Category Archives: advice

October 31, 2016

Ditches and Pits

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 23:26-28

“My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.”
“O my son, give me your heart. May your eyes take delight in following my ways. A prostitute is a dangerous trap; a promiscuous woman is as dangerous as falling into a narrow well. She hides and waits like a robber, eager to make more men unfaithful.” – NLT

Blunt Truth

Some people have a habit of over-spiritualizing verses in the Bible. Sure, all scripture is profitable (2 Tim. 3:16), but it is not always necessary to look deeper than the surface for meaning and application. The meaning of these verses is pretty simple and simply blunt.

Newer versions of verse 27 have changed the words a little. Instead of the word “whore,” newer versions are likely to substitute “prostitute” and “harlot.” But the truth is still the same, even if people wan’t to change their labels: a whore is a deep ditch and a strange woman is a narrow pit.

Warnings

Almost every time one turns on the television there is a commercial for some kind of medication. Ten seconds of the commercial tells about its benefits, while the rest of the 60 seconds is warning after warning, like, “Don’t take this medication with food, water, or oxygen, or you might grow gills and start yelling ‘Who’s your daddy?‘ in the middle of church.”

Warnings are everywhere, but how often are our young men warned of the dangers women pose? Hmmm? Not all women are sugar and spice and everything nice; many resemble arsenic, cyanide, and everything evil. Sadly, we live in a culture that promotes promiscuity and infidelity. Boys are not warned as much as they are praised for their lack of control.

Solomon knew better. Solomon wanted his son to understand that sometimes all is not what it seems behind those pretty eyes and blinking lashes.

Dangerous and Deadly

Men are usually made out to be the sexual predator. Indeed, men are responsible for most sex crimes. But there are countless men, marriages, and families that are destroyed by promiscuous, flattering women. They are described as deep ditches, narrow pits, and narrow wells – things men fall into, but can’t escape.

Sexual sin is mentioned so much in Proverbs because it is addictive and deadly, both to the body and soul. Many young men fall in head-over-heels only to find out there’s no climbing out.

Before one drinks from the sweet water of another’s well (Prov. 5:15), he should be warned of the trap that is set. For the huntress, faithful men are choice prey and always in season.

Related articles

1 Comment   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in advice, marriage, Warnings

October 27, 2016

The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth

By David

Proverbs 23:23 

Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding.
Buy the truth and do not sell it – wisdom, instruction and insight as well. (NIV)

Have you ever seen truth for sale in a supermarket? It is sometimes a fact that product labeling hides the truth that something may be bad for our health, or that our bargain is the result of a supplier taking a loss so that the supermarket can make even larger profits. Who do you think funds the ‘buy one get one free’ promotions? Not the supermarket, that’s for sure.

Perhaps selling the truth might be a good sales tactic. Potential customers might flock to a store with a reputation for truthfulness. In a 1970s UK sitcom a certain Reginald Perrin set up a shop called ‘Grot’ with sales slogans such as; ‘every single thing in this shop is guaranteed absolutely useless,’ and ‘plenty of gifts for people with no taste.’ The fact that the shop was a runaway success was an indication perhaps of the value that Reggie Perrin’s customers placed on the truth. Within two years Grot expanded to a chain of forty-four shops.

Solomon knew the value in truth. He measured its worth on an equal basis with wisdom, instruction, and understanding. If we value the truth too, then we have a responsibility to ensure that we are as truthful with others as we expect others to be with us. Honesty is so important that it was included among the Ten Commandments (do not testify falsely against your neighbor – Exodus 20:16). Jesus taught that we will all be required to give an account on judgment day of every idle word we speak (Matthew 12:36). An idle word could be an untruth, a word spoken without thought, or an opinion expressed without understanding. A wise person takes the greatest of care with items of great value. How careful are you with the truth?

3 Comments   |  tags: , , | posted in advice, Relationships, Truth

October 21, 2016

Listen to Father

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 23:22

“Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.”

Many young people never experience the comfort and security of a strong father who provides and a caring mother who doctors wounded knees. Therefore, I am thankful that God blessed me with a father and mother who loved me and took care of me. However, countless children are blessed with loving parents, but never realize it until it’s too late.

Every new generation of youth complains that parents are stuck in the past, uncool, and not with it. What makes it worse is that today’s culture promotes closing the ear to one’s father and despising one’s mother. Forget what’s own children’s cable networks, even Disney movies promote the individuality and independence of boys and girls over the wise instruction of parents. Heck, the plot lines in most Disney movies are centered around a broken family.

Culturally, parental advice is considered a joke, a hindrance, and is even treated with disdain. How sad for us all.

Why should we listen to our parents? 

Parents aren’t perfect, that is for sure. As a parent with over 20 years of experience, I know for a fact that my advice can be flawed. So, what, then, makes my advice worth “hearkening” unto? Well…

  • I have seen a lot more, done a lot more, hurt a lot more, hurt others a lot more, and regretted a lot more than my children have.
  • I have stepped in pits, taken wrong turns, been bitten by dogs that weren’t supposed to bite, and picked up a snake by the tail.
  • I know what it like to love, what it is like to be loved, and what it is like to throw love away. I can give reason why one should question the old adage, “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” I mean, really?
  • I have held jobs, lost jobs, created jobs, and fired people from their jobs. I know the value of work, how to get work, and what to do to keep work.
  • I know what boys are thinking.

When we don’t listen to our parents or respect their opinions it is like saying we know that there are mines in the field, but we’ll figure out where they are on our own. Sheer foolishness.

When it comes to our mothers,…

Why shouldn’t we despise them when they get old? Why shouldn’t we get tired of their health problems, their stories, their complaints, and their warnings? Well…

  • For starters, she had you. You weren’t aborted.
  • More than likely she could have told your father, “No!”
  • For all your sleepless nights studying, partying, or hurting, she spent ten times that worrying.
  • You owe her. No amount of money, no matter how nice the nursing home is, can ever repay the pain of child birth.
  • Even though you owe her, she’ll never expect you to pay it back – because you can’t.

Only fools despise wisdom which can be gained without the pain of earning it.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in advice, counsel, Parenting

October 20, 2016

Don’t Follow Your Heart

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 23:19-21

“Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way. Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe [a man] with rags.”

Stay Away from These

The first thing many people will pick and choose out of these verses is a condemnation of drinking alcohol. Like many I have known in my life, the point many will immediately deduce is that drinking will lead to ruin, poverty, rags, etc. The last thing most will conclude is that eating will lead to destruction and ruin. No, the only thing many will see is, “stay away from those social drinkers and drunks.”

Why is it that little is ever said about gluttony? Why is it that gluttony is a sin, but eating isn’t? Unfortunately for the legalists among us, this proverb has nothing to say about eating and drinking, but gluttony and drunkenness. Take that for what it’s worth.

What Solomon is really telling us to stay away from are people who will most likely influence us to act like they do. We should stay away from those who eat and drink simply for pleasure because their self-indulgent spirits will lead not only to their own destruction, but also to the ruin of those who follow.

A Heart Issue

Drunkenness, gluttony, and drowsiness are certainly dangerous characteristics, but the initial command in this passage, a warning, is to “guide thine heart in the way.” Much like as in Proverbs 23:12, the idea is that the heart must be forced to do what is in its best interest.

How many times have you heard it said, “Just follow your heart”? Solomon is warning against that advice by cluing us in to what the heart desires. The Prophet Jeremiah said that the heart is “deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). The way that the heart wants to go is where the “winbibbers” and  “riotous eaters” are.

Wisdom should guide the heart, not the other way around.

What of the Other?

Alcohol is no different than carbohydrates and fat; both are amoral. In other words, there is no more inherent sin in a bottle of Jack Daniels than there is a Big Mac and a large fry or a banana split. Some people can eat what they need to stay fit without over-indulging, while others will pig out and clog their arteries…all in the name of a church social.

Some people can consume alcohol without becoming drunkards, too. However, many who consume are proven to be fools.

Simply put, an unguided heart will go in the way that numbs pain, fills voids, and distracts from reality. The wise son will guide his heart down a different, disciplined path which leads to provision, not poverty; robes, not rags.

Related articles

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in advice, contentment, food, Money and Finances, Paths of Life, Warnings, Work

October 13, 2016

Get Ready to Learn

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 23:12

“Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.”

Pause to Prepare

This proverb echos 22:17-21 and asks us to get ready for what we are about to read/hear. In other words, what is about to be said is very important, so we should prepare our hearts and tune our ears.

I can almost imagine Solomon looking at his son the way I sometimes look at my daughters. I call their name, get eye contact, and then ask, “Are you listening to what I am about to say?” Sometimes I even take two of my fingers, point at their eyes, then mine, just to make sure I have their attention.

Solomon is trying to get our attention, but he is warning us that what we are about to hear might not be pleasant.

“Apply”

It is interesting to note that the majority of Bible translations use the same word in this proverb: “apply.” This should tell us that there is something special about this word – something worth examining.

The Hebrew word for “apply” is an expression that simply means to go in and come out. But when we use it in connection with one’s heart, the idea is that we must decide where the heart goes – it can’t be allowed to go where it wants.

Obviously, the heart is our seat of emotions, but too often the heart is in the seat driving. Solomon wants us to prepare our hearts for something that might not be pleasant, something that might cause our emotions to take over.

“Instruction”

What is it that Solomon asks us to apply our hearts to? He says, “Apply thine heart unto instruction.” But here again, should be mindful of words. “Instruction” is a word we typically associate with being told what to do. However, the Hebrew word muwcar (mü·sär’) lends itself more to the idea of discipline and chastisement.

So what is the point?

Solomon is about to instruct us with knowledge that may be hard to handle, so he is telling us in advance to do what is necessary, even if it is difficult.

You see, we need to make our heart go to a place from where it would normally run. We need to force our ears to hear what we don’t want to hear. We need to take our emotions by the hand and willfully walk them through disciplined paces. Otherwise, what we are about to read next will cause us to flee with our emotions leading the way.

1 Comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in advice, counsel, Parenting, Warnings

October 7, 2016

I Did It My Way

By David

Proverbs 23:9 

Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.

All of us fall into ‘the fool who doesn’t listen’ category from time to time. One example that comes to mind is of Martin, a fellow cadet on my second trip to sea. Martin was a first tripper and all seafarers are aware that first trippers know nothing. Hence the saying ‘only first trippers and seagulls sit on a ship’s rails!’

Mart154Martin was an intelligent but unconventional young man, with an unusual upbringing. This included time spent growing up as a missionary kid out in the bush in Kenya, followed by a boarding school education back in England, while his parents continued to serve in Africa. We hit it off straight away. Martin was a couple of years older than me, but theoretically I was the senior cadet having served longer at sea. Friendship and length of sea time did not mean that Martin listened to me. In fact, his failure to listen meant that we both regularly got into trouble with the chief officer (otherwise known as the mate) and even the captain on occasions. Three incidents in particular spring to mind:

1. When we were told to paint the emergency fire pump Martin thought it would look better in rainbow colors. I told him the mate would not like it. Martin didn’t listen and we ended up repainting the fire pump. In our own time.

2. When given the task of repairing the canvas lifeboat covers Martin soon got tired of stitching on the patches. He suggested glue. I told him the mate would not like it. He didn’t. He made us stitch around the patches we had glued. In our own time.

3. When presented with numerous flags to wash by hand Martin felt that a spot of bleach might help restore the flags to their former glory. I took a stand on this one and told him that bleach would damage the flags. Martin didn’t listen. I didn’t see him add the bleach but I sure as heck saw the results. So did the captain when we tried to sneak the damaged flags back to the wheelhouse. I still remember the explosion. “YOU DID WHAT! YOU WASHED THE FLAGS IN BLEACH?!!!” The captain’s cap didn’t quite leave his head, but as a small man he was prone to jumping up and down a lot when he lost his temper.

Martin had a knack of thinking up shortcuts. No amount of advice would deter him from taking action that others were convinced was foolish. I guess the best defense that Martin had was his youth, but many of us left youth behind many years ago yet still fail to heed a voice of wisdom, or worse the voice of God. It is no excuse to say we didn’t hear, we didn’t understand, or we thought that our way was better. When God speaks we need to listen. Carefully. Then we need to do what He says, when He says, and how He says. 

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in advice, counsel, Fools, Friendship, Wisdom, Work

September 23, 2016

Trouble’s Not My Friend

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 22:24-25

Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.

Just Mad

At first glance it might seem like “angry” would be self-explanatory. We’ve all seen someone throw a tantrum. We’ve all gotten furious over something. There’s nothing unusual about losing one’s temper once in a while. But when Solomon advises us to stay away from an angry or furious man, he is not referring to a man who throws his popcorn when his favorite team loses the championship in the last second of the game. We’ve all done that…right?

No, this proverb is talking about people who are always angry, always furious, always upset over something. It’s a warning to stay away from people like that, unless, of course, you want to start acting just like them.

Contagious Anger

  • Women-haters. Hang around these guys very long and you’ll never find love. However, you could start a club.
  • Disgruntled employees. Talk about angry! They make the water in the water cooler boil. Unfortunately, those who listen to them too long tend to overlook the blessing of being employed and end up out of work.
  • Bitter wives and jilted lovers. Talk about furious! Hide all sharp objects and weapons of any kind when you’re in their presence unless you want to get hurt. Better yet, don’t listen to them for too long or you might end up being  recruited to exact their revenge.
  • Political conspiracy theorists. They mean well, but they’re not well. They see grander schemes than actually exist and draw others into their paranoia.
  • Church gossips. They’re typically angry because things aren’t going their way. They look for ways to tear down others while they sap the joy and faith out of you. Before long you become one of them.

Why be like the angry and furious man? Is not God in control? Prolonged anger signifies a heart problem fueled by selfish demands, so is it worth a snare to the soul?

Avoid Trouble

The next time Mr. Trouble comes around looking for a companion, politely excuse yourself; he’s not your friend.

Rather, make Jesus your friend; He is gentle and lowly of heart. Instead of a snare, He will give rest to your soul (Matthew 11:29).

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in advice, Friendship, gossip, Warnings

August 8, 2016

Risk Management

By David

Proverbs 22:3 

A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.
A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. (NLT)

It was necessary to change my pension plan a few years ago. My original plan was taken out with my bank, and was initially linked to my mortgage. When the yearly statements arrived I found it quite shocking that the pension plan was not growing much, despite what I was paying into the plan. The bank’s answer was to suggest that I should increase my monthly contribution.

Frustrated, I contacted an old friend who used to work in life insurance. He told me that his son was a pension expert and sent him up to see me. The son arranged a transfer of my pension funds from the bank to another scheme, where he is able to micro-manage client investments. When stocks were doing badly a few years ago, he moved my investments into cash deposits so that they did not lose any value. When stocks and shares recovered, he moved my pension fund back into stocks. As a consequence my pension investment has grown, and is continuing to grow, because my friend’s son is wise enough to foresee fluctuations in the money markets, and take precautions. If I had left my pension fund invested with the bank it would be worth even less now, and I could have faced financial problems in my retirement.

God expects us to do our best to make wise choices in all areas of our lives, and He expects us to be alert to things with the potential to damage us, and our relationship with Him. If we walk with God, and if we are tuned into His voice constantly, then He will guide us. Following God, and listening for and to His voice is important. There is danger all around. Scripture warns us to ‘be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour’ 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV). Failure to foresee danger and take precautions always has consequences. Such consequences have the potential to extend into eternity.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , | posted in advice, Fools, Paths of Life, Temptation

August 1, 2016

Counsel God?

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 21:30

“There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the LORD.”

Intelligent

I am a half-way intelligent guy. There are degrees hanging on the wall of my study, a few awards, and a lot of books on the shelves that I’ve actually read. But don’t be too impressed; I don’t have a doctorate (yet) and I still have problems with math and spelling restuarant.

What’s worse is I’m supposed to be a “spiritual leader,” a pastor, a Reverend. Along with those degrees on my wall, there is also a piece of paper that says I’ve been “Ordained to the Gospel Ministry.” According to some, that puts me on God’s speed dial. Riiiiight.

In actuality, I am only human, and a flawed one at that. This past weekend my daughter had to take the spiritual lead and call me to the carpet. She has no degree or title, but she does walk with God and loves the Word. So, when she saw me making a mess of things she exercised spiritual wisdom, understanding, and counseled against me. “Daddy,” she said through tears, “you told me to be bold, so I’m going to do that now…we haven’t even prayed!”

Infinite

Then there’s God.

No degrees. No diplomas. Only 66 books to His credit. Never been graded. The ultimate Self-Starter.

His library is limited to some scrolls, but He invented language and the light by which to read. He even provides the Light that illuminates the mind.

He is Wisdom. He is omniscient (knows all). He is the Judge of Heaven and Earth before who’s bar only one Counselor has the right to intercede.

I can be questioned. I can be challenged. I can be corrected. No matter how wise or spiritual I become, I am still just a wisp of mist in the air; human.

Our God is the LORD; His children stand in awe.

3 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in advice, counsel, Parenting, Wisdom

July 12, 2016

Credible Witnessing

By David

Proverbs 21:28  

A false witness shall perish: but the man that heareth speaketh constantly.
A false witness will be cut off, but a credible witness will be allowed to speak. (NLT)

When I was growing up my father used to tell me a story about a boy who constantly shouted wolf when there was no wolf. Eventually the villagers began to ignore his cries because whenever they responded to the call there was no wolf. One day the boy found himself confronted by a large hungry wolf. He shouted for help but no help came. The villagers thought that it was another prank. They never saw the boy again.

My father told me this story to encourage me to be truthful and completely accurate in all things. The ability to twist stories or to lie blatantly is not confined to small children. It is a significant problem in society in general. In the UK in recent years there have been several incidences of prominent politicians being caught out lying, and even more of politicians fiddling their expenses. A number have been sent to prison. Few are viewed as credible on their release. Except one perhaps, the one who came to faith during his incarceration who now speaks for God, instead of addressing Parliament.

Credibility is especially important for followers of Jesus. The early apostles set an example by living their faith. Some didn’t make the grade and perished because of giving false witness. What a difference between Ananias and Sapphira and the rest of the team. What a difference the Holy Spirit makes.

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47 NIV)

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in advice, Warnings