Category Archives: advice

Define free.

laptop-3087585_1920If you are reading this and you haven’t yet taken advantage the various WordPress University sites, I highly recommend you look into it!  First of all, they’re free. 

Well, okay, we all know what that means.  There is a cost somewhere to somebody.  Those who write for and administrate the courses have to get a paycheck somehow, and time is money.  So in the interest of accuracy, we’ll just say it’s FREE to those of us who take the courses.

Alright, try again.  There is no “pecuniary remuneration” on the part of the student, but one does need to invest a currency concerning which there is no refund—TIME.  To get out of the course, you have to dig, experiment, and try, try again.  These courses are intentional, at times frustrating, but to new writers, very rewarding.  As usual, you get out of it what you put into it. Continue reading


Hearing Correction

Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words. –Proverbs 23:9, KJV

Have you known that person who knows everything?

Even when it is obvious there is a lacking in knowledge?

Perhaps she has been friends with a lot of famous people.

Maybe he knows all about everyone around.

It could be they have done everything and been everywhere.

And then you pull them aside and quietly point out a small error in their story or correct a “fact” they shared.

But there is always an excuse or a way to brush off what you’ve said.

You may even find you have a new enemy (or at least less of a friend).

Or maybe you are that person.

Can you take simple correction? Can you admit you may be wrong? Or do you always have an excuse or ignore those who disagree?

Be wise.

Do not stretch the truth or make up facts. And if someone corrects you, listen and, if needed, admit you’re wrong and change.


Politically-Incorect Advice

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. – Proverbs 23:13-14

As of this writing, Rahm Emanuel, the soon-to-be-ex Mayor of Chicago and someone with whom I have rarely agreed, is in trouble for saying what needed to be said in the wake of unabated violence, including hundreds of murders:

“This may not be politically correct,” he said, “but I know the power of what faith and family can do. … Our kids need that structure. … I am asking … that we also don’t shy away from a full discussion about the importance of family and faith helping to develop and nurture character, self-respect, a value system and a moral compass that allows kids to know good from bad and right from wrong.”

He added: “If we’re going to solve this … we’ve got to have a real discussion. … Parts of the conversation cannot be off-limits because it’s not politically comfortable. … We are going to discuss issues that have been taboo in years past because they are part of the solution. … We also have a responsibility to help nurture character. It plays a role. Our kids need that moral structure in their lives. And we cannot be scared to have this conversation.” (source: FoxNews.com)

What was so wrong with he said? Oh, I know! It gave the impression that the actions of parents have a lasting effect on children, and children grow up. It took the responsibility off of the government and placed it back on the parents. It didn’t lay all the blame for violence on poverty but suggested that the decay in the family, faith, and morality is at the root of what’s wrong.

In response to the Mayor’s suggestions, a former president and CEO of the Chicago Urban League, Shari Runner, refused to accept any responsibility on behalf of families. She said, “I cannot see the victims of racist policies and bigoted practices shamed by anyone who says they need to do better or be better in their circumstances. I won’t accept it!”

Well, somebody needs to accept the blame. Who is responsible for rearing one’s children? Who is responsible for applying the rod of discipline to the seat of instruction? Not the government, that’s for sure! And, I’m sorry, folks, but racist policies and bigoted practices are no excuse for immorality, having children out of wedlock, and men with 16 baby mommas.

Folks, the stats don’t lie: “Children from broken homes [are] nine times more likely to commit crimes.” (source: The Telegraph UK)

And when it comes to Proverbs 23:13-14, we need to understand that a lot of grown men and women are on their way to hell and taking others with them all because of delinquent parenting.

It may be politically incorrect, but I’m not running for office – I’m telling you the truth…and so is Rahm Emanuel.


Your Name Is More Valuable

“A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.” – Proverbs 22:1

Sales

I have had more than a few years of experience in the area of sales. I have, over the years, sold everything from credit card services to funeral pre-arrangements. Right now I sell for Aflac (the company with the Duck), and I hope to have a long relationship.

However, there have been times when I’ve been instructed by sales managers to do whatever it takes to close the deal. At one point one crook of a sales manager (I quit after this) told me, “After all, those people are not your friends.” I said, “Everyone is a potential friend.”

Sales can be a tough way to make a living – it’s actually hard on me right now – but some things are far more valuable than money.

Your Reputation

Some may think this is just a thing I say to gain trust, but it’s the honest-to-God truth. I tell people they can trust me because I have a reputation to protect.

Even though I could make a sale and make some money, what good would it do, in the long run, if word got out that I was untrustworthy? How would that affect my ministry? How would that affect my ability to lead a church, or share the gospel?

Oh, you don’t know how much I would love to open a few new accounts and pay my bills! I don’t want “great riches,” only enough to pay for necessities and a little more, plus enough to lay aside for later. “Tiny riches” would be fine with me!

But all the riches in the world are not worth ruining one’s name, especially when one’s name is associated with the Name above all names, Jesus Christ.

I’d rather have a good name that brings honor to His name than all the gold in the world.


I’ve Become My Dad

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. –Proverbs 22:6, KJV

Too many people understand this verse to be saying, “If you raise your child a certain way, he (or she) will follow that same path forever.”

First, we must remember that proverbs typically are generalized sayings, not prescriptive rules that are always 100% true.

This leads to the second point, that the truth in this passage is more subtle but still believed by most people today.

Maybe you have heard someone (including yourself!) say “I became my mom (or dad)!” Allthis means is that we find ourselves doing what our parents did, sometimes saying when we were younger “I’m never gonna do that!”

Thankfully, though my parents were far from perfect, I can take some pride in saying “I’ve become my dad.” Sometimes it is from doing some mannerism the same way he did. Many times I have stumbled across the wisdom of why he did certain things because I have to do them more regularly.

More often than not, this is what the verse is taking about, passing life’s wisdom on to the next generation.

Are we exactly like our parents in every way?

No. But we learn from them how we might live, which affects what we believe and how we act.

Sadly, it does not mean if we raise children to be Christains they will remain so. But I do have friends who have left the church, but they believe that Christian morality is good.

In this sense, they have “not depart[ed] from it.”

Remember, we are not responsible for the salvation of others, merely for guiding them to truth and godly living.


Kick Them Out

Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease. – Proverbs 22:10

As I was reading through chapter 22 this morning, looking for something to write about, several verses grabbed my attention. However, I feel moved to address this one.

One thing that I have learned during my years as a pastor is that there will always be people who disagree. No matter where you go, church or not, there are going to be people who don’t see eye-to-eye.

But then there are those people who do nothing but complain. They find a way to see the negative in everything you do. They have a sense of arrogance, even, that does its best to belittle any suggestion other than their own.

Sometimes these people put on a false face, smiling all the time while secretly scheming against every plan in which they had no part or didn’t conceive. And even worse, with mocking words of derision they try to subvert another’s leadership in order to gain control or set up another who is more considerate of their wishes.

My advice: Cast them out!

Solomon’s advice: Cast them out!

So often we put up with people who sow discord and foment contention, all because we love them and don’t want to see them go. However, a “scorner” in the midst does harm to the whole, and much like a cancer that threatens the life of a body, he/she must be put out for the good of all.

Think of it this way: when you get rid of the scorner, you get rid of the reproach – “confusion, dishonour, ignominy, reproach, shame” (Strong’s H7036). After all, if the scorner is not happy where he is, send him away! You’d be doing him a favor and helping the rest.

…How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! – Psalm 133:1 NIV


Luck Has Nothing To Do With It

The lot is cast into the lap, but the response is from the Lord. –Proverbs 16:33

There is a mentality today that casting lots is superstitious at best and magic from the pits of Hell at worst.

We must remember, though, that many people throughout the Bible cast lots, most recently in Acts chapter one with the choosing of Matthias to replace Judas Iscariot as an Apostle. Perhaps you have even drawn straws, which is very similar.

Most frequently today lots is seen as a game, whether for children or when gambling, like the lottery (guess where the name comes from). It is seen as something you wish for luck in.

But luck has nothing to do it.

God is in control. Lots can be used when you are really struggling with a decision (like which job offer to accept) or if you are simply feeling apathetic about a choice (like maybe where to eat out or what movie to watch … if you are into that kind of thing).

The key is to remember that you are asking God for direction. Otherwise, you are merely being superstitious.


Have a plan

moses-2628535_1920Moses, what a guy.  Talk about job stress—the perks were pretty great but so were the occupational hazards.  (And I think I have tough days!)  At least there was clear communication with the Boss; no lost email trails or intra-office misinterpretation of body language, all that.  God’s instructions were always unmistakably clear, right down to what colors of decorative embroidery thread to use for the big church tent!

One year into their miraculous escape/rescue from centuries of Egyptian slavery, God now has them positioned to pull up the stakes and start their journey in earnest to the Promised Land. 

He has also promised to be their Guide, a cloud by day and something that looks like a pillar of fire by night.  Again, fairly distinctive, even for someone directionally challenged, like me.  When He moves left, they move left.  When He stops, they stop, and up go all the tents.  Kind of like a cosmic GPS.  What could be easier?

Then I read this short conversation sandwiched in the account of the Israelites getting ready to leave.  It’s between Moses and his brother-in-law, Hobab, (who is not an Israelite).  Moses is inviting him to join them on their journey, and that they will share all the blessings that God will give them. 

“But Hobab replied, ‘No, I will not go. I must return to my own land and family.’  ‘Please don’t leave us,’ Moses pleaded. ‘You know the places in the wilderness where we should camp. Come, be our guide.’”

Hold on.  I thought God was their guide…?  Has the great leader of the Old Testament who walked his people through the sea on dry land and spoken to God Almighty in the burning bush suddenly gotten cold feet?

As much as I love the “humanness” of our biblical heroes, I don’t think that is the case.  We’re talking about over a million human beings here, so “camping out” isn’t just a matter of taking over, say, an entire State Park.  It’s more like taking over Chicago.  God was going to guide Moses to a general area; a good leader was needing to prepare for at least some of the particulars.

Now, I’ll admit that one of my failsafe, fall back phrases is “God’s got a plan”.  Okay, true enough.  But many times, the very real question of the moment is,… do I?

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”

In other words, God’s guidance does not preclude my personal responsibility.  Reasoning brain and redeemed spirit work hand-in-hand.  It may seem like push and shove sometimes, but God can still get His end result accomplished.

ThreadBecause sometimes He may just give us the pattern and let us pick out the color of thread.

Numbers 10:30; Proverbs 16:9 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.


What’s on your summer reading list?

gossip

Another insightful painting by beloved Norman Rockwell.

Bob and I were watching a really interesting TV show on the top 100 popular books.  Now, how they came up with that short list, I don’t know, and it ranged from John Bunyan’s Pilgrim Progress to modern day novels that have influenced people in, well, other ways.

One of the neat things about this program is that it’s interactive, meaning you go online and cast your vote for your favorite book (among the short list, naturally), and you can vote once a day until the show’s finale.  Which means you can stuff the ballot box, I suppose. 

During the show, different people were interviewed on their Number One choice, and I was impressed how this divergent sampling of human effort has influenced individuals, and in some cases, greatly.

Like me.  One of John Bunyan’s other books, Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, was my door to deliverance in a very real way.  But that’s another story, and anyway, I doubt that’s on the list.

The point is that words, or communication of any sort, are powerful.  That includes not only what we put out but just as importantly, what we take in.  In Proverbs chapter 15, information transfer of some sort is mentioned at least fourteen times!  And they didn’t even have social media yet!  Here’s an example of output:

“The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing,
    but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.”

Most of us have probably been party to both—my hand is raised.  What we perhaps don’t emphasize enough is the personal responsibility of intake:

“Plans go wrong for lack of advice;
    many advisers bring success.”

What I choose to listen to (or read) is actually just as important as what I choose to say (or write, as it were.) We all know the damage done by slurs on social media.  But do we realize that the damage is done not only because those things are put out there, but because they are read? In other words, the reader is just as culpable as the writer.  Always.

I know that I can be quite impacted by stories, mental images both from descriptive writing and the silver screen.  It’s the way we are wired, since the word (lower case “w”) is powerful, being created so by God Himself.  Therefore, what I choose to listen to is also powerful decision.

Sometimes earplugs are a good investment. 

president-1822449_1920

Proverbs 15: 2,22 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.


I Told You So

A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke. -Proverbs 13:1, KJV

My dad recently told me how proud of me he is. Of course, I took his advice on a few things, so there is that.

I guess it helps show I can be wise and just a wiseacre!

There have been times I have not listened to him. He and my mom would tell me what would happen if I followed through with my plans.

Then I would hear it: “I told you so.” I usually felt pretty silly, too, but my parents did help me to know that they took no pleasure in my pain nor being proven right.

The Big Rebuke

The biggest rebuke in history came when Jesus came to live and die for our sins.

He told us that the Father’s standards are not ours, and we need help. He told us He would send a Helper, the Holy Spirit, who would convict us of our son and lead back to Him. He told us He will return to finally judge us.

If you reject the Spirit’s prodding and Jesus’ warnings, one day you will hear Him say very sadly, “I told you so.”

And there will be no more time to change your mind.