Category Archives: Giving Honor

My Daughters

Proverbs 31:29 

“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.”

What Matters

Over the years I have met many people. Sadly, many of those cared not about the virtues praised in this chapter, only fame, popularity, wealth, and beauty. Parents are often more concerned with whether or not their daughters make the team, wear the crown, win the ribbon, get the rich husband, or fit into that certain dress.

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Alicia on her wedding day.

However, I don’t care so much about all those things. Sure, I want my daughters to be liked and well-off. It even makes me swell with pride when they win awards or turn heads with a glamorous gown. What matters to me is that they become women of honor, courage, strength, and faith. What matters most is that they honor God.

 

Praise

Unfortunately, most girls get praised for being sexy, selfish, and seductive. Instead of praising the hard-working woman who is faithful to her husband and God, who takes care of her family, we tune in each week to reality shows that make millionaires out of harlots and place a premium on vanity, not virtue.

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Katie and Haley

Moms and dads, husbands, it is our responsibility to praise the woman “that feareth the Lord” (31:30). Whether they be young and in school, or mothers and grandmothers, our “daughters” should be praised for doing “virtuously.” And what higher praise could there be than to say, “Of all the virtuous, godly, Proverbs 31-like women in the world, you are the best“?

That is the praise my wife desires. That’s the praise I hope to teach my daughters to seek.


A Proud Dad

Proverbs 27:11 – My son, be wise, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him that reproacheth me.

Over and over again, I can remember my father introducing me to his friends. It would go something like this, “And this is Jason. He is a chip off the old block”. What my dad was saying about me was that we were (and still are) very much alike. What he liked, I liked. What he enjoyed doing in his spare time, I enjoyed doing in my spare time. What he liked to eat, I liked to eat! I was just a smaller (chip) version of him (block). My dad was proud to call me his son!

father-SonEven though I was a small version of him, there were things that I did to make him proud of me and things that I did that did not make him so proud of me. Those times that I listen to his instructions and was wise in the decisions I made, as our verse says, it made his heart glad. It brought joy to him and even the simplest “attaboy” brought joy to my heart.

We have seen this before in Proverbs 10:1 – “A wise son makes a proud father…”

There are several things we can learn from this verse:

1. There had to be instruction given to the son in order for him to learn or gain the wisdom. Fathers, we can’t expect our children to grow up in this world without giving them the instructions that God has laid out for us to pass along to them. Let’s not miss the opportunity to teach them God’s Word. It may be hard work now but when we are older and our children are following God and teaching their children His Word – I guarantee you there will be many glad hearts.

2. The son had a choice to make. The father may have given up everything to teach and direct him in the way of God, but the son had the final choice in which direction he was going to go. Each of us have to make that choice. Solomon knew his son had to make his own choice, that is why over and over and over again he is pleading with him to get understanding and wisdom.

My prayer is not only will I be willing to instruct my daughter in God’s Word but that she would also be wise and make the right decisions. Now that would make my heart very, very glad!

When we are wise and follow our heavenly Father’s instructions, I can’t help but think HE will have a happy heart as well!

Lord, please guide and direct me as I raise my daughter. Help me to be the man of God that I need to be first, so that I may teach her your Word. Lord I pray that she will hear and understand your Word and listen to your teachings. 


Slings and Stones

Proverbs 26:8

“As he that bindeth a stone in a sling, so is he that giveth honour to a fool.”

Sling Shots

I used to own a pretty sweet sling shot. It had a handle shaped like a pistol grip, along with a metal brace that would go over my forearm. Attached to the forks was rubber tubing and a leather pouch. I could put a lead or steal ball in that sling shot and kill an elephant (at least in my imagination). However, the sling shot that I had as a child could not compare to the ones that were used during biblical times.

Home-made sling.

Home-made sling. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The one that David used against Goliath was a serious weapon which required considerable skill to use. Sure, my sling shot could kill small vermin and knock down targets at close range, but the type of slings Solomon was referring to could, and did, kill people. In Judges 20:16 we read how the Benjamites had 700 left-handed slingers who could aim at a hair and not miss. In 2 Kings 2:35 we read how that the Israelites used slings in warfare. As a matter of fact, lead shot used by the Greeks and Romans in warfare could have an effective range of over 200 yards.

Amazingly, even though the sling was in use over 3,000 years ago, it is still being used today as a weapon by survivalists and fighters alike.  It would seem that its simple construction, ease of use, low cost, unlimited availability of projectiles, and deadly potential could keep the sling in use forever. In the hands of a trained slinger, it is practically foolproof…unless you bind the stone.

Bound Stones

As good of a weapon that the sling shot is, it is worthless if the stone or shot never leaves the pouch. Sometimes a stone can fall out of the pouch by accident, but putting another one in only takes a second. But the idea of securing the stone to the sling so that it never leaves is like plugging the end of a rifle.

But this is what Solomon is trying to explain. Honor, prestige, wealth, giftedness, glory: all of these things are wonderful tools which can be used to great effect by the wise man. However, when in the possession of the fool, all of these things, especially honor, are worthless.

Implications

Solomon is speaking to the one who actually gives honor to a fool. The fool doesn’t posses honor on his own, but has it given to him. The warning in this verse is really aimed at the one who needs the stone thrown.

Some people will honor people who don’t deserve it with promotions and bonuses, thinking that those blessings will make the fool more of an asset. The problem is that the fool will not share in the honor given, nor will he use it appropriately. Therefore, instead of being useful, the fool has now become a liability, much like a soldier who refuses to fight.

Beware of political correctness. Beware of honoring for the sake of honoring. The one who truly makes honor worthless is the one who gives it to the fool in the first place.

 


A Challenge to Changers

Proverbs 24:21-22

My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change: for their calamity shall rise suddenly; and who knoweth the ruin of them both? – KJV
My child, fear the LORD and the king. Don’t associate with rebels, for disaster will hit them suddenly. Who knows what punishment will come from the LORD and the king? – NLT

Authority

This may be the only place in Scripture where God and an earthly king are spoken of as peers. It shouldn’t be considered the norm, but it is done in such a way to stress the importance of not only authority, but the link between authority and earthly leadership. Not all kings are godly, but no king rules without God’s knowledge.

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. – Romans 13:1 KJV

Therefore, it is important to understand that when we stand in opposition to the king, we may be standing in opposition to God. Rebellion may be an option at times, but those who enter into it should be wary of the consequences.

Change

I wonder where these verses were during the 2008 presidential election? Many Obama supporters were running around America demanding “change,” yet when asked what they wanted to change to, no reasonable answer was given. Most would simply reply, “Well, anything is better than what we have.”

Change for change’s sake is terribly dangerous. Those who want to change leadership for the sole reason of “change” run the risk of destruction. Solomon warns us to stay away from people like that, for they have obviously given no thought to the consequences of their actions.

Fear God, Honor the King

Ultimately, the wise man will keep attempt to keep things in their proper perspective. God and the earthly kings are not on the same level, and if one is to be obeyed over the other, it should be God that is obeyed first and last. 1 Peter 2:17b reminds us to give due honor to the king (those in authority), but to “fear God.”

During political engagements there is the temptation to be disrespectful of those in authority, especially when we don’t agree with them. But let this proverb remind us that all authority is from God, and unless we have clear direction to stand against it, rebellion is affront not only to the king, but the King of Kings.

Be wise and tread carefully.


Moving the Goalposts

Proverbs 22:28 

Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set.
Don’t cheat your neighbor by moving the ancient boundary markers set up by previous generations. (NLT)

My house is one of a cul-de-sac of eleven homes that were built in the late 1980s on land that was previously an apple orchard. Owners of bungalows behind the new cul-de-sac believed that bungalows would be built in the orchard. Instead the developer built two-story homes that overlooked the bungalows. To placate the mainly elderly bungalow dwellers the developer erected a six-foot high fence between the new houses and the bungalows.

All was well until my rear fence blew down in a storm. The neighbor in the bungalow behind my house soon asked me when I would carry out repairs. I told him that according to my deeds the fence was his responsibility, and showed him the deeds. He then admitted that the fence had been built eighteen inches on my side of the original boundary and that he had removed the previous fence and gained eighteen inches of garden. Eighteen inches of my garden to be precise. Although hardly an ancient landmark, the boundary had been moved.

I do not believe that my neighbor intended to cheat me. He just did what seemed logical, never expecting to be rumbled one day. Am I bothered? Not really. I never had that eighteen-inch strip of land, and my neighbor is a good man, who on viewing my deeds immediately agreed to pay for the fence repair. Others may have taken a different view and demanded that the fence be moved.

moving-the-goal-posts_dilbert_9498While the removal of ancient landmarks was a serious offence when this proverb was written, the issue remains relevant today, but not only where property is concerned. The modern day equivalent in the UK is ‘moving the goalposts.’ This metaphor may have its origins in sport, but is increasingly used to describe an agreement or business deal where one party changes the conditions to the detriment of the other. The word cheat, as used in the NLT translation of this verse, is an apt description of a person who moves a boundary, the goalposts, or acts in a generally devious manner that harms another person to the benefit of the cheat.

There are goalposts or boundaries set for us by God that we should never try to move. In Acts 17:26 Paul states:  ‘From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.’ That is a mind-blowing statement. God who knows no boundaries is so involved in every aspect of our daily lives that He marked out boundaries for when and where we should live. This means that you are where you are now because God placed you there, and God wants you there. It is futile to try to move God’s goalposts. Instead we should rejoice in His intimate involvement in our lives.


Oppressing the Poor

Proverbs 22: 22-23 

Rob not the poor, because he is poor: neither oppress the afflicted in the gate: For the Lord will plead their cause, and spoil the soul of those that spoiled them.
Do not exploit the poor because they are poor
 and do not crush the needy in court, for the Lord will take up their case and will exact life for life. (NIV)

Once again the writer challenges our attitudes to the poor. How we treat those who are poorer than us, or even weaker than us is important. Most of us would probably read this proverb and think that it doesn’t apply to us personally because we haven’t robbed or oppressed anybody. Perhaps we haven’t, but are we sure? What about times we have failed to stand up for someone? Take it right back to the school playground where it was easier to walk away than stand up for a fellow pupil facing ridicule or even physical violence. I can remember thinking ‘rather him than me’ on more than one occasion.

Then there is the work place. When I joined the Merchant Navy as a sixteen-year-old cadet it was made perfectly clear to me that I was at the bottom of the pecking order. The chief officer on my first ship used to shout at me regularly, perhaps because he had been treated the same way when he was starting his career. I remember the captain sticking up for me one day and the treatment I received improved a little after that. A few years later when I was an officer I found myself speaking up for a young Rastafarian able seaman who was assigned to my watch. In this case the bosun and another seaman were making this young man’s life a misery, with the knowledge of the chief officer! He had nobody to plead his case until I stepped in. I did not make myself popular in the process, but I could not ignore what was going on.

Oppression takes many forms. Read through these verses again – there is a significant warning in verse 22. Is God challenging you about your attitude to others, or is He calling you to take a stand in someone’s defense today?


People Preferences

Proverbs 22:2

The rich and poor meet together: the Lord is the maker of them all.
Rich and poor have this in common: The Lord is the Maker of them all.

Personal Preferences

We all have people we like more than others. This is why we have friends and families. There are just some people we like having around more than other people.

There is nothing wrong with liking some people more than others. Even Jesus had close friends (see His Twelve Disciples, and of those Peter, James, and John who were His closest friends).

The real danger comes when we show preferences for others for selfish reasons, when love for others is not the primary cause.

Favoritism

We must remember that God sees all people equally: as His loved children.

He does not love one more for having money and possessions or for not having money nor possessions.

God cares most for those who express their love and devotion for Him, yet He still shows love and grace to all people in some fashion.

We should do likewise, and, in fact, we are commanded to.

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
James 2:1-4, ESV

Our Great God, thank You for Your love and grace. Help us to live out that love and grace with all people, regardless of wealth or social standing. Help us to love everyone as You have loved us through the cross.


The Perfect Gift

Proverbs 21:14 

A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.
A secret gift calms anger; a bribe under the table pacifies fury. (NLT)

I don’t recall receiving any secret gifts, or any bribes for that matter. I have been asked to pay bribes, the last time when going through passport control in a certain African country. The request for payment was not to pacify anger, but to smooth my way through immigration when I had already paid the official fee. But when should gifts be made to placate an angry person? The Bible provides some examples, although those I can think of were not made in secret.

There is the example of Jacob returning home with his family and flocks. Having cheated his brother Esau out of his birthright many years before Jacob was somewhat apprehensive about the sort of greeting Esau might have in mind when Jacob arrived on the doorstep. In fact, Esau had sworn to kill Jacob after their father died (Genesis 27:41). So Jacob sent flocks and herds ahead as a gift for his brother. As it happened Esau had already put the past behind him and had more than plenty. He was genuinely pleased to see his brother again, and to discover that God had blessed him.

Then there was the time that David sent his men to Nabal, the local rich man, to ask for food and water. Nabal read David’s men their fortune and told them to take a hike. When they returned to David he blew a fuse, and together with 400 armed men headed back to find Nabal and read him his fortune. While Nabal was a fool, he was married to a smart lady by the name of Abigail. She took charge of the situation, and headed off to meet David with more than enough supplies to feed David and his men (1 Samuel 25).

This proverb and the two examples from Scripture indicate that there may be times when gifts need to be made, and not only in secret. While there are times when a gift may correct a wrong, God’s people are encouraged to be generous. There should be occasions in all of our lives when a gift should be made for no other reason than to bring joy to another human being.

There is a gift that should be made in secret. It is the gift of our time when we choose to find a quiet place at the start of the day to surrender ourselves completely before God. We do so knowing that God’s anger at our failings was pacified when Jesus gave His life as the perfect gift. Such a perfect gift requires only one response. How do you express your gratitude?

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV)


As Cosby Said

Proverbs 20:20

“Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”

My Daddy Used to Say

My father has been mentioned before, but I am going to talk about him again. You see, my dad had a very simple way with words – he said what he meant and he meant what he said. I rarely heard him raise his voice, and I didn’t want to.

One of the things my father used to say was based on the stand-up comedy of Bill Cosby. He would tell me, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.” But unlike modern children who never hear talk like that, I believed him.  And believe me, he was very capable.

Respect

Once I said something disrespectful to my mother and quickly regretted it. Another time, when doing some martial arts sparring, I struck my dad a little too hard in the jaw (doing the “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” routine). That was a big mistake.

I loved my daddy. He was my best friend and my hero. But my dad was quick to remind me that he was my father. He expected and demanded respect for both my mother and himself, and I gave it. I would have never considered “cursing” either one of them.

Cursing

When we look closer at the word “curseth,” we see that the meaning has more to do with making little of, or showing contempt for one’s parents, which is more than simply hurling bad words. Cursing one’s parents is showing utter disrespect.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where children think they have the right to fire off obscenities and make demands of their parents, like parents were meant to be their slaves. And what makes it worse, many laws encourage this type of “cursing” by punishing parents who exercise any discipline.

Consequences

Galatians 6:7 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” The “cursing” that Solomon mentions, then, is seed which will one day reap a harvest of darkness.

Irony can be a wonderful tool, and Solomon uses it beautifully in this proverb. Just take a moment and think about it: the cursing children wouldn’t even exist without the parents they deem so invaluable, so who needs a progeny with no predecessors?

Our Father in heaven brought us into this world, and He can surely take us out.


Greasing the Skids

Proverbs 18:16

“A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.”

Wise Investing

You have seen it done in the movies, and maybe in real life. A man walks in to a nice restaurant and finds that no tables are available, but when he pulls out a $50 bill all of a sudden a place is found. That is more like bribery, not what Solomon is talking about here.

What Solomon is telling us in this verse is that gifts can be a wise investment – investments that can offer great returns in the form of privilege and audience. And it’s not about bribery but common decency, respect, manners, and wisdom.

Playing Smart

There is nothing wrong or un-biblical about playing smart. In many ways life is a game, and the ones who play by the rules are more likely to come out ahead in the end. It doesn’t always work out, but acting with intentional respect can have a road-paving effect on one’s life and career.

Essentially, if you want to be included in certain circles or have audiences before “great men,” being selfish, stingy, and arrogant is not a good first step in the right direction. One can “grease the skids” with a little gift and a nice card. Even a kind deed done on one’s behalf is a gift that may prove beneficial in the future. Consider the following story…

Mordecai’s Good Deed

“During the time Mordecai was sitting at the king’s gate, Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, became angry and conspired to assassinate King Xerxes. But Mordecai found out about the plot and told Queen Esther, who in turn reported it to the king, giving credit to Mordecai.” – Esther 2:21-22 NIV

Later…

“That night the king could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles, the record of his reign, to be brought in and read to him. It was found recorded there that Mordecai had exposed Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, who had conspired to assassinate King Xerxes. “What honor and recognition has Mordecai received for this?” the king asked. “Nothing has been done for him,” his attendants answered.” – Esther 6:1-3 NIV

Mordecai’s gift of honesty and bravery was rewarded when the time was right. Room was made for him as he was brought before great men.

Key to Giving

But there is one very important thing to remember: when you do give gifts, don’t expect anything in return. A bribe is not a gift. A true gift is not a bribe.