Category Archives: Parenting

August 19, 2013

Parents’ Joy

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 23:24-25

24 The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.
25 Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.

My Testimony

Today, I begin a new chapter in my theological journey at Phoenix Seminary.

My parents are very proud to see me pursuing ministry for God so diligently and wholeheartedly.

My parents raised me to be respectful. I was also taught to be open-minded yet reasonable.

When I first began attending a local church, they were not enthused. They were worried I might be indoctrinated with bigoted ideas and a judgmental attitude.

Instead, I began to believe what I was taught about the Bible and Jesus of Nazareth. That little Church of the Nazarene congregation helped me see the truth of love and grace and the need of a Lord and Savior.

In less than a year of my believing, of my life being changed, of the Holy Spirit moving through to me to act in wisdom and righteousness, my parents believed in the same Savior.

God the Father sent His Son to die, and then He sent my parents’ son to show them His Son.

It was none of my own righteousness and wisdom that won them over. It was seeing the righteousness and wisdom of the Father – Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit – that drew them to glorify His name!

They found true joy and the true reason to rejoice through me, thanks to our Lord!

A responsible and intelligent child can bring much joy to his or her parents. The greatest joy comes from seeing God manifested in the life of their child, and that is only true if God is manifested in their lives, as well!

Heavenly Father, gracious God, help us to seek You diligently. Live in us and through us that our parents and our children may see Your glory and turn to You. Make our joy complete as Your joy is made complete in us through Your Son.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , | posted in Faithfulness, Parenting, Paths of Life, Trust the Lord

August 17, 2013

Listen to Father

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 23:22

“Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.”

Many young people never experience the comfort and security of a strong father who provides and a caring mother who doctors wounded knees. Therefore, I am thankful that God blessed me with a father and mother who loved me and took care of me. However, countless children are blessed with loving parents, but never realize it until it’s too late.

Every new generation of youth complains that parents are stuck in the past, uncool, and not with it. What makes it worse is that today’s culture promotes closing the ear to one’s father and despising one’s mother. Forget what’s own children’s cable networks, even Disney movies promote the individuality and independence of boys and girls over the wise instruction of parents. Heck, the plot lines in most Disney movies are centered around a broken family.

Culturally, parental advice is considered a joke, a hindrance, and is even treated with disdain. How sad for us all.

Why should we listen to our parents? 

Parents aren’t perfect, that is for sure. As a parent with over 20 years of experience, I know for a fact that my advice can be flawed. So, what, then, makes my advice worth “hearkening” unto? Well…

  • I have seen a lot more, done a lot more, hurt a lot more, hurt others a lot more, and regretted a lot more than my children have.
  • I have stepped in pits, taken wrong turns, been bitten by dogs that weren’t supposed to bite, and picked up a snake by the tail.
  • I know what it like to love, what it is like to be loved, and what it is like to throw love away. I can give reason why one should question the old adage, “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” I mean, really?
  • I have held jobs, lost jobs, created jobs, and fired people from their jobs. I know the value of work, how to get work, and what to do to keep work.
  • I know what boys are thinking.

When we don’t listen to our parents or respect their opinions it is like saying we know that there are mines in the field, but we’ll figure out where they are on our own. Sheer foolishness.

When it comes to our mothers,…

Why shouldn’t we despise them when they get old? Why shouldn’t we get tired of their health problems, their stories, their complaints, and their warnings? Well…

  • For starters, she had you. You weren’t aborted.
  • More than likely she could have told your father, “No!”
  • For all your sleepless nights studying, partying, or hurting, she spent ten times that worrying.
  • You owe her. No amount of money, no matter how nice the nursing home is, can ever repay the pain of child birth.
  • Even though you owe her, she’ll never expect you to pay it back – because you can’t.

Only fools despise wisdom which can be gained without the pain of earning it.

1 Comment   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in advice, counsel, Parenting

August 14, 2013

Parental Responsibility

By David

Proverbs 23:15-16 

My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine. Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.
My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad indeed; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. (NIV)

My experience of being a parent is that it is a great privilege, although my father may have different opinions on the subject! It is also a huge responsibility. I do not believe that God expects us to parent alone and throughout the lives of our children I have prayed for His help and guidance in parenting. I truly believe that God has shared the responsibility, and I have seen clear evidence of His touch on the lives of the children He has placed in our care

Unfortunately children do not always make wise choices. I remember the day that my father had to collect me from the Police Station when I was fifteen years old. Dad didn’t need to say a word when he walked into the room. Disappointment was written all over his face and it completely destroyed me. Compare that with his pride a year later when he dropped me at the airport in my brand new uniform to fly to Göteborg to join my first ship. It was five months before he saw me again but I knew from the letters he and my mother wrote that they were proud of my career choice.

My wife and I have also known times of disappointment as well as times of great joy in raising our five children. There have been many times when our hearts have been warmed by things our children have said, done, or achieved. Just this last weekend we visited James, our middle child, and stayed in the home he and his fiancée have made. They get married in October. We were impressed by many aspects of their home-making, but even more so by the fact that have chosen to honor God and each other, and not share a bed until after they are married. That, in our opinion and experience, is an excellent basis for a married life built on trust. To me it also underlines the responsibility of example.

It is a parental responsibility to teach wisdom through example. Results may not be guaranteed, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. If we hope to see wisdom shown in the lives and words of our offspring, then we need to make sure that it is evident in ours.

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August 13, 2013

Not Sparing the Rod

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 23:13-14

13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Anti-biblical Ideas

For the past few decades, many parenting “experts” have said it is bad to discipline your children. Usually they say simply that you should not spank your child, but some go as far as to say you should never discipline a child.

There are families in which this idea can work, however, looking around at our western society today, it seems pretty clear that it has not worked well.

One of the dangers of this anti-biblical teaching is that there is an entire generation of egotistical and entitled brats preparing to take over running the world.

The other major danger is theological.

God would never …

A good parent reprimands their children when they do something wrong or dangerous. It teaches them to be safe as they progress through life.

When we are not disciplined but taught that we can do nothing wrong, we begin to believe that we can do nothing wrong.

Besides becoming a society of ignorant jerks, we also risk our souls.

If we never do anything wrong, we see everyone else at fault (which can cost us jobs, relationships, our health, and safety). We also see no need for a savior. With no need for a savior, we see no need for the cross of Christ nor discipline.

We then hear statements such as “God would never cause someone pain or discomfort!”

However, the writer of Hebrews reminds us:

5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.
Hebrews 12:5-7, NIV

Discipline is good, because it helps us mature and be capable of living responsible and well-balanced lives. Discipline keeps us out of trouble.

Discipline shows love.

Heavenly Father, help us understand the value of discipline, when and how to enact it, and that You use our circumstances to help us, that You may get all the glory!

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in Parenting

August 12, 2013

Get Ready to Learn

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 23:12

“Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.”

Pause to Prepare

This proverb echos 22:17-21 and asks us to get ready for what we are about to read/hear. In other words, what is about to be said is very important, so we should prepare our hearts and tune our ears.

I can almost imagine Solomon looking at his son the way I sometimes look at my daughters. I call their name, get eye contact, and then ask, “Are you listening to what I am about to say?” Sometimes I even take two of my fingers, point at their eyes, then mine, just to make sure I have their attention.

Solomon is trying to get our attention, but he is warning us that what we are about to hear might not be pleasant.

“Apply”

It is interesting to note that the majority of Bible translations use the same word in this proverb: “apply.” This should tell us that there is something special about this word – something worth examining.

The Hebrew word for “apply” is an expression that simply means to go in and come out. But when we use it in connection with one’s heart, the idea is that we must decide where the heart goes – it can’t be allowed to go where it wants.

Obviously, the heart is our seat of emotions, but too often the heart is in the seat driving. Solomon wants us to prepare our hearts for something that might not be pleasant, something that might cause our emotions to take over.

“Instruction”

What is it that Solomon asks us to apply our hearts to? He says, “Apply thine heart unto instruction.” But here again, should be mindful of words. “Instruction” is a word we typically associate with being told what to do. However, the Hebrew word muwcar (mü·sär’) lends itself more to the idea of discipline and chastisement.

So what is the point?

Solomon is about to instruct us with knowledge that may be hard to handle, so he is telling us in advance to do what is necessary, even if it is difficult.

You see, we need to make our heart go to a place from where it would normally run. We need to force our ears to hear what we don’t want to hear. We need to take our emotions by the hand and willfully walk them through disciplined paces. Otherwise, what we are about to read next will cause us to flee with our emotions leading the way.

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July 15, 2013

Counsel God?

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 21:30

“There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the LORD.”

Intelligent

I am a half-way intelligent guy. There are degrees hanging on the wall of my study, a few awards, and a lot of books on the shelves that I’ve actually read. But don’t be too impressed; I don’t have a doctorate (yet) and I still have problems with math and spelling restuarant.

What’s worse is I’m supposed to be a “spiritual leader,” a pastor, a Reverend. Along with those degrees on my wall, there is also a piece of paper that says I’ve been “Ordained to the Gospel Ministry.” According to some, that puts me on God’s speed dial. Riiiiight.

In actuality, I am only human, and a flawed one at that. This past weekend my daughter had to take the spiritual lead and call me to the carpet. She has no degree or title, but she does walk with God and loves the Word. So, when she saw me making a mess of things she exercised spiritual wisdom, understanding, and counseled against me. “Daddy,” she said through tears, “you told me to be bold, so I’m going to do that now…we haven’t even prayed!”

Infinite

Then there’s God.

No degrees. No diplomas. Only 66 books to His credit. Never been graded. The ultimate Self-Starter.

His library is limited to some scrolls, but He invented language and the light by which to read. He even provides the Light that illuminates the mind.

He is Wisdom. He is omniscient (knows all). He is the Judge of Heaven and Earth before who’s bar only one Counselor has the right to intercede.

I can be questioned. I can be challenged. I can be corrected. No matter how wise or spiritual I become, I am still just a wisp of mist in the air; human.

Our God is the LORD; His children stand in awe.

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July 5, 2013

Which Generation?

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 21:20

“There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.”
“The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get.” (NLT)

The Greatest Generation

A lot has been said in recent years about “the greatest generation.” Those were the folks who made it through the Great Depression and World War II. They did what many today refuse to do – work and save.

I remember stories my grandfather told. I remember how he literally kept track of every penny, even making note where he found coins on the street. I also remember how there was no worry about money when he died. That was years ago, and my grandmother (in her 90’s) is still living off of his investments.

The “greatest generation” taught us that living on a budget, only spending what you have to, and putting off things you want until you have the things you need was being wise. Where has that wisdom gone?

The Latest Generation

Many of today’s generation know where to find money – it’s at their grandparents’ house. Today’s adults spend and spend without sacrificing their wants, then when there’s no money for bills, guess who pays?

The wise have savings accounts, investments, and even a secret box or two. They are the ones who are living in assisted living homes instead of on the street or in a government nursing home. The wise know how to live on a fixed income.

The fool gets a job, spends everything he makes on impressing his friends and neighbors, robs from his future, then begs from the wise. Then, when the wise go on to their final reward, the fool squanders his inheritance.

Lord, we all need more wisdom in this area. I thank you for family who were able to help me when I acted like a fool. Help me now, however, to act wisely, leaving an inheritance for those who come after me.

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July 1, 2013

Fe Fi Fo Fum

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 21:16

The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remain in the congregation of the dead.

It wouldn’t take much to imagine a fairy tale attached to this proverb. If we ponder the meaning of the last word, a tragic version of Jack and the Beanstalk might unfold.

The Giant Dead

Go ahead and think of the “congregation of the dead” as an assembly of gruesome zombies. No one would want to have supper with them, not unless they wanted to be the main course. Think also of a cemetery, a place where the dead have surely congregated and remain to this day. Either one would be a mental picture worthy of us staying on the right path.

giant

From “Jack the Giant Slayer”

But one could also think of the “congregation of the dead” as something else. One commentary points out that the early church Fathers regarded the Rephaim [the Hebrew word translated as “dead”] as “the giants,” in accordance with their interpretation of Gen. 6:1–4.* So, picture with me, if you please, a spiritual version of bone-crushing, fe-fi-fo-yelling, monsters.

What could be scarier than foolishly wandering off the path of understanding, only to run into a congregation of 50ft-tall man-eaters? Not much one can do.

The Wanderer

Sadly, there are many who wander away in their own wisdom. They think the way of understanding is too boring, too uneventful, and too safe. They believe they know a better way, so they take off on their own into the dark.

Unfortunately, Solomon uses language that implies a sense of permanence. He says that the one who wanders away “shall remain” with the dead, or giants, or whatever. By that he means a “rest as at a journey’s end; death will be his unchanging home.”**

The Wayward

Too often parents and grandparents say that children need to “sow their wild oats,” meaning that they should be allowed to act with indiscretion and abandon while they are still young. Tragically, many of those young people wind up trapped by the congregation of giants, never to be seen again.

Would Solomon have suggested sowing oats in a giant’s field?

Sources:

*Proverbs, ed. H. D. M. Spence-Jones, The Pulpit Commentary (London; New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company, 1909), 407.

**Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown, Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1997), Pr 21:16.

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June 22, 2013

The Here and Now

By Anthony Baker

Proverbs 21:7

“The robbery of the wicked shall destroy them; because they refuse to do judgment.”

Karma

Maybe you’ve heard people say, “What goes around comes around.” The meaning is, like a big circle, life has a way of coming back around. Some people call it karma.

I don’t believe in karma, however. As a matter of fact, karma is a theological idea that is linked to the unbiblical teaching of reincarnation. Karma doesn’t deal with the hear-and-now, only the yet-to-be-known. It pushes the consequences of this life into the unknown of tomorrow, leaving one never knowing for sure what tomorrow holds.

Some may read this proverb and conclude that it is similar to the idea of karma, but it is not. The consequences this verse deal with the ones committing the wickedness, the judgement of which will be known in due time. In other words, this proverb deals with consequences that will be felt by the wicked doing the crime, not their poor, unwitting, future incarnations.

Consequences

One of the hardest things to do is convince children that their bad actions may result in painful consequences – in this life. Recently, a father I know (not me) was telling his daughter that she was being rude to others and that her selfish, hateful comments would get her in to trouble. No sooner than he warned the young girl, a cry of pain rang out. The little girl had gotten slapped by her older sister, which then resulted in the little girl getting a spanking, too.

When we refuse “to do judgement” and go about with our “robbery” like nothing in this life will ever happen, we live as fools.

“The wicked conceive evil; they are pregnant with trouble and give birth to lies. They dig a deep pit to trap others, then fall into it themselves. The trouble they make for others backfires on them. The violence they plan falls on their own heads.” – Psalm 7:14-16 NLT

It is unwise to think that we can live however we please and push the consequences down the road. The end of the road may be just around the corner, and there a toll must be paid.

 

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June 15, 2013

Getting Spanked

By Daniel M. Klem

Proverbs 20:30

30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.
30 Blows and wounds scrub away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being. (NIV)

Earning a Spanking

Growing up, I was not always the most well-behaved child.

My parents would tell me to do something or not to do something, and I every so often I would ignore their commands.

What was the result?

Most times, I would be laid over a knee and spanked two or three times.

I eventually learned that there are consequences to my actions, and sometimes those consequences hurt.

Western culture may frown on such things today, but the Bible tells us of the benefits of a good spanking (or other such discipline).

Spiritual Spanking

As a whole, we tend to ignore God on a relatively consistent basis.

This could be by not doing something we know we should, doing something we know we should not, or doing or not doing something that we understand from common sense needs to be done or not.

And God reprimands us.

4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” (Proverbs 3:11-12)

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.
Hebrews 12:4-8, NIV

Do not look at hardship, beatings, and pain as necessarily bad. They could be God’s spankings that are the means of growth and understanding.

Heavenly Father, purge us of all evil and give us the wisdom to understand that it is happening. Help us grow in Your righteousness.

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