Category Archives: counsel

October 18, 2016

Parental Responsibility

By David

Proverbs 23:15-16 

My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine. Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.
My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad indeed; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. (NIV)

My experience of being a parent is that it is a great privilege, although my father may have different opinions on the subject! It is also a huge responsibility. I do not believe that God expects us to parent alone and throughout the lives of our children I have prayed for His help and guidance in parenting. I truly believe that God has shared the responsibility, and I have seen clear evidence of His touch on the lives of the children He has placed in our care

Unfortunately children do not always make wise choices. I remember the day that my father had to collect me from the Police Station when I was fifteen years old. Dad didn’t need to say a word when he walked into the room. Disappointment was written all over his face and it completely destroyed me. Compare that with his pride a year later when he dropped me at the airport in my brand new uniform to fly to Göteborg to join my first ship. It was five months before he saw me again but I knew from the letters he and my mother wrote that they were proud of my career choice.

My wife and I have also known times of disappointment as well as times of great joy in raising our five children. There have been many times when our hearts have been warmed by things our children have said, done, or achieved. Just this last weekend we visited James, our middle child, and stayed in the home he and his fiancée have made. They get married in October. We were impressed by many aspects of their home-making, but even more so by the fact that have chosen to honor God and each other, and not share a bed until after they are married. That, in our opinion and experience, is an excellent basis for a married life built on trust. To me it also underlines the responsibility of example.

It is a parental responsibility to teach wisdom through example. Results may not be guaranteed, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. If we hope to see wisdom shown in the lives and words of our offspring, then we need to make sure that it is evident in ours.

3 Comments   |  tags: , , | posted in counsel, Parenting

October 13, 2016

Get Ready to Learn

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 23:12

“Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.”

Pause to Prepare

This proverb echos 22:17-21 and asks us to get ready for what we are about to read/hear. In other words, what is about to be said is very important, so we should prepare our hearts and tune our ears.

I can almost imagine Solomon looking at his son the way I sometimes look at my daughters. I call their name, get eye contact, and then ask, “Are you listening to what I am about to say?” Sometimes I even take two of my fingers, point at their eyes, then mine, just to make sure I have their attention.

Solomon is trying to get our attention, but he is warning us that what we are about to hear might not be pleasant.

“Apply”

It is interesting to note that the majority of Bible translations use the same word in this proverb: “apply.” This should tell us that there is something special about this word – something worth examining.

The Hebrew word for “apply” is an expression that simply means to go in and come out. But when we use it in connection with one’s heart, the idea is that we must decide where the heart goes – it can’t be allowed to go where it wants.

Obviously, the heart is our seat of emotions, but too often the heart is in the seat driving. Solomon wants us to prepare our hearts for something that might not be pleasant, something that might cause our emotions to take over.

“Instruction”

What is it that Solomon asks us to apply our hearts to? He says, “Apply thine heart unto instruction.” But here again, should be mindful of words. “Instruction” is a word we typically associate with being told what to do. However, the Hebrew word muwcar (mü·sär’) lends itself more to the idea of discipline and chastisement.

So what is the point?

Solomon is about to instruct us with knowledge that may be hard to handle, so he is telling us in advance to do what is necessary, even if it is difficult.

You see, we need to make our heart go to a place from where it would normally run. We need to force our ears to hear what we don’t want to hear. We need to take our emotions by the hand and willfully walk them through disciplined paces. Otherwise, what we are about to read next will cause us to flee with our emotions leading the way.

1 Comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in advice, counsel, Parenting, Warnings

October 7, 2016

I Did It My Way

By David

Proverbs 23:9 

Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.

All of us fall into ‘the fool who doesn’t listen’ category from time to time. One example that comes to mind is of Martin, a fellow cadet on my second trip to sea. Martin was a first tripper and all seafarers are aware that first trippers know nothing. Hence the saying ‘only first trippers and seagulls sit on a ship’s rails!’

Mart154Martin was an intelligent but unconventional young man, with an unusual upbringing. This included time spent growing up as a missionary kid out in the bush in Kenya, followed by a boarding school education back in England, while his parents continued to serve in Africa. We hit it off straight away. Martin was a couple of years older than me, but theoretically I was the senior cadet having served longer at sea. Friendship and length of sea time did not mean that Martin listened to me. In fact, his failure to listen meant that we both regularly got into trouble with the chief officer (otherwise known as the mate) and even the captain on occasions. Three incidents in particular spring to mind:

1. When we were told to paint the emergency fire pump Martin thought it would look better in rainbow colors. I told him the mate would not like it. Martin didn’t listen and we ended up repainting the fire pump. In our own time.

2. When given the task of repairing the canvas lifeboat covers Martin soon got tired of stitching on the patches. He suggested glue. I told him the mate would not like it. He didn’t. He made us stitch around the patches we had glued. In our own time.

3. When presented with numerous flags to wash by hand Martin felt that a spot of bleach might help restore the flags to their former glory. I took a stand on this one and told him that bleach would damage the flags. Martin didn’t listen. I didn’t see him add the bleach but I sure as heck saw the results. So did the captain when we tried to sneak the damaged flags back to the wheelhouse. I still remember the explosion. “YOU DID WHAT! YOU WASHED THE FLAGS IN BLEACH?!!!” The captain’s cap didn’t quite leave his head, but as a small man he was prone to jumping up and down a lot when he lost his temper.

Martin had a knack of thinking up shortcuts. No amount of advice would deter him from taking action that others were convinced was foolish. I guess the best defense that Martin had was his youth, but many of us left youth behind many years ago yet still fail to heed a voice of wisdom, or worse the voice of God. It is no excuse to say we didn’t hear, we didn’t understand, or we thought that our way was better. When God speaks we need to listen. Carefully. Then we need to do what He says, when He says, and how He says. 

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September 22, 2016

Oppressing the Poor

By David

Proverbs 22: 22-23 

Rob not the poor, because he is poor: neither oppress the afflicted in the gate: For the Lord will plead their cause, and spoil the soul of those that spoiled them.
Do not exploit the poor because they are poor
 and do not crush the needy in court, for the Lord will take up their case and will exact life for life. (NIV)

Once again the writer challenges our attitudes to the poor. How we treat those who are poorer than us, or even weaker than us is important. Most of us would probably read this proverb and think that it doesn’t apply to us personally because we haven’t robbed or oppressed anybody. Perhaps we haven’t, but are we sure? What about times we have failed to stand up for someone? Take it right back to the school playground where it was easier to walk away than stand up for a fellow pupil facing ridicule or even physical violence. I can remember thinking ‘rather him than me’ on more than one occasion.

Then there is the work place. When I joined the Merchant Navy as a sixteen-year-old cadet it was made perfectly clear to me that I was at the bottom of the pecking order. The chief officer on my first ship used to shout at me regularly, perhaps because he had been treated the same way when he was starting his career. I remember the captain sticking up for me one day and the treatment I received improved a little after that. A few years later when I was an officer I found myself speaking up for a young Rastafarian able seaman who was assigned to my watch. In this case the bosun and another seaman were making this young man’s life a misery, with the knowledge of the chief officer! He had nobody to plead his case until I stepped in. I did not make myself popular in the process, but I could not ignore what was going on.

Oppression takes many forms. Read through these verses again – there is a significant warning in verse 22. Is God challenging you about your attitude to others, or is He calling you to take a stand in someone’s defense today?

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in counsel, Giving Honor, pride/humility, Value and Worth

September 12, 2016

Know the Certainty

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 22:17-21

17 Bow down thine ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply thine heart unto my knowledge.
18 For it is a pleasant thing if thou keep them within thee; they shall withal be fitted in thy lips.
19 That thy trust may be in the Lord, I have made known to thee this day, even to thee.
20 Have not I written to thee excellent things in counsels and knowledge,
21 That I might make thee know the certainty of the words of truth; that thou mightest answer the words of truth to them that send unto thee?

The Importance of Scripture

Over the course of the past 22 chapters of Proverbs, we have seen all of the commands to hold to wisdom and take heed of the words that have been shared.

The Psalms speak repeatedly of God’s Law and the words of Scripture being so important, that we should memorize and act on these words.

What is so important about these words of wisdom and instruction?

Pointing to Something

As has been mentioned before, Jesus is the Wisdom of God (Proverbs 8, John 1).

Jesus said, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” (Matthew 5:17, NIV)

He also said, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.” (Luke 24:44, NIV)

And Paul also mentioned Jesus: “3 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3-4, NIV).

Finally, because we know this, we find in Hebrews 10:19-25 (NIV):

19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Dear Lord, help us to hold fast to Your Truth in our hearts and minds, that we may be changed to impact our world for Your glory!

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August 1, 2016

Counsel God?

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 21:30

“There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the LORD.”

Intelligent

I am a half-way intelligent guy. There are degrees hanging on the wall of my study, a few awards, and a lot of books on the shelves that I’ve actually read. But don’t be too impressed; I don’t have a doctorate (yet) and I still have problems with math and spelling restuarant.

What’s worse is I’m supposed to be a “spiritual leader,” a pastor, a Reverend. Along with those degrees on my wall, there is also a piece of paper that says I’ve been “Ordained to the Gospel Ministry.” According to some, that puts me on God’s speed dial. Riiiiight.

In actuality, I am only human, and a flawed one at that. This past weekend my daughter had to take the spiritual lead and call me to the carpet. She has no degree or title, but she does walk with God and loves the Word. So, when she saw me making a mess of things she exercised spiritual wisdom, understanding, and counseled against me. “Daddy,” she said through tears, “you told me to be bold, so I’m going to do that now…we haven’t even prayed!”

Infinite

Then there’s God.

No degrees. No diplomas. Only 66 books to His credit. Never been graded. The ultimate Self-Starter.

His library is limited to some scrolls, but He invented language and the light by which to read. He even provides the Light that illuminates the mind.

He is Wisdom. He is omniscient (knows all). He is the Judge of Heaven and Earth before who’s bar only one Counselor has the right to intercede.

I can be questioned. I can be challenged. I can be corrected. No matter how wise or spiritual I become, I am still just a wisp of mist in the air; human.

Our God is the LORD; His children stand in awe.

3 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in advice, counsel, Parenting, Wisdom

June 22, 2016

Panic Room

By David

Proverbs 21:18 

The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous, and the transgressor for the upright.
The wicked are punished in place of the godly, and traitors in place of the honest. (NLT)

The fact that wickedness exists in the world can be traced back to Adam and Eve and their family. The fall, when Adam and Eve disobeyed the one rule God gave them, ultimately led to the first murder when Cain killed his brother Abel. It seems incredible that one apparently small event in The Garden of Eden could give evil such a foothold in the world. It is not necessary to look back in history to see the consequences. We only have to view the TV news or read a newspaper. God’s world seems to be overrun by evil; but worse than that – it seems that those who are wicked prosper (see Psalm 73). Perhaps they do, but this proverb, and other Scriptures confirm that the time will come when the wicked will be judged and pay the penalty for the way that they have lived.

We have to remember that God is watching us, and watching over us. He sees everything, and He hears everything. This proverb confirms that God has a concern for the godly, the righteous and the honest. However hard we struggle with thoughts about the inequalities in our world, or with the harsh realities of human behavior, we know that God is just, and we know that He keeps His promises. That is what this verse shouts at me.

In Psalm 73 it is only when Asaph enters God’s sanctuary that he begins to understand. This leads Asaph into an attitude of worship and the wonderful words, “Whom have I in heaven but You?” When we come into God’s sanctuary and open our ears then we allow Him to speak into our situation, to answer some of our questions, and to remind us that it is good to be near to Him. In a world we struggle to understand, God is our panic room.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73: 23-28 NIV)

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in affection, counsel, Paths of Life, Trust the Lord

May 2, 2016

It’ll be Okay, Right?

By Katie Marie

Proverbs 21:2 

“Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.”
“Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the heart.” ESV

Sadie:  Come on, Alison! It’s nothing that will hurt you.
Alison:  Sadie, I was told not to smoke it.
Sadie:  Who told you not to smoke it?
Alison:  My parents did, and if they find out I was here I’m dead!
Sadie:  Seriously? You are going to listen to them? Alison, it’s just a plant! What harm could it really do? Besides, you can’t trust your parents all the time.
Alison: They told me that it is dangerous.
Sadie:  I have been doing it for a long time and I’m still here! Look at me! I am living proof that its okay!
Alison:  Well…
Sadie:  Just try it one time. Trust me. I promise you that it is worth it.
Alison:  …Alright… I guess it won’t hurt to do it just this once.

Your Thoughts?

What do you think about this situation? Do you think it is fairly obvious that what Sadie is trying to get Alison to do is wrong? Well, she thinks it’s okay, and as far as Alison knows, Sadie was telling the truth and there was really nothing wrong with burning and inhaling the smoke from the “plant”.

The Truth.

Truthfully, we all think our wrong actions are right from time to time. The Lord, however, knows what is good; He knows what is right. This story didn’t have to be about drugs. It could have been about drinking, lies, sex, or anything else that has consequences. Any one of those topics have heartache as one of the side-effects, but the way of the Lord leads to heart-help.

And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God. – Luke 16:15 (NASB95)

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April 22, 2016

The Potter’s Hand

By David

Proverbs 20:24 

Man’s goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way?
The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way? (NLT)

A non-believer might challenge this verse on the basis that if God gave us free will then why is He still pushing buttons somewhere that control our daily comings and goings? Most believers on the other hand are probably grateful for this one line reminder that God is watching over each one of us. The challenge comes when we don’t understand the things that take place around us, be they global, local or personal events. The prophet Isaiah was given an explanation, which he wrote down for us:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)

There are people who would like to mold God to fit their image of Him. It is not possible for any human to mold God, but if we allow Him, He will mold us. This is the challenge that we face daily – to be completely surrendered to our loving Father God to the extent that His will for us translates into His direction of every single step we take, regardless of our understanding of the process. We could use the words of a Darlene Zschech song as a daily prayer of submission to our Heavenly Father:

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior
I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into your perfect plans
 
You gently called me into your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life
Through your eyes
 
I’m captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know You’re drawing me to Yourself
Lead me, Lord. I pray
 
Oh take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter’s hand
 
http://youtu.be/VH6uHnxGQNM

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in counsel, Paths of Life, Trust the Lord

April 21, 2016

Using a Legacy

By David

Proverbs 20:21 

An inheritance may be gotten hastily at the beginning; but the end thereof shall not be blessed.
An inheritance obtained too early in life is not a blessing in the end. (NLT)

Jesus taught about early inheritances in the Parable of Prodigal Son. Interestingly, in our society an inheritance is no longer guaranteed. People are living longer, and many are tempted by schemes that release equity in their properties to help them remain financially secure during retirement. This often means that there is very little left to pass down to the next generation.

We received a small inheritance of £1,000 back in 1983 when my grandmother died. It was very welcome and we used it to purchase items we desperately needed for our home, such as a washing machine (we were getting by with a handed down twenty-year old twin tub at the time). That £1,000 didn’t last long, but it was used wisely. We knew where it had gone.

IMG_4574When the end was in sight for my mother-in-law she changed her will to leave each of her grandchildren £5,000 (the sum had originally been £1,000). We asked her to state in her will that these sums should be invested and released on the marriage of each grandchild, or when they had reached twenty-five years of age. Mother-in-law felt that her grandchildren should receive their legacies at eighteen years of age. Two of our children, and our nephew and niece had already reached that milestone. Sadly, not all of the grandchildren used their inheritances wisely. Perhaps it would have been better if the money held been held in trust until they were older and wiser.

CIMG1917Receiving an inheritance when we are young in age or lacking in wisdom is not necessarily a good thing. To use an inheritance foolishly is also disrespectful to the memory of the person who left that inheritance. When I think back to my mother-in-law’s passing the real inheritance was visible in the village church where we held a service of thanksgiving for her life. This woman who had been tragically widowed in 1979 lived the next twenty-four years of her life actively serving others. When I stood at the front of the church to talk about her life I was amazed to see the church so full that people were standing in the aisles and in the entrance. What a legacy to have touched so many lives. What a witness to the presence of the Holy Spirit in my mother-in-law’s life. And what a challenge to follow the example she set by following the example provided 2,000 years ago by Jesus Christ.

Relevant Posts: Leaving a Legacy

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