Babel, because these people transgressed God’s command. They refused to do as God commanded, so he confused their languages (the creation of different languages) and scattered them around the planet (the creation of different people groups).

In other words, God overthrew their words.

Preserved through Denial

However, God has a knack for keeping around some faithful friends.

This is the real reason Israel was established: to keep the record of God’s goodness and expectations of humanity, and to bring about His reconciliation with the world.

Israel could barely maintain a small minority of faithful followers, though. As a nation, they largely denied God’s truth.

Today, we live in a world of people who present confusing “facts.” Even when their own facts go against reason, they persist in their arrogance and often cause more confusion.

This is true within and outside of the Church.

Fortunately, God preserves sound knowledge through His Bible, through His Holy Spirit, and through a relative few who study matters and come to clear conclusions.

Are you slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19) and therefore grow in and preserve knowledge, or do you repeat whatever sounds good to you and spread confusion?

Wise Lord, help us to control our minds and tongues, that we may not cause more confusion and chaos but peace and understanding.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in conversation/speech