Tag Archives: anger

Wake Up, Sleepy Head!

Proverbs 27:14

“He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.”
“A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!” – NLT
Wake Up!

Have you ever been fast asleep, dreaming of wonderful, happy times, then harshly brought back to consciousness by the loud, obnoxious, startling voice of an overly-cheerful, early-rising friend? Did you want to throw a heavy boot at his head?

There is nothing too spiritual about this proverb, in my opinion. It is not much more  than a warning to the early risers in the world. Those who scare people with a loud, “Good morning!” or “Wake up! It’s a beautiful day!” run the risk of serious injury, or at least being cursed.

Friendly Intentions

The point that Solomon is trying to make in this proverb is that even though one may have his friend’s best interests at heart, doing a good deed in the wrong manner may harm a relationship, not bless it.

In reality, a true friend should know another well enough to understand what will and will not offend. A real friend would know better than to storm into a deep sleeper’s room and scream out, “Time to wake up!” Even a happy, early riser should know better than to expect much movement from a friend who must have a cup of coffee before opening his eyes.

So, before you go out and try to do something “nice” for someone else, make sure you are not overstepping any boundaries. If you don’t use wisdom, what you intend for good might become a wake up call for you.


Red Mist vs The Green Eye Monster

Proverbs 27:4

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming,
    but who can stand before jealousy?

Ch Ch Ch Changes…

I was never that bothered about hitting 30. I just thought it would be a birthday like any other, the only significance being what others placed on it. I was wrong. Since hitting 30 my memory has declined, I can no longer stay up past midnight and operate the next day, sprained ankles take months to recover rather than days… you get the picture and it’s a grim one. I also noticed I was rapidly becoming a grumpy old man.

Red Mist

I decided to cheer up a bit, I couldn’t change some of the physical stuff but I could change the grumpiness, and I was doing so, and then we adopted a three year old boy! There is nothing that challenges patience greater than a child! I certainly look back on my own childhood now with a slightly different perspective! Raising a child certainly shows me the truth of the first part of this verse. For my son his anger can strike at any time with no obvious reasons and it cripples him. When I get angry it’s easier to spot the reasons but just as hard not to be overwhelmed and suddenly flip into hulk mode. Anger is overwhelming, but anger passes. Losing control is not comfortable, but it usually dissipates fairly quickly. The chemical reaction in our body does its work and then we come down. Our son certainly bounces back quickly, the events seemingly left in the past.

Green Eye Monsters

Just as we all experience anger, we all certainly recognise the pangs of envy. The writer of this proverb seems to be implying that jealousy is worse than anger. I wonder if it is because of jealousy’s lingering nature. Jealous leads us to be consumed by something we don’t yet have. At worst it can make us plot and plan devious schemes to obtain said items, at best it can lead to restless nights consumed with thoughts of our supposed ‘need’.

So What?

We may all agree with the verse in question but so what? Should we favour anger over jealousy? Anger and jealousy are both things that we are told God has experienced – so what is this verse all about? Well firstly I think there is a recognition that anger and jealousy are very much part of the human experience – there will be a day when they are gone, but for now we are stuck with them. But that doesn’t mean we have to indulge in them especially when they are both potentially destructive. This verse hints that we may not be able to control when they hit, but we can certainly limit the damage they cause.

Self Control

The problem is a lack of self control, we are encouraged to revel in our feelings as long as they make us feel better. This is world’s apart from the way of life Jesus choose, a life of self control and sacrifice benefiting others before himself. If we want to be more like Him we need to spend more time with Him drawing from His reserves of love, being strengthened to be self controlled and disciplined and getting grace when we invariably mess it up.

Philippians 2:1-11 (The Message) ‘If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.’


Conversational Traps

Proverbs 26:4

“Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.”

To some it seems like a contradiction in Scripture. Here Solomon is telling us to not answer a fool, but in the very next verse he seems to say the opposite. The Apostle Peter even tells us (1 Peter 3:15) to “be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.” Why, then, should we “answer not?”

Flawed and Senseless

Have you ever tried debate a teenager (or self-assured college-age daughter)? Trying to convince them of truth is like a genuine exercise in futility. When they are convinced they know what is right, there is no arguing, even when they realize their argument is flawed.

Some people will argue over things that make no sense at all, thereby making it impossible to win, no matter what side one’s on. For example, there was lady who called into a radio talk show complaining about the placement of deer crossing signs (signs that warn motorists that deer cross in that area). Let me give you a paraphrased version of the conversation…

deer crossingLady:  I’ve been trying to talk to somebody about this, but no one listen to me.

Radio: Really? What is the problem?

Lady: Well, there have been a lot of people hitting deer on the highway, including me. I just feel they should move these signs to places where there are less cars and slower speeds…I mean, we shouldn’t encourage deer to cross the interstate…that’s too dangerous.

Radio: Are saying these signs are instructing the deer where to cross?

Lady: Yes, and all it would take is moving the crossings to a safer place, like a school zone, where people would have time to see the deer coming and not hit them.

The problem with answering  a fool is that, when we do, we give the fool credence. Answering a fool in his “folly” tends to legitimize the fool’s efforts and encourages him to continue.

“Like unto him”

As a blogger, I receive comments from people all over the world, and believe me, the world is full of fools. Fortunately, I have the option approve or deny the comments people leave. Some of those who visit my blogs challenge me with questions that are obviously meant to entrap, inflame, and waste time. Answering does nothing but frustrate me and make the fool look important, so now I avoid them.

Interestingly, a recent study has shown that “anger is the internet’s most powerful emotion.” Therefore, it is very likely that we will encounter angry, irate, and irrational rants in some future cyber-conversation. The true mark of wisdom is knowing when to avoid getting into the fray, and when to calmly answer (26:5).

Unfortunately, too many of us in this day and age are falling for the fool’s folly and becoming “like unto him.”  Beware of conversational traps.


Trouble’s Not My Friend

Proverbs 22:24-25

Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.

Just Mad

At first glance it might seem like “angry” would be self-explanatory. We’ve all seen someone throw a tantrum. We’ve all gotten furious over something. There’s nothing unusual about losing one’s temper once in a while. But when Solomon advises us to stay away from an angry or furious man, he is not referring to a man who throws his popcorn when his favorite team loses the championship in the last second of the game. We’ve all done that…right?

No, this proverb is talking about people who are always angry, always furious, always upset over something. It’s a warning to stay away from people like that, unless, of course, you want to start acting just like them.

Contagious Anger

  • Women-haters. Hang around these guys very long and you’ll never find love. However, you could start a club.
  • Disgruntled employees. Talk about angry! They make the water in the water cooler boil. Unfortunately, those who listen to them too long tend to overlook the blessing of being employed and end up out of work.
  • Bitter wives and jilted lovers. Talk about furious! Hide all sharp objects and weapons of any kind when you’re in their presence unless you want to get hurt. Better yet, don’t listen to them for too long or you might end up being  recruited to exact their revenge.
  • Political conspiracy theorists. They mean well, but they’re not well. They see grander schemes than actually exist and draw others into their paranoia.
  • Church gossips. They’re typically angry because things aren’t going their way. They look for ways to tear down others while they sap the joy and faith out of you. Before long you become one of them.

Why be like the angry and furious man? Is not God in control? Prolonged anger signifies a heart problem fueled by selfish demands, so is it worth a snare to the soul?

Avoid Trouble

The next time Mr. Trouble comes around looking for a companion, politely excuse yourself; he’s not your friend.

Rather, make Jesus your friend; He is gentle and lowly of heart. Instead of a snare, He will give rest to your soul (Matthew 11:29).


Repeat Offenders

Proverbs 19:19

A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.”
A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again.” (NIV)

Foe-Worker

I once worked with a young man whose uncle was the manager.

He did not like me. I did what was required of me and tried to help everyone get along, while he did the bare minimum and got into fights with everyone.

Nobody really liked him, and we all tried to report each of his offenses. His uncle simply shrugged it all off and covered for him.

This guy did not like being corrected, being told he was wrong, or being told what to do. He would get angry each time, even over the simplest of things.

He would get into a fight over something, and things would have to be fixed by the rest of us. His uncle would cover for him, and the next day it would happen again.

Motivational Churches

Too many churches today preach a message of positive thinking and good works. The message tends to be somewhere along the lines of being sincere, doing enough good works to look good, or to keep plugging away until things work out well.

The pastors and leaders of these churches are little better than motivational speakers.

The danger of preaching these kinds of messages: without any acknowledgement of our sins, we are cursed to repeat them.

Many people, through only receiving these messages, never come to realize the true need for a Savior. This is not Someone who necessarily saves them from the effects of their sins, because He wants them to know the dangers of their sins.

This Someone saves us from the eternal implications.

Merciful Savior, grant us control of our emotions. Help us to find the peace only You can offer, that we may be at peace with ourselves, our world, and with You, that we may help others overcome this world and not fall into trouble time and time again.


Restrained Anger

Proverbs 19:11

“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” (KJV).
“People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.” (NLT).

In Your Anger, Don’t Sin:

It’s not wrong to get angry. Anger is an emotion, and when bad things happen to us, we will feel angry. However, the Bible says, “Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Eph. 4:26, NLT). So anger itself is not a sin, but what we do with that emotion is what makes it either good or bad. If we let that anger control us or we explode and hurt other people with our words or actions, we have sinned.

The above Proverb tells us that a man’s discretion (or good sense, NLT) causes them to restrain their anger. When they are hurt, wronged, or offended, instead of lashing out in anger, they pass over the transgression. They choose to overlook the wrong. Or – they forgive.

Increase our Faith!

There’s an interesting story in the Gospel of Luke where Jesus is teaching His disciples about offenses and forgiveness. He said, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” (Luke 17:1,3-4).

What makes this story interesting is not just this hard statement about forgiveness, but how the disciples responded. They said, “Increase our faith!” In the past, Jesus had told them to preach the Gospel, heal the sick, and cast out devils, and they never asked Jesus for more faith. But when Jesus told them they had to forgive, they said, “We need help with this Jesus!”

How to Deal with Your Anger:

Jesus made it clear that offenses are going to come, and most of our anger comes from being hurt or offended by someone. We are living in a sin-cursed earth with hurting people who are hurting other people. So what do you do when you get hurt?

First of all, there is another Proverb that says, “He who covers a transgression seeks love.” (Prov. 17:9). To cover a transgression means you are willing to overlook it or forgive it. Because God has been gracious to us and forgiven us, we should extend grace to others and forgive them, too.

Secondly, the Bible tells us that Jesus is the one who heals our broken hearts (Luke 4:18). If someone hurts you, take it to the Lord in prayer and ask for His healing. Spend time abiding in Jesus in prayer, and allow the fruit of the Spirit – which includes peace, kindness and self-control – to replace the anger. Amen! Receive His healing and forgiveness, and be at peace today.


Temper Temper

Proverbs 16:32 

“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

Being slow to get angry is not an easy task for most of us. It is quite interesting for me to consider my five children when I read this verse. Some of them fly off the handle very quickly, but only one was ever slow to anger. This stood him in good stead on the rugby pitch where provocation is often rife. There came a day when he was fifteen years old when my son did lose his temper. He punched another player who then had to leave the pitch and visit the local A&E, where coincidentally my wife was one of the two duty nurses, and my next-door neighbor was the other.

It seems that everyone saw the punch except the referee. But nobody condemned my son, except my wife who wasn’t too pleased when she found out that her son was responsible for her patient in A&E (be sure your sins will always find you out!). The other players in my son’s team and the sports teachers who had accompanied the team to the match knew that my son was slow to anger and that on this occasion a one-off well-timed and accurately targeted punch was appropriate. The boys on the opposing team more than certainly knew that their teammate on the receiving end deserved what he got because of his behavior during the match. The same boy spent hours scouring the town center (downtown for US readers) with two of his friends looking for my son to take revenge. Brave boy. Three to get one.

James, the brother of Jesus, repeats and adds to this proverb in the New Testament:

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. (James 1:19 NLT)

What excellent advice. And by the way, they won the match, which was a semi-final in the U15s Anglo-Welsh cup. My son’s team went on to win in the final. I can’t help but think that one reason they won was because as a team they were slow to react to provocation, leaving them free to focus on the match.


The Hot Head

Proverbs 15:18

“A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”

A Hot-Tempered Person

I love how our verse is stated in the ESV – “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”

We all know someone who is a hot-head. Someone who is easily provoked or short-fused. They become angry at the drop of a hat. The old saying, “Some people get angry at the drop of a hat and some throw the hat down themselves” is so true of our verse.

Solomon is telling us that those wrathful, hot-headed people are only going to cause more problems and strife.

The Calming Solution

Our verse today is not the first verse we have seen in Proverbs 15 that talks about how to deal with wrathful people. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”.

Solomon is basically telling us that the best way to “keep the peace” is to be calm or slow to anger.

It’s Our Choice

I can sit here and write this post about being calm the next time I am faced with someone who is trying to stir things up or that is angry with me, but when it actually happens, I have two choices: 1. I can become angry at the person and “stir the pot” even more,  or 2. I can stay calm and carefully choose my words. It is up to me!

How will you deal with a hot-tempered person? If you are normally a hot-headed person, how will you respond the next time you have a tendency to “throw down the hat”?


Cross and Conniving

Proverbs 14:17

17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.

Customer Crossing

I have over ten years experience in retail customer service. There are always those customers who can find something to complain about no matter where they go (can I get an “Amen!” from my compatriots?!).

Firstly, it can be rather frustrating for all of the employees. When those employees get upset and angry, sometimes they do things not very nice. Some examples include giving faulty merchandise, doing something disgusting to their food, or giving bad advice. Sometimes, because these employees acted out their frustrations, they end up losing their jobs.

Secondly, these customers who are so easily angered do not realize the hidden punishment they could receive from those irate employees. If they could have just calmly stated the problem and waited for response, most problems between employees and customers could easily be avoided.

In both cases, someone is acting foolishly. Unfortunately, it is almost always the customer. (Is everyone out there listening?)

Conniving Customers

What is truly telling of the nature of our world is that some (maybe even many) of these customers get so angry on purpose. People have come to learn that if they throw a big enough fit, complain to just the right person, they can get so many things discounted or even free.

What some of those fail to realize or fully appreciate is how much others come to hate them. These people are not just “abusing the system,” but they are using people to get what they want. Nobody likes being used.

Churchianity

How often do we as Christians do this to each other?

There are complaints about what color the carpeting/walls/flowers/hymnals (if there are any, anymore!) are.

There are fights over how to reach out to people in the community (which is a big turn-off to people in the community).

There are floaters who never find a church-home, because they do not like something or are not getting something at every church they attend and then bad-mouth those churches.

What we are really saying is that we are better than everyone else (or most people). What we are really saying is that God needs to do everything we say and serve our every whim. What we are really saying is that God is not enough … even as we sing He is.

Gracious God, forgive us for always stabbing each other in the back and looking for freebies. Help us to live out Your command in John 13 to love each other, to sacrifice ourselves and our needs to each other for Your glory. Help us to love all people.


Better Fruit

Proverbs 8:18-19

“Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness. My fruit is better than gold, yea, than fine gold; and my revenue than choice silver.”
A Tear

As I was reaching up to type these words, I wiped a tear from the table in front of me. The odd thing about it was that I had to stop and think what it was. Evidently, it had been a while since I last saw one drop.

I am sure there will be more. And really, that’s a good thing.

Tears are valuable. They teach what happiness and indulgence never can. They teach us that we are weak, that we break, and that we are incapable of fixing everything, if anything.

They tell us we’re dependent on God. And really, that’s a good thing.

A Better Fruit

To many, a fallen tear on one’s table is nothing more than a drop of water. However, to the Christian, the one who loves Wisdom, it is a glistening jewel-like seed, the fruit of which far surpasses the earnings of any other investment.

The “durable riches and righteousness” of wisdom are far better than the rarest currencies on Earth. What grows from the tears of a humble heart cannot be purchased with all the money in the world.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.”

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. – Rev 21:4

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